Your title is not what defines you, you define you

Dear Readers,

As I was preparing for the “First Monday Night Prayer” which is a night our church family shares in community, food, and prayer I got to thinking about labels.

Somewhere along the road, I decided that being a Christian meant that you had to quote the bible all the time and it “looked” a certain way. I am delighted to find that life is full of so much more gray than that.

Take me for instance, I have many hats. I am a speaker, a manager, a coach, and an actor and a singer. Those are just a few. I am also a sister, an aunt, and hopefully one day, Mom.  This singing that I did for the church is as a direct result of my performance history and my wanting show my love for God. This post is not so much about that as the realization that you don’t have to accept the label that people give you especially when its a negative one.

Statement- Oh, she is a Christian- so she is righteous and religious and judges me.

No, I am a Christian, who believes in God, and is here to serve others and more importantly to meet YOU where YOU are. No judging here.

Statement- Oh she is an actor- so she is flighty and undependable

No, I am an actor which means I show up on time ( to fight that stereotype ) and am dedicated to my craft and work harder than anyone you have ever seen to bring a character to life.

So what is the point in all this you ask? Simple, you are the only one who puts limits on who YOU really are. A wealth of things await you in this life, all you have to do is be brave enough to call yourself what you are and own it.

This quote from Zen Pencils (you should really check this stuff out its inspiring) really landed on me.. especially because this is one of my favourite quotes by Marianne Williamson-

http://zenpencils.com/comic/65-marianne-williamson-our-deepest-fear/

“our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate….. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”

It was scary for me to sing for God, mostly because I have never done it before, but shining my “light” in that way made me feel really good and I hope it helped someone else see, “Hey, I could do that, too!”

Think about It…. FirstMondayPrayer

What’s your Love Language?

Dear Readers,

I come to you today to ask a question. What is your love language? I actually was very surprised when I went to this link to take that quiz. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

The last time I took it, was seven years ago when my boyfriend (now husband) agreed (at my urging) to take it so we could better communicate and relate. In retrospect, I remember thinking it was a fun exercise and didn’t have much to do with how I would behave moving forward. I know at the time, my highest score was “words of appreciation” so while actions are still important, as a logophile (lover of words) I love words of appreciation. Really shocking.

However, the more important result was my partners. Acts of Service is the best way to show your love to him. This would likely not surprise anyone who knows him. He is the kind of person who not only would give you the shirt off his back if you didn’t have one. He also would take particles and pieces of things from the ether to MAKE one for YOU before ever thinking of HIMSELF. This makes him a giving and selfless person and utterly lovable.

I hate doing landry so much so that I have a saying.. “I love you laundry loads” which for a long time was an “inside story” I had with a member of my family of origin which I have mentioned to my husband in passing, and he has truly taken it to heart-

What this means is I love you as much as I HATE doing laundry. Simple and awesome right? It turns out my husband understood this much better than  I did… Since he did an act of service for me..  which would be doing the trash, dishes, laundry and cooking.. things like that.. you know the things we all would rather not do. Well I came face to face with the fact that acts of service means more to me than I thought because the other day, though he was bone tired, my husband finished my laundry for me. I woke up early to finish.. and lo and behold I woke to find this ==Loveyoulaundryloadswhich is the physical manifestation of someone loving ME Laundry Loads. I teared up a little and headed to work, happy with my lot in in life to be loved so completely.

In case you are curious, this my love language NOW –

7 Quality Time
7 Receiving Gifts
6 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

It lines up well with my values, because as many of you, quality time is hard to come by and the most valuable commodity to me. It behooves all of us to know how the people in our lives can “love us better” so I recommend you take the quiz, at the very least to understand more about yourself and how you feel most loved.

Think about it…..

Could you, would you give up your IPhone? Guest Post by Tami!

I first heard of Dave Ramsey from my “work mom”.  She has listened to him on the radio for years!  When I would worry about money issues, she always said “you should listen to this guy Dave”  I actually Googled  Dave Ramsey and discovered Financial Peace University.  I also discovered it cost almost $100 to take the course!  As a single mom, I had no idea where I would find the money, so I brushed it off.  Whenever she mentioned him again, I would say “Yeah, but who can afford to spend money to learn how to deal with money?”

               Fast forward to 2012, I was married and we were really struggling to organize combined income and combined debt. .  The debt was overwhelming me, and we were fighting all the time.  Often times, we were going on outings we shouldn’t, and spending money we didn’t have because the financial communication was non-existent.   It went like this… Everyone was having fun and enjoying themselves, then there was me:  with a scowl on my face because I was so worried about how I was going to shift the money around to cover the “fun” we were having.  I felt like the kill-joy of the bunch…

I prayed that God would show us the way!  At church the very next Sunday, it was announced that Financial Peace University would be held at our church for the first time in 3 years!  I was like whoa!  Get this, there was financial aid available!  And God said “I got your back Tami!” I tell JR “Hey honey!  I want to take this get out of debt course on Sunday mornings, and you have to come with me or we won’t get the scholarship” Of course he came along and our journey began!  I ran some basic calculations and got him excited about how fast we could get out of debt.

               Before class started, I read a few chapters of the book and became proactive to make sure we could get the $1,000 BEF saved.  I cancelled my contributions to the deferred comp plan, reduced my Federal withholdings to zero for the rest of the year, and we managed to save the $1,000 two months early!  We were so excited to be in BS2 before the end of class!  We cancelled our cable a few months before we heard of the class, but I shopped around our insurances and we cut our food budget to cut back on expenses.  Christmas that year was an all cash experience which hadn’t happened in many, many moons… Credit cards were cut up and accounts closed.  We were well on our way, and even shaved a few months off our Debt Free Date!   

               Since then, I decided I wanted to take the class again (it IS a lifetime membership after all) However, there were none available in my area… that’s how I became a facilitator!  I now co-facilitate FPU at our church, and our next session will begin this October.  I am very excited and I love sharing the program with others who are struggling.  Their excitement feeds me, which in turn feeds my husband. Of course there are times though when he says “honey there are other things in life besides Dave Ramsey and you need to talk about them too!”

Our most drastic change to date has been cancelling our iPhones… That is a whole experience in and of itself!  Our Total Money Makeover journey is continuously changing as our attitudes and self-discoveries evolve.  Our DFD has changed again, but the opposite direction.  Some past issues came up that need dealt with, but we are dealing with them together.  My husband and I are both eternally thankful for the knowledge we gained through Financial Peace University.  We are both certain that without taking FPU, our marriage would be in crisis.  We will get through this mountain of debt, and we will do it together!

 

Like this post? Read more from Tami about getting out of debt and her sacrifices for financial freedom here

at http://iquitmyiphone.blogspot.com/