What makes you cry?

Dear Readers,

Last night I went to see a phenomenal show “When the Rain Stops Falling” – If you are one of my local readers in Austin, you should go see it, its heartfelt, extremely well written, directed and acted. I can not say enough good things about this show.

As an actor myself, it is sometimes hard to see a show I didn’t audition for but nonetheless am unhappy to not be cast in. Rational, no way, but True… This particular show was a notable exception, I thoroughly enjoyed it and didn’t have any feelings of “why wasn’t I in that show?” — It was perfectly cast and I can’t imagine it otherwise.

I promised to be authentic with you because who wants to read fluff. Part of being an artist is being authentic and sharing what isn’t pretty and nice but rather the jagged edges and glass shards of oneself so back to the play.

Why did it move me so? The story is one of heartbreak, loss and redemption involving an extremely bruised family who were just so achingly human. Does it help that some of my friends were in the show and not only good but gave heart breaking performances? Alexandra Russo and Scot Friedman, in case you are not sure who I mean, I just pointed it out, so thank you for giving me such a gift of not only being good people who I am blessed to call friends but fellow artists giving such a good name to the word.

I would like it anyway, but that it was so good made me love it.

The title of this blog post is “what makes you cry?” so I will go back to that. This play made me cry, music and movies sometimes makes me cry. When I am in pain, I cry and sometimes when I am happy I cry. So this makes it sound like I walk around the world sobbing piteously but no, actually its just one snapshot piece of who I am, and my hunch is it is a part of you as well.

Sometimes you just need a good cry, my Mom says that and you know, she is Almost ALWAYS right.

Think about it….

Model? Who me? oh yes, ME!

Dear Readers,

I suffered a few setbacks in the world of entertainment lately. The goal is of course to “get the job” but you know sometimes (most of the time) it is not my call.

I, of course, think I am awesomely talented and right for most things (note I did not say everything) so while it SUCKS OUT LOUD to be rejected its a natural part of the process of being a performer so you do eventually get used to it. I capitalize that statement to emphasize how hard it is to be rejected but it really is an inevitable part of the process to be told NO over and over and over and over ad infinitum till you get the lovely glorious YES and trust me when I say its worth it when it comes so right now instead of focusing on the rejections and setbacks my intention is to focus on when the YES comes remembering all the NO that got me to my yes.

I will admit to being in a bit of a funk lately due to this and not so much my smiling happy self and am happy to report I recently snapped out of it with some counsel from wise friends and a liberal application of movie watching and chocolate consumption.. (sounds fancy, doesn’t it?)

It was a refreshing change of pace to move from NO to YES while modeling last week with a really great photographer. Pictures to follow this post and I was reminded of how much fun it is to be praised for having a talent.. who knows, maybe I will get picked up for a modeling contract which will lead to a movie contract and so on and so on.. really anything is possible, not likely but possible.

So if you are reading this, please take heed of my advice and focus on your next YES that is coming and be patient, it is coming, I promise!

Think about it!Modelingismylife

Reframe and Reclaim


Rejection, no matter what your field, sucks. For the purposes of this post. I will approach it from the field of the actor.

The five stages of grief look a little like this.

Denial- “I must have heard the message wrong. I nailed that audition, they must have mixed me up with someone else.
Anger- “How dare they not cast me. I am awesome.”
Bargaining- “Well maybe they wanted to cast me but some political machinations got in the way”
Depression- “why even try? Look, I went for it and didn’t get it. I must not be good enough to get that part. They must know something I don’t”
Acceptance- “I didn’t get the part”

I realized something during this last cycle of Grief. Its all in how you frame it. For example, the picture you see here is me eagerly anticipating my po-boy sandwich and how excited I am to eat it. I choose to remember that feeling and not how I felt after it turned out to not be so good (didn’t think that was possible) and the fun I had with my husband later in the day.

Further, I choose to remember that he was willing to take that picture not that he hates to take pictures and refused to be in my pictures.

I think a lot of people would say that I live life looking through rose-colored glasses. I actually do see life the way it really is, I just choose to frame it through a rose-colored lens.

All of us have something in our past we are unhappy that happened to us. It is vital to not let it define you. So I say this to you. Reframe and Reclaim it as a learning experience or take something away from it that makes it yours, not something that happened to you. Happen to it. Take it back.

Think about it!

IF you have never failed, you have never tried

Famous Failures- It’s easy to say, wow, look at Michael Jordan he is very famous.. but what was he before he was famous? A failure, so is everyone else who is in this video. Viewed in that light, I can’t wait for my next failure, know why? It’s getting me closer to my next success!