Month: January 2019

Dear Readers,

“Goals you refuse to chase don’t disappear, they become ghosts that haunt you.”

I read those words in Jon Acuff’s book “Finish” a little over 2 years ago and I realized that a ghost I haven’t chased was very much in my face. I put the thought away, just as I had so many times before. Yet, it lingered.

I wasn’t ready to do anything yet, but the thought started to fester. 

Over the years, I have given a little weight to it, and then dismissed it, saying things like, I don’t have time. I don’t really need it. I am doing great without it. So then that ghost would be pacified by my rationalizations (always temporary) and so would quiet down and go away but not completely, it was always kind of hovering in the background.

Then I would forget about it for a while and then conversation with friends and colleagues would turn to backgrounds and schooling and I was suddenly very interested in other people and we somehow never got around to me. This was purposeful and I have dodged the topic for years. It’s time to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 

I think many people (some of whom are reading this) would be very surprised to learn, I have an Associates Degree in Drama and while I am very proud of my degree, it also took me five years to get a two year degree.

Yes, you read that right. It should be mentioned, I worked full-time and paid for it as I went which is why it took me so long. 

When I graduated from Austin Community College in May of 2005, I was working at Apple and was surrounded by wonderful and supportive people  (Like this wonderful woman, who was my boss at the time) who were very excited to be there, took pictures with me and cheered me on and no one asked what’s next? 

Most likely this was due to the fact that I had a great job and I was generally considered successful, and I surely did not make any noises about wanting to continue my college career. I had taken 5 years to get that two year degree and I was proud and a little stubborn because I was so successful that I didn’t need another degree. 

So a few more years passed and I kept working and acting (so you could say I was successfully utilizing my degree) and continuing to believe I was fine and didn’t need the additional schooling. 

Recently, I started to think about it a little more and thinking has recently turned to research and now finally, action.

Why? Well, I have a two year old daughter and I want her to be proud of me. Before you say she will be proud of me regardless of whether I have a bachelors degree or not, that isn’t really the point. I finally realized, this is something I need to do for me to to be PROUD of ME.

When you decide to do it, Put it out there so others can support you and cheer you on and keep you going when you are in the “this-sucks-and-is-way-harder-than-I-thought-it-would-be- why-did-I-ever-say-I-would-do-this” they can pull you back and remind you of all the reasons you decided to pursue your goal.

So (deep breath) I am taking my own advice. I have decided after a 14 year hiatus, I am going to go to school and get my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology.

Mini-wave and celebration of me! THIS IS BIG NEWS, PEOPLE!

I am not sure how this is all going to work, what with working full-time and parenting full-time but I do know that I can’t hide from this ghost any longer and it’s time to confront it at last. I also know that in the history of my life, any decision I have made to do something challenging, I have ultimately figured it out, even if it took a little longer or frustrated me a little or a lot. But enough about me, How about you?

What ghost is haunting you? What haven’t you done that is lurking just in the background, what do you need to do that you have been putting off, what do you need to do to be proud of you.

Think About It.

Dear Readers,

Last week was my birthday and every year I ask people to give me one thing.

I only ask for this one thing. I am always so happy to hear the stories later.

It’s like a continuation of my birthday for the next few weeks as I catch up with friends and they tell their tales!

It occurs to me people might want to do “act of kindness” so I did some research for you on some things you can do. I love lists so here is one!

Acts of Kindness For Strangers

1. Leave quarters at the laundromat.
2. Pay the toll for the person behind you.
3. Give someone a sincere compliment.
4. Buy someone behind you in line their morning coffee.
5. Pay for someone’s groceries behind you. (I can’t wait to do this one!)
6. Give up a good parking spot. (tough I know… but imagine how happy this will make someone?)
7. Smile at someone. (if someone looks at you weirdly for smiling at them, like has happened to me, smile at someone else, usually they will smile back.
8. Hold the elevator or door open.
9. Let someone behind you at the supermarket check out first
10. Give up your window or aisle seat for someone who has a middle seat.
11. Bring your flight attendant some chocolates.
12. Help someone struggling with heavy bags.
13. Help someone take a photo.
14. Take time to give someone who looks lost directions. (this requires that we not be on our phones and actually “SEE” other people!
15. Stop and help someone with a flat tire.
16. Carry a $5 gift card with you and give it someone randomly.
17. Give someone else the cab that you hailed.
18. Let someone else get seated before you at a busy restaurant.

• Don’t overthink your random act of kindness! (A small gesture to you, could mean a world of difference to someone else!)
• If you’re introverted and intimidated with talking to a stranger, you can always make an effort with someone you know and then tell them and they will do an act for someone else and then it will ripple out to others.
• A bonus ? Do an act of kindness for someone who will NEVER know you did it.
• This look on my daughter’s face definitely makes me think of a person who has had an act of kindness sent their way. 

Can you bring the kindness back?

Tell me YOUR ideas for bringing more kindness to the world!

I can’t wait to read them all!

Think About It.

 

 

 

Dear Readers,

There has been a recent craze going around on social media to post a question about “AGING” – “how hard has aging hit you?”

As my birthday is coming up this week, I thought it apropos to talk about this and since I have a platform, here we go! I find it interesting and accurate that I am about to perform in one of these pictures and performing in the other.

Naturellement! I am, after all, a performer!

I think that a picture is often worth a thousand words but sometimes it’s worth a heck of a lot more.  The one on the left is 2009 and the one on the right is 2019.

Considering our daughter wasn’t even (literally) in the picture then, it’s worth noting the changes over the last ten years.

To make a very long story short, Jeremy and I have changed tremendously in the last 10 years, We are debt-free, we have become parents, and both of us had different jobs 10 years ago. It also worth mentioning that in those 10 years time we have been together, we have had three different addresses.  In the quest for authenticity and vulnerability, there has also been loss in that time and definitely lots of rejection for both of us, and that’s a necessary part of life.

On the whole, I think it’s safe to say that “aging” has been kind to us both and likely if you REALLY think about it, no matter what your profile picture, you will find the same. Most of us are better off now than we were 10 years ago.

While we are on the topic of “aging” — Here’s a few things to ponder…

We all age every day, but do you AGE?

Every night before bed, I write on a slip of paper these three things:

A- What I accomplished – Sometimes the answer is “nothing” and that is okay, Do-Nothing Days are sometimes GOOD for the soul!

G- What I am grateful for- (there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for!)

E- What did I enjoy? (This one is usually my favourite because it’s a great way to remember the day and the joy that was sparked in it. )

I did this for the last month of the year and then on the very last night of the year 12/31/18, I read them all and “relived” my year. It was VERY satisfying and I highly recommend it.

The second thing?

My birthday is on Saturday and every year I ask for one thing. Just one.

Please do an act of meditated and planned out kindness for someone. This can be small or big, your choice. The only thing I ask is that you tell me about it so I can enjoy your generosity to someone else!

Can you bring the kindness back this January 19th?

Think About It.

Dear Readers,

This past Christmas my husband and I were traveling with our little girl and while we normally pack everything but the kitchen sink in her diaper bag, this particular time we neglected to pack an extra outfit, so of course, this was the one time we really needed it because she got sick and needed a change of clothes but we didn’t have one.

No problem, there is a store on every … oh wait, It’s Christmas and we are in Brady, Texas and NOTHING is open except a gas station. So hoping against hope that they would have an extra shirt or heck, even a towel,

so we could put her in it so she would have something to wear. No such luck, and as we walked around the gas station, I saw several glances of pity and a few of judgment as I walked around the store with my two year old (she was in her boots and a diaper)

both to look around the store for something (we didn’t find anything) and to get her a break from the car as we filled up the gas tank.

I do my best to ignore judgment and I was having trouble because I was feeling pretty bad about being unable to dress my child for the moment. I walked back out to the car and two families came over and offered us some clothes for her. We were overcome by this kindness and said so, we offered to mail them the clothes back and they said, No thank you, Merry Christmas.

It’s easy to think there is only bad people and bad things in the world and then something like this happens and it truly restores your faith in people. My husband and I were both near tears as we got back in the car and he had the fantastic idea that this shirt (which is currently about 4 times too big) will be the shirt she wears every Christmas so we remember this Christmas kindness. I can’t wait to tell her this story to help illustrate how kind people can be. I was reflecting on this story today as I pulled over to the side of the road to get a box out of the street and a person on the other side of the street said, “Here, I can take that” and he took it and smiled at me, I smiled back and that was it. My day was instantly improved and I was reminded again of the kindness of strangers…

How about you? What can you do in your way to help “Bring Kindness Back?”

It really doesn’t take much. A smile to another person. A sincere compliment to someone when they don’t expect it. Letting someone go ahead of you in traffic. Picking up some trash on the side of the road or maybe putting your neighbor’s trash cans back for them.

Think About It.