Author: TheBossOfBalance

Haston Helping Hands- Jenn Haston- Author, Speaker, Activist-Helping People Find Their Balance

You are the only variable..

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Dear Readers, I got to thinking today about what that statement means.

In this life, we have 24 hours in a day and with this finite boundary we decide where to “budget” the time.

After almost two years of solidly budgeting our money, I have come to realize what a precious commodity time is and will be looking at it more along the lines of money moving forward. For instance, I will put a limit on how much time I am willing to spend with those who are not committed to living their lives with purpose and intentionality towards good. I will also limit the amount of time spent complaining about a situation instead of doing something about it. I will spend less time worrying about what other people think and focus on making a difference instead.

I will spend more time smiling.
I will spend more time being happy and less time worrying.

But mostly, I will spend more
time being with the people I am with and focusing on how to help them find and follow their dreams.

What time are you losing or squandering? Think about it!

Balance is everything

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

I had coffee with a friend last night and while talking I realized we don’t agree on finances. Not the end of the world, and we can certainly talk about a myriad of topics without bumping into this but it struck me later that one of us said, “I don’t agree with that” and I found myself probing to better understand the point of view alien from my own. I think it was Einstein who said it best, “The definition of intelligence is being able to hold two opposing viewpoints at the same time.” I may be grossly paraphrasing it but no matter, someone will be along to correct me shortly.

Seriously though, with all the negative vibes and judgment surrounding the recent Supreme Court ruling “you must be crazy to think that” I think we miss a huge opportunity to educate, not necessarily to change their mind but to make things more clear.

How many people are willing to ask questions about something that is almost sure to start a controversial discussion and admit that they don’t have all the answers. I certainly don’t and will assure you that I would rather soak things up like a sponge than ask a question and get doused with a bucket of hate. Sadly, this is often the case.

So what am I saying? Balance is everything. The next time someone asks you a question or says something you completely disagree with, I challenge you to say, “That is interesting that you say that, can you tell more about why you feel that way?” Here’s the kicker, you have to really listen to their answer and seek to not necessarily agree but come away with new information.

Think about it!!

Meet yourself where you are.. now and later..

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Hello friends,

I come to you once again to say.. meet yourself where you are. I have said this before, but its so important I thought it bore repetition. For example, I want to give a Ted Talk by this time next year.

That is scary saying out loud and then here I go putting it in black and white but there you go.

I can hear you saying, that sounds great Jennifer and you are awesome and all but how do you plan to do it?

Great question and I am glad you asked.

1. Don’t reinvent the wheel, if someone has already done it, read about what they did and if possible get an audience with them to find out the nuts and bolts

2. Do your own research. For instance, did you know that Ted speakers do not get paid, the prestige is what you are after and of course the opportunity to go viral for all the right reasons.

3. Work backwards. Some of the best advice I have ever gotten is from a noted director who said to me, when I asked him (quite the upstart am I) “What is your best advice for directing a play?” He said plan your schedule backwards, Opening Night is August 22nd. work backwards from there.

4. Be patient and curious about what you discover along the way to your goal. You may find that your goal changes or leads you to a new goal. Case in point, Healthy living for me has led to 5K pursuit I never even thought was in my reality and now I have done three of them.

5. Get accountability partners or someone you trust to help you stay the course or work on your goal.

Sometimes that can be you… Let me explain, there is no time. Let me sum up-

You can write a letter to yourself and have it delivered in the future- It’s kind of awesome to think that the motivated you of today can help propel future you forward!

http://www.futureme.org/

Think about it!

 

The way it is….

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Dear Readers, I try my best to be positive but there are times when even this Pollyanna gets down.

Today is one of those times. I won’t share much except to say that we all have things in our lives that no amount of positive things that you say, do, or think about it will ever change what it actually is. Reframing is the only option. Harder than it looks to be sure, and I am struggling with that right now.

Sometimes facing that reality and giving up the fantasy of what you wish were true is the hardest part. Having an active imagination makes that job 10 times harder. 

Try as I might, things will not resolve to my satisfaction so I have to put on a happy face and focus on what I can control and change how I look at it and see it for what it really is.

I promised to be authentic with you when you followed me, so for today, this is the way it is.

 

Reframe and Reclaim

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

JenReframe

Rejection, no matter what your field, sucks. For the purposes of this post. I will approach it from the field of the actor.

The five stages of grief look a little like this.

Denial- “I must have heard the message wrong. I nailed that audition, they must have mixed me up with someone else.
Anger- “How dare they not cast me. I am awesome.”
Bargaining- “Well maybe they wanted to cast me but some political machinations got in the way”
Depression- “why even try? Look, I went for it and didn’t get it. I must not be good enough to get that part. They must know something I don’t”
Acceptance- “I didn’t get the part”

I realized something during this last cycle of Grief. Its all in how you frame it. For example, the picture you see here is me eagerly anticipating my po-boy sandwich and how excited I am to eat it. I choose to remember that feeling and not how I felt after it turned out to not be so good (didn’t think that was possible) and the fun I had with my husband later in the day.

Further, I choose to remember that he was willing to take that picture not that he hates to take pictures and refused to be in my pictures.

I think a lot of people would say that I live life looking through rose-colored glasses. I actually do see life the way it really is, I just choose to frame it through a rose-colored lens.

All of us have something in our past we are unhappy that happened to us. It is vital to not let it define you. So I say this to you. Reframe and Reclaim it as a learning experience or take something away from it that makes it yours, not something that happened to you. Happen to it. Take it back.

Think about it!

Your dream is a lot bigger than you are…

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Dear Readers, Thank you for reading my blog. I know you don’t always comment but I know many of you are reading it and have met a few of you lately who have taken the time to tell me how much it helps you to know I am working out or working towards my goals and in turn it helps you to take one more baby step towards your dream.

Kermit the Frog said it best “Well, I have a dream too, but it’s about singing and dancing and making people happy. It’s the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And I found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that makes us sort of like a family.”

It struck me today how much it helps to have people to share a dream with and the more people you tell about it the more people can and WILL support you. As for the ones who don’t well they are just mad that they didn’t go after what they wanted. That’s about them, not you.

Make sure you ask for help and tell lots of supportive, positive people about what you are up to. They might surprise you with what they have to offer to help you get to where you are going.

Think about it!

Change one thing. Change Everything.

TheBossOfBalance3 Comments

Dear Readers, Today is the day of my week I look forward to the most. Today is cheat day on my diet. Most days I am (along with my husband) eating a paleo diet and I experience the joy of weight loss, energy and overall good health forsaking all those foods that my former fat girl self loved and adored. How did I get here?

I gave up soda. It sounds harder and yet was easier than I thought.

I work in a wonderful place that offers free sodas as one its many, many perks but they don’t have my favourite soda so I justified it like that. I said, okay well they don’t have what I want so I will decide to do without it. After a week without it, I no longer thought about it.

The next thing I gave up was chocolate and the same thing happened. I no longer thought about it after not having it all the time and so on. After we had adapted to the paleo lifestyle for a month, we had a glorious meal full of all the foods we loved and had temporarily given up. It was delectable and oh so very choice. I remember that meal and it was one night over a year ago.

Today, though it is cheat day, I am actually planning to only cheat with one meal instead of three, baby steps, people!

Expand your imagination, and find one thing that you have been talking about doing something about  it, today!

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth in ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Do it, and watch what happens.

 

Push past your comfort zone

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Push past your comfort zone

I hate getting dirty, I like to stay clean and neat. But when my friend Jessica said, let’s do a colour run, I said, Sure, why not!

I was scared of getting it in my nose and my hair and choking on a cloud of toxic (albeit colorful) paint but you know what?

It was fun and easy and I liked being covered in all that paint!

My husband got up at 6:30 this morning to come cheer me on and of course make sure the car was properly covered in towels and sheets so I didn’t get paint on the car later. He smiled and took pictures of me (which he HATES) and cheered me on like he does in everything I do, not just races. There is nothing like having that kind of support to push you past what you think you can do. I treasure it, so thank you Jeremy Haston.

The best part of my day though? When I was busy getting unpainted, my husband made us a healthy breakfast instead of getting fast food which I know he really wanted. I appreciate that he was strong with me and for me as we continue working on healthier eating habits!

So the conclusion, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone is not bad and in fact something you SHOULD do.

It makes life so much more exciting, not to mention colourful!

Think about it!

Epiphany. It’s not what you think..

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Dear Readers, I have been valiantly struggling to get a concept in my acting class. It has eluded me week after week. Ever the diligent student, I watch intently in class, taking copious amounts of notes, and consciously practicing the skill and failing.

Then last night, I got it. It was so clear and all of a sudden like tumblers clicking into place the knowledge was revealed. I wish I could tell you there were blinding lights, choirs of angels singing and a very enthusiastic audience to applaud the moment but I can’t because it wasn’t like that at all.

It’s very quiet when it happens and if you aren’t paying attention you might just miss it.

Notice that I posted when I accomplished it, not when I was struggling? That’s not an accident. I did not know if I would ever really get it, and now that I have it seems easy. Have you ever stopped to think about that? Put another way, Nelson Mandela says “It always seems impossible till it’s done”

It’s done now, so it’s no longer impossible. No one is perfect, and it takes time and energy to get something worth doing right. Think about it!

Take a picture or capture the moment?

TheBossOfBalanceLeave a comment

Take a picture or capture the moment?

Dear readers, I am an unapologetic shutterbug and usually snap a picture a day but recently I realized something important. If you take a picture, you aren’t “in the moment” any more.

Yes, you can put the camera down and get back “in the moment” but the second you “stop to get a picture” something is lost.

I experienced this firsthand at my friend Susie’s wedding. It was beautiful and meaningful and everywhere I looked there was another image I wanted to snap a photo to commemorate the experience but something the rabbi said, “Take a moment to drink in your surroundings” and it got me thinking about how often we DON’T do that in life.

Now, does this mean I am going to stop taking pictures!? Not at all.

Exhibit A- (see photo above) my foot clad in my favourite leopard print pumps and my husband’s injured foot in its orthopedic boot. That photo tells a story about how he was injured and hurting but went anyway to be there for Susie and Victor.

I made a resolution when my niece was born to tale more pictures with my heart and less with my phone. This weekend, I finally realized why it’s important and that makes it a lot easier to do.

The next time you start to take a picture, ask yourself, do I want a picture or do I want to capture a moment?

Think about it!