Hearing “No” isn’t always a bad thing. I know, this is a hard sell, but stick with me, I come bearing examples to illustrate my point!
Allison Janney- auditioned for “Frasier” but she didn’t get it and I am sure she was pretty unhappy, but she didn’t know that “The West Wing” was on the horizon, waiting to make her famous.
Allison Janney was almost on Frasier!
Robert De Niro was almost “Sonny Corleone” instead of “Vito”
Eric Stoltz was almost Marty McFly in “Back to the Future” instead of Michael J. Fox?
Justin Hartley- auditioned for a television movie as Mandy Moore’s love interest, he didn’t get it and I am sure he was pretty upset because, you know, rejection sucks.
However, a few years later, he auditioned for “This Is Us” to play her son and he got that part. He has said that he is extremely grateful for the first “no” because if he had played her love interest, he would be pretty certain to not be able to play her son.
In another example, Dick Van Dyke ALMOST played James Bond– and Pierce Brosnan almost snagged the role way back in 1985! Interestingly enough, my top pick, Clive Owen turned it down repeatedly.
Dick Van Dyke as Bond and other nearly cast actors
Show business is rife with examples just like these and it’s a good reminder that the “no” that we hear while hard at the time are usually stand ins for “new opportunities” that would not have come our way if we had heard “yes” rather than the dreaded “no”.
What does all of this have to do with me, you ask?
Well, I have received a few of those no’s lately and without boring you with the details I will simply say, it’s been hard. Rejection sucks and no matter how much you “spin it” (A great specialty of mine!) it still SUCKS out LOUD to be rejected.
The thing I try to focus on is there is a very big world out there and new opportunities pop up all the time. Easy to say and think, hard to keep it in mind when the rejections come in and beat you down.
In times like these I try to reflect a bit on the past and when I have felt down and out and done, and then I look a little further down the road and look to see how things turned out. The week before my wedding in 2011, I got fired. It’s really easy to see NOW how that was a great opportunity, but at the time? I was terrified and not sure what I was going to do. I can report it turned out pretty great because I found a job that I have had and thrived in for the past 7 years. I am reflecting on that time a lot this week, because I will be saying goodbye to that job this Sunday.
It’s definitely not been a decision we made lightly and it’s the right decision for our family.
I am excited to see what unfolds on the road in front of me!
But back to you, dear reader, what are you hearing “no” about that you can reframe as “not yet” or “next opportunity” or “this just means something great is just around the corner”?
I am aware that sometimes that is NOT what you want to hear when you get that “no”, and what I am asking that you do is go ahead and vent and cry and be mad about your “no” and then reframe and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try, try, again.
Think About It.