So last week I posted about saying no to others and saying yes to yourself, yes to “me time” and not planning so danged much.. I did okay until people started asking me to hang out and do things I enjoy but I realized as I said yes to some of the things NOT ALL OF THE THINGS (like I normally would) that like everything else we are doing, it’s about the baby steps… one step at a time, slowly, slowly, I will get to the place where I do less and do more things just with myself and by myself.
I stopped to think about it and think the last time I did truly nothing and I couldn’t. So on Tuesday after a very productive conference call and lots of unpacking of the new house and cleaning of the old house and running ragged all day, I just went WHOA, I am done.. so I took a shower and put on seriously fuzzy socks (many of you know my penchant for those) and pajamas and sat down and watched mindless sitcoms on Netflix and just enjoyed. I did take a call from my Mom, but you know I love talking to her and just as I am learning how to take things slowly and slow the HECK down- aka STOP DOING ALL THE THINGS! she reminded me that she has the same issue but the key is take it slow and do less. So one plan a week with friends, and one date night with the husband, and one night for cleaning, etc…
It was a good reminder and after we hung up, despite being tempted to unpack another box or do the dishes I just sat and lounged doing NOTHING.
IT WAS AWESOME!
I need to remind myself of that, and take comfort in the fact that “Rome was not built in a day” and all the other cliches about things taking time. It truly does take 30 days to build a new habit and I am excited to get started!
Think about it!
Because I am only human, I posted a picture of some of the handiwork that comes from unpacking 🙂 ENJOY! oh and drink wine when you unpack, so much more fun!
Recently I realized I am doing too much aka saying yes to way too many things.
Let me give you the run-down.
1. We are packing and moving old place
2. Working full-time
3. Unpacking and organizing new place
4. In Toastmasters where I am very active as a mentor
5. Working on chartering a new Toastmasters club at work
6. Training for a 1/2 marathon
The list could go on but you get the gist. So I think my body just decided, Nope I am done because I haven’t exercised in weeks and have eaten not at all paleo, this is not me getting down on myself, just telling the truth as I have pledged to do.
So I realized that something has to give and that something is my very active social life. Let me explain, over the last few months I have gone to see shows, have coffee, dinners and all things social pretty much continually and its only now that I have pledged to commit to fully unpacking and organizing the new place before doing ANYTHING else that I am fully understanding how much of that time was planned out to be somewhere else.
However this is a yes to myself because knowing that our space is more organized, daresay CLEAN and TIDY.. perhaps that will lead to me wanting people to come visit us instead of always going somewhere else. The old place was cute but this one is nicer and more importantly, safe for me to invite people with kiddos and without!
SO what is the point, you ask? Simple. Time is the only non-renewable resource, if you squander it, its gone. So be mindful of your time, figure out where you are spending it and DECIDE if you want to do the things you are doing or just blindly saying YES when you might need to say NO.
Think about it……
Dear Readers, Within the last two years I have begun to care more about my body and this has led to healthier eating and regular exercise. It started with my husband finding and implementing the paleo diet in our lives. It should not be work to love yourself just as you are, but given my childhood and upbringing and the constant echoes of “if you would just lose the weight, you have such a pretty face” Even now, I feel a hot tear starting down my face as I type that but I am casting this demon into the light and sharing in hopes that it will be terrified of the light and scamper off like an unwanted cockroach. For starters, does this look like a child with a weight problem to you?
I have not been practicing this art very long (*2 years in the span of 38 is not even a third of one’s life) so to truly believe it will take time and the forming of a habit. I decided to go for it this week and just eat exactly what I wanted to eat.
Why am I telling you this? I hopes my honesty with a difficult subject will help you be honest with yourself and love yourself more. In a culture that constantly tells men and women to feel bad about ourselves, or to strive to look better or do better or exercise more, I really want to accept myself just as I am. It’s an ongoing quest in the battle for love of self and the end of food shame.
I am not saying that I am going to stop eating well altogether or exercising but after a refresher from the book, “French Women Don’t Get Fat” by Mireille Guiliano, I am reminded of the importance of her main concept which is “bien dans sa peau” which roughly translated is feeling well in your own skin.. or loving yourself as you are.
Much like the title character in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, “Eat, Pray, Love” I am not going for obesity but am DONE with the guilt. Now I have to keep saying that to believe it.
So I will not be beating myself up for the last week and rather call it what it was. “Vacation from Health” and now the new normal is eating healthy and no longer thinking or calling myself fat at all. I AM NOT FAT! I know that I am not the only one who struggles with this so please give me your best tips and tricks and ideas to share.. I am eager to hear YOUR stories and about YOUR journey with this issue.
Please comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Often I remark to my husband how simply amazing he is. He brushes off the compliment or says thank you grudgingly but every day I am touched in places I didn’t even know I HAD- (back when I was dating losers and SETTLING in every way possible) by the little simple things he does to make my lift better, easier, and just plain fun.
Exhibit A- After our trip away this weekend, he noticed my tire was low and even though he had the next morning to sleep in, he got up without complaint and followed me on my way to work to be sure I didn’t have a blow out on the way to air it up.
Exhibit B- We are moving, which is fun (you get a new place) and annoying (you have to pack) but he is making it really easy by having us pack a little each day (his idea and talk about a stress reliever) especially when I came home the other night to find he had packed the entire garage while I was at work.
Exhibit C- I got a ticket for running a red light yesterday, which is embarrassing and I was so worried about him being mad and he smiled and said, “We will figure it out” and started looking up defensive driving classes and telling me about how we can fight the ticket (which I plan to.. that light was SO YELLOW!) which was such a relief to me because it encapsulates so beautifully his whole philosophy for any obstacles that come our way.
“WE” will figure it out.
After we were married, It took me a minute (read months) to get used to this pronoun, and at times, I resented having to “check in” to be sure “we” were free before making plans or if I was going to be out late with the girls… but now I cherish it. We are a team, and together we are better and stronger than we could ever be apart.
I could go on and on.. and often do but the biggest point of all this.. is that every day I fall a little more in love with this man who is literally the most understanding guy I have ever met and makes my world a fabulous one.. this picture is an example of how even if he is in pain, (he had hit his toe with a hammer the day before) he will take a foot picture for me..just because I ask.