Dr. Henry Cloud – Haston Helping Hands

Dear Readers,

My blog is directly related to the things that happen or don’t happen in my life and I do my best to be honest with you, my readers, in the hope that something I say will inspire you to action in your own life. So here is my question-

Is your friendship on life support?The more important question is- Should it be or is it time to pull the plug?

A few caveats, people get sick, they have kids, they have other friends, jobs, and responsibilities and for that I do make allowances until it becomes clear that the person I am trying to be friends with doesn’t really care about me at all. This is the time when you just have to say enough is enough and pull the plug. The catalyst for me making this decision was a few weeks ago, I went to The Smart Conference in Dallas and was privileged to hear Dr. Henry Cloud (author of the book , “Necessary Endings” who gave a really excellent speech about the necessary pruning we must do in our lives. In a nutshell, he talks about getting rid of the relationships or aspects of our lives that are “dead or dying” — which got me thinking, how

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2tdjXc9F8k (one minute microcosm of his ideas here)

So a few words about this, there are relationships that grow you and change you and support you and there are then people who just make you feel bad about yourself or can ONLY talk about themselves and spending time with them is always a version of The __________ Show — (you know what I mean) and those are the ones I am proposing you prune. Life is too short, we all have lots of things we are doing so I tell you now, the next time you set up plans to spend time with someone think about what you get out of that friendship. This is not about “what have you done for me lately?” this is about what does “this friendship” do for me?

Think about it!

whirlwind of a weekend!!

Friday afternoon, I drove to Dallas for a business trip (more on that in a bit) and usually road trips are stressful for me because despite being a good director, historically I have been bad at following directions.

This started when I would drive the 9 plus hours to New Orleans and I would contantly panic at the 610 split, is it North or South? Once I got to the signs saying “Beaumont” I knew I was okay and on the right track but the panic would constantly grip me at the worst part of the trip, when I had to choose left or right?

I am delighted to tell you, dear readers, that with three separate destinations, I did not get lost once which opened my eyes to the notion that maybe it hasn’t been difficult at all but rather my thought process about it that made it more difficult.

Bolstered by my hat trick, I headed to the Smart Conference featuring prominent speakers on career, marriage and parenting. I volunteered to attend for free and met some like-minded people who are working to get out of debt and happy to serve the organization for the day.

I could do an entire series of blog posts on all things I heard so I will just hit on a few quotes from each speaker and tell you that I learned so much and am filled with a renewed sense of motivation and purpose about living intentionally.

“A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word no.
Love respects no, control does not”
-Dr. Henry Cloud-

“Giving is the antidote for selfishness” -Rachel Cruze-

“Be open to the idea of being known
and knowing someone-
-Dr. Emerson Eggerichs-

“Outrageous Generosity is a character quality of people
who win with money”
-Dave Ramsey-

“You can’t please people. You just have to speak the truth.”
-Dr. Meg Meeker-

“Nobody really cares how you feel. They only care how you act”
– Andy Andrews-

Then after it was over, I drove home and then this morning I walked/ran 3.1 miles. I have a great support team, not the least of which is my husband who came to support me and some good friends cheeered me on, it was fun and tiring mainly because when I work out on my treadmill I am insulated from having to find a place to run, or avoiding people in front of me walking really slowly likely because they just stopped running and were cooling off themselves. My running buddy told me later that when I ran I was going really fast more than when we have jogged together. I was not prepared for “hitting the wall” since I have comfortable going 3.5 miles every time I run my treadmill. It was shocking to find myself ready to quit so close to the end. Susie Gidseg was AMAZING! “Just take it nice and slow” “30 seconds from now, you are going to hit that finish line and feel amazing” “you are doing great”

I really wanted to quit, and would have but for my partner. Once again, I am learning, the baby steps matter, one builds on another and you get there one baby step at a time.

I am planning to do this again, till I am able to run it from start to finish and will continue working intervals and slowly, steadily make my way to the next goal. What are you working on?
What baby steps are you taking?

Tag: Dr. Henry Cloud

Is your friendship on life support?

Directions and Baby Steps