Month: June 2016

Bonjour! Allo! Dear Readers!

En Francais: Petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid.

In English: Little by little, the bird makes his nest…

This is a translation of an idiom I am found of, “every little bit helps”

As with so many things in other languages, there are things lost in the translation to be sure… but in this particular case, this idiom is perfect for me and the stage I am in in my life. I am pregnant so we are literally nesting for our baby bird coming to The Haston Love Nest on September 28, 2016. I am ardently in love with my husband so I coined the term “Haston Love Nest” when we moved into our first place together in 2011. It has stuck.

But I digress, this post is about how you can have great intentions but unless you take steps, you will NEVER get to where you want to go.

Case in point, on this very blog, my first mention of the desire to speak fluent french was noted in April 2013. Here it is if you would like to read it-

https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/the-words-you-use-matter/

The next mention was on my facebook because I joined a meet up group but made exactly three meet ups..(they are on Sundays and try as I might, things kept getting in the way)

I tried to figure out a way to work on French at work but met a roadblock, we don’t offer it anymore.. so I kept looking but my heart wasn’t fully in it. I have colleagues at work who speak French and I would occasionally send emails in half French/ half English.. but nothing consistent.

Every single time I would go to a meet-up I was SERIOUSLY intimidated and extremely frustrated because I was not perfect right now. Absurd, no?  I kept poking at it here and there and other things have taken greater precedence but on Friday a casual conversation (as a result of his flyer about a school that teaches your 4 year old French (I told you I like to plan!) with a work colleague led to the question, “do you speak french” and I said, “enough to get me in trouble” sort of laughing the question off…. I bemoaned the lack of meetups and was just making excuses all over the place  and he said, “why don’t we have lunch with you (he and his fluently speaking French wife) and you can speak French to her and she can correct you and you can get practice? WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! I am so excited about this. I feel like I am FINALLY taking steps in the right direction.  However, I realize that beating myself up about what I have NOT done is not the path to success. Recognizing that “little by little the bird builds her nest” is a really important piece of this particular pastry….

What would you like to do but feel like it’s WAY out of reach? Maybe it’s closer than you think…

Think about it…..

 

Dear Readers, some of you know this and some of you do not.

I am 26 weeks pregnant as of today, which is exciting and terrifying all at once. It will be a completely different blog to tell you about how I am feeling about impending motherhood.. stay tuned for that one!

I am ready and I am not ready to be a mom. I guess that is why you get 40 weeks or so to prepare. As has been touched on previously, I like to plan, and I really like to KNOW what is coming.. but with a baby.. you don’t, I mean how could you.. so with this pregnancy, I have gone out of my way to keep the information flow very slow and measured. I have read exactly 5 chapters of “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and I consult a website to see what my baby “should” be up to each week.. size, lung capacity, heart and brain development and so on.. but trying super hard to not overload myself with information that I can’t do anything about.

As someone who enjoys planning and knowing what’s coming… it’s extremely difficult to not know…… so I have likened it to being a stage manager (which I have done many times) for a production that you can’t see or hear (which I haven’t done ) but you KNOW it’s going on… – the clues are in the tiredness (seriously, I thought I knew what tired was and then I got pregnant. I have craved exactly two things.. Peanut butter and milk and that was in the first few months, those cravings have disappeared.

For a long time in this pregnancy, I didn’t feel pregnant, (really right up until last Sunday when I felt her move in my belly for the first time) well that isn’t exactly true.. because how can you possibly know what it is to “feel pregnant” as opposed to “not feel pregnant”- As far as I can tell it varies from person to person.. For more on that, talk to the pregnant people you know, or the mom’s you know, for me I have been shocked at how disparate the experience is for women. Some have morning sickness, some don’t. Some have food cravings, some have food aversions, some have horrible acne, some have the clearest skin ever… the list goes on….

So as far as I can tell, the question, “what’s next?” is the most frequent one..I am getting asked- it doesn’t always sound like that.. what it sounds like is.. “are you having a boy or girl?” “what name have you picked out”? etc.. and on and on.. these questions are concentrated on medical stuff too.. like next month, I have to take a glucose test to see if my child has gestational diabetes.. I am hoping that she does not have it, but if she does, we will deal with it. It does me no good to WORRY about it, because worrying about it changes nothing. The next thing is what is her weight? what is her height? Is she growing in proportion like she is supposed to? All these questions before she even takes her first breath– How exhausting!!

So something I have been trying to do as I head into the final trimester is live in the grateful place. I could be complaining about the constant itching  ( I mean literally my entire body from head to toe itches..( coconut oil is helping with that, thanks Durbin) or the swollen ankles (which remind me of a time I was eating a lot of Chinese food) which aren’t bad just inconvenient.. or I could complain about waking up a few times a night now or that it takes me longer to do things..(getting dressed, putting on shoes, walking, finding a comfortable position to sleep in, to name but a few)  but I am trying not to do that.. (could it be that my little girl is teaching me patience as she grows?) —But I choose not to, I am focusing on being grateful that I am pregnant because this time last year, I was very sad that I was not pregnant and didn’t have any of these symptoms. To me the lesson here is, live in the moment you are in, stop trying to guess what comes next and “breathe in” what’s going on right now!

So what’s next? I have no idea.. and for the first time, EVER I am okay with that.

I saw a great quote today which actually helped inspire this blog.

If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment. – Lao Tzu

To living in the moment—-

Think About It!

 

Dear Readers,

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know I typically shy away from the subjects that are volatile such as gun control or other politically charged topics but I have been thinking about what to write since Sunday and I have to write about this.

My heart aches for the people who were killed because of hate. It’s as simple and as complex as that. I hate that it’s possible, and even becoming commonplace. Like so many things in society, when it happens over and over the sad thing is that we become inured to the horror that something like this can happen. It is happening over and over again.

We all love the people we love for whatever reason we love them, should that really be a reason to lose your life?  I don’t want to put the spotlight on the person who killed those 49 innocent people so I am not publishing his name or anything else about him. I will however post the names of those people who are dead because someone decided they didn’t like their lifestyle and opted to play GOD. While you mourn, please remember that the names on this list could just as easily be you or me, or your wife, or your husband or your partner and the city could be your city. Let’s all remember to be kind to each other and ask questions when we don’t understand something. I think the opportunity to understand each other and love each other is there every day and sometimes it takes a senseless tragedy like this to make us realize it.

Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old

Amanda Alvear, 25 years old

Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old

Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old

Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old

Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old

Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old

Cory James Connell, 21 years old

Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old

Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old

Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old

Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old

Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old

Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old

Frank Hernandez, 27 years old

Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old

Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old

Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old

Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old

Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old

Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old

Kimberly Morris, 37 years old

Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old

Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old

Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old

Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old

Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old

Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old

Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old

Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old

Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old

Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old

Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old

Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old

THINK ABOUT IT.

I can’t speak for you, but as for me, I am going to do some research and see what I can do about becoming involved in greater restrictions on guns or if there is anything else I can do. Thinking about it, is no longer enough for me. Is it enough for you?

 

I know this is a hot topic, at least it is for me.

I am 24 weeks pregnant, My baby is the size of a half an ear of corn and I am really getting excited about meeting her, please don’t deprive me of that chance because you needed to “like” “comment” or “text” someone. Does that sound dramatic to you?

On my way in to work today, I saw at least 5 people texting while they were driving. One of them nearly hit me, another went into the wrong lane and someone else honked at them to correct them but NONE of it was necessary. Just put the phone down or wait till you are where you are going.

No text is worth it.. please for the love of all things sacred, including the people who love you and would miss you, STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING!!!

I gave this speech last year and I am proud of it, but this is still a problem, so do your part and don’t text and drive.. please!

Here are some words from the StopTextsStopWrecks team-

We live in a connected world where multitasking is second nature and communication is instant. This, coupled with the compulsion to stay connected at all times, makes drivers overly confident in their ability to ‘safely’ text and use their cell phones while driving.  Many drivers believe that they can practice unsafe driving habits such as “driving with their knees,” “glancing up and down from their phone,” or “creating singing vines while driving,” but these drivers often do not realize how many consequences these behaviors can cause. It’s imperative that every driver remembers- all distracted driving is dangerous.

THINK ABOUT IT!

 

Dear Readers!

We went on an epic road trip (12 states in 10 days!) recently to celebrate being debt free! Let me say that again, we are DEBT FREE! This was also our “babymoon” which is something I only heard about recently from my fellow blogger and friend, Chelsea!

This is a trip you take to celebrate the two of you before you add another person to your family.. FOREVER!

I am going to go on record saying that we had some things planned but a lot of them were not.  (shock, gasp, and gaping inserted here) – My company was VERY generous last year and awarded me with a free vacation rental stay (my first) for excellent performance.      (Go me!) – so that was planned.. but everything else was “stop as we are tired” which by and large actually worked out much better than expected— color me shocked and surprised because I REALLY like to plan.. for more on this see this post– https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/go-with-the-flow/

One of my favourite things that happened, was that because we had NOT planned each and every detail of an itinerary we were able to stay an extra day in Florida on the beautiful white sands of the beach. I LOVE THE BEACH and find it the most tranquil place to be so that made the vacation an even sweeter one. Which would not have happened if we had “stuck to the plan”- We also didn’t know that our sweet friends Mike and Leanne were going to show up in Nashville and surprise us while we did our debt-free scream live and in person with Dave Ramsey himself!  (thanks again y’all!) (this did take planning, so if you do want to do one yourself be sure to contact the office in advance.. it’s about a 6 week wait right now and you also have to do it within 6 months of getting debt-free)

Here is our scream if you would like to see it..

 

Also not planned– we did a stop in St. Louis to see my Aunt and Uncle and cousins.. what we didn’t know is that my aunt and uncle were going to put us up in a very swanky hotel towards the end of the trip when yours truly REALLY needed some room service and some luxury amenities!

So what has this taught me? Well I still like to plan and heading into parenthood I am doing a fair bit of planning but I am coming to realize, planning is not everything.. it’s definitely important but it’s not as important as I thought.

 

This represents some major thought process change for me and I hope it helps you re-examine how you “know” some things to be true.. All I ask is that you …

Think about it….