Author: TheBossOfBalance

Haston Helping Hands- Jenn Haston- Author, Speaker, Activist-Helping People Find Their Balance

Punch fear in the face

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I am a speaker so what I am about to say may be shocking. I asked to do a speech on November 19th many months ago at my Toastmasters club, I was told that I would be put on a list but as it turns out I am not on the list. Until today, apparently a slot just opened up….

I like to speak but tend to practice a little more than a week in advance!! Fear, sweaty palms (even as I type this, and absolute terror because I was confident in the knowledge that I didn’t have to give a speech. It would have been easy for me to decline but I punched fear in the face and decided to say yes, since I do have a week.. but it got me thinking. It would have been far more prudent to have a speech I was working on ready to go (that way I wouldn’t be making it up out of full cloth) but its a learning experience.. and now, to the archives to look up notes and figure out what I am going to talk about next week.

Have you been asked to do something that you weren’t 100% prepared to do? What did you do? Turn it down? Beg off, saying you were busy or did you decide to bite the bullet and muddle through?

The words we use determine the life we live.

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What words do you use to describe yourself?

happy, go-lucky, positive, to name but a few.

But for years, I have also called myself fat, not good with numbers,  or just plain not good enough in general. It’s hard to admit that despite being a very upbeat person I struggle with feelings of insecurity, but I do. Just as someLen reading this might be feeling right now. Just today, I found myself

saying, “I am not a runner” referring to the 5K I am 

walking in next Saturday, but then thought about 

a second and added , “yet”. Because before I walked 3 miles I had to walk one. Before I lost fifty pounds, I had to take a series of smaller steps,which included saying, you “CAN DO THIS” to myself along the way.

So I choose to be my own cheerleader and eliminate as much negativity from my speech as possible!

What words will you say today? Will they empower you to do things that you have never done before?

Will you love yourself with the words you use. Please don’t limit what you are capable of tomorrow by talking badly about yourself today. 

 

Words can lift us or bring us down.

What will your words do? Think about it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Balance is everything.

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I am going to make this short and sweet since I am on a break at work but guess what!!! ITS CHEAT DAY for my diet.

I was questioning myself and wondering if it was a good idea or “okay” to be THIS excited about processed foods including chocolate and cheese consumption that I am going to do today and realized yes, it is! There is balance in everything. For six days, including Halloween, Renaissance Festival, and a pancake breakfast, I have adhered to the paleo way and its been difficult, but not impossible because we have the balance of a long-awaited cheat day. 

I think that the build-up to that of cheating every other day helped me stay true but really, after you make the decision you are working towards a goal, (the aforementioned 50 pounds lost and resulting photo shoot) the discipline required starts to show up in other things too. I am walking in my second 5K in exactly 9 days and this forces me to incorporate exercise in my routine as well as stay true to our paleo way. What are you working towards? What habits and discipline have you found along the way?

 

It’s just one piece of candy…..

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Dear Readers, about a week ago I posted about giving myself grace and getting back to the healthy paleo lifestyle we adopted almost eleven months ago. Just yesterday, as it was Halloween and candy (free candy to be precise) is flying everywhere so I was very tempted to eat it but I realized that just eating one piece would lead to another and then another and then before you know it the whole bag is gone and then you have justified it because its Halloween or its just one day. Well, I submit to you that you can stop the insanity by just saying no and more importantly focusing on why you aren’t eating the candy but are eating other healthy foods in its place. It started out by eliminating soda, not as hard as I thought. Then came chocolate and let me tell you, this girl has never met a chocolate she did not like save dark chocolate.

Part of the thing that appeals to us about this lifestyle choice is not just weight loss but the amazing amounts of energy gained by eating such healthy foods. The other thing that appeals to us is that one day a week, you are allowed to “cheat” .. as previously mentioned this has been more of a daily than a weekly deal for us. I am seeking to change that and over the last two weeks we have done better but are not back to once a week which is the goal. 

For more on paleo and our results. https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/this-is-me-in-june-of-this-year-2013/

So yesterday, when given the chance to eat chocolate and other goodies I didn’t eat them. I thought about it and then realized my healthy living is more important than my immediate and instant gratification of the tasty morsel in my hand. I have had these thoughts before but yesterday I signed up to do a photo shoot for my upcoming 37th birthday and I want to look the best I have ever looked in those upcoming pictures, so now I have “thrown my hat over the wall” I have to do it and yesterday I did eat pizza but I did not eat candy. I am also walking in a 5K on November 16th so will need to be adding exercise back in.

Today, I avoided the free pastry and bagel at work, and I actually feel good about it. I know that I can keep it up if I keep thinking of myself svelte and healthy. The picture I want is the picture I am working toward making possible. Baby steps, baby steps, a little tweak WILL lead to tremendous results over time. Think about it!

Who is fanning the flames of your greatness?

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“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames”- Rumi

My acting class is exposing me to all things artistic, including poetry and new authors. In fact, I did a color by number for the first time ever because of this class, its new and exciting especially since I have never done it before. Also with doing something new, comes frustration with not being perfect immediately. Surely, I am not alone here, but it feels like I am the only one who has ever experienced the agitation of waking of a new part of your brain to work on something and think in a new way, n’est-ce pas?

This week we had a quote from Rumi who I am starting to explore and really enjoying. I love this quote because it embodies so many things I am passionate about. First of all, it speaks to living a life that is not ordinary “set your life on fire”.  Second, and perhaps more important, seeking out people who increase your being, and make sure that you are not seeking those who serve only to extinguish your passion or excitement. As an extremely enthusiastic person, I have allowed my light to be clicked off more times than I care to remember. It hurts most when it comes from those who supposedly love you and have your best interests at heart. At times like this, it is important to remember that you can get support from lots of people but you are the only one capable of making the best decision for you since its your life, not theirs.

A very good friend of mine once said to me, I don’t say “take care” because I don’t want people to take care, I want them to take off and soar!

I invite you to do the same… Soar and soar high and do one thing today that utterly scares you. As of this writing, I have done that for the day.

Be curious. Be patient. Watch what happens!

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Dear Readers, I am taking a class right now that implores that you “be curious and be patient with yourself and others”

It occurred to me this is excellent life advice. Think about it. If you are curious, you are always learning. If you are patient, you lower your heart rate and your level of stress.

For instance, if you have a bad day or are stressed out about how you did at work, you can take the stance of being curious to figure out what you need to do to improve things. Instead of judging yourself for the difficulty, you can be patient with yourself as you learn about what needs to change.

On a personal note, in the last two weeks, I have gained almost 10 pounds due to an excess of eating foods not on our paleo diet. As my nurse friend pointed out, its easy to pack on the pounds when you go off such a strict diet. In the past, I would have shamed myself and tried to hide it or make excuses or feel guilty but now, with the advent of this advice, I am finding myself to be more patient with myself and forgiving the cheating and have a renewed vigor to resume the lifestyle choice of paleo, and give myself some grace for the past. To be clear, this is not license to continue the cheating, this is an acknowledgment that this is something I am still working on, just like the rest of life, we are all evolving and moving to whatever our next level is going to be. So I implore you, be curious and be patient. The results will surprise you. Think about it! 

Customer Service Appreciation Week

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What can you do to celebrate? Say “Happy Customer Service Week” to someone. This morning as I was getting my gas I did that and the smile that came back was lovely.

Thank anyone you know in the service industry, whether they are a server, host, hostess, or customer support representative. There are legions of other people that qualify, just think about it, your bank, your doctor, your dentist. The list goes on and on.

As someone who has spent most of her working years in customer service I can testify that it is hard work but extremely rewarding.  I am so glad that there is a week to recognize the efforts of this segment of the working public.

In 1992….and here is the excerpt where President Bush signed the proclamation. “The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 166, has designated the week of October 4 through October 10, 1992, as “National Customer Service Week” and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this week. NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the week of October 4 through October 10, 1992, as [http://www.csweek.com/ National Customer Service Week]. I invite all Americans to observe this week with appropriate programs and activities. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this eighth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and ninety-two, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and seventeenth. George Bush”

 

brush. floss. rinse. REPEAT

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There is one thing that everyone is embarrassed to talk about or deal with openly.

In hopes that it will help just one of my readers with their own issue, I am going to address one of mine.

I have horrible teeth. I went to the dentist this morning and dreaded it, (like I always do) but was pleasantly surprised to find that my teeth are on the mend and do not need further bridges, fillings and what not. For more background on the past, see this post.

https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/flying-in-the-teeth-of-failure/

But with so many things that we are afraid to talk about or address, the first step is admitting that there IS in fact an issue. I had to get over the fact that just brushing once a week wasn’t going to cut it. I have spent almost $7000.00 over the last three years correcting that oversight along with feeling a large amount of shame that I had the issue in the first place.

Its hard to get excited about paying that much money for something people don’t really see. I realized I had to get serious, so after my last appointment and having the hygienist show me how to properly do the things that are needed for a healthy mouth I am proud to report that after six solid months of flossing, brushing and rinsing daily (sometimes twice) I have a healthy mouth. 

In case you didn’t know, here is a 3 minute video about how to floss

How to floss- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfLOgPzwny4

And to follow that, here is a how to on how to brush

In efforts to motivate myself (and others) I spoke to my dentist about some far-reaching effects of bad dental health and he told me it can extend even to having problems with your health up to and including your heart. So think about it, if you don’t take proper care of your teeth, you could die. Yes, that is a MAJOR exaggeration but the point shouldn’t be lost on you.

In his words, “It’s better to do maintenance than repair” If I could, I would have that tattoo placed on the roof of my mouth!

So after reading this, you say to yourself, I probably need to schedule my cleaning for this week, then I have done my job.

If I have made you think about something else you aren’t so keen on discussing, well that’s good too.

Think about it!

 

You only have now.

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You only have now.

I can not think of a better metaphor for time passing than this picture to the left.

On our brief getaway to Corpus Christi, My husband painstakingly used the umbrella to draw out our initials and the date and was admiring his handiwork (and I was looking for the best angle to take a picture) as the tide washed it away. He drew it again and we were much faster with the camera this time.
At the time, I laughed and thought it was funny. But upon further reflection, I thought. what would you do right now, if you knew the tide was coming to wash it away.

Perception is everything.

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Perception is everything.

Dear readers, until a few months ago I called myself fat. I do not do this anymore, okay that isn’t really true. I correct myself when I do say it but its a correction after years of lots of negative self-talk.

I have been thinking of myself as fat for most of my life but really truly, I am not. This picture was taken just before my ninth grade homecoming dance. I remember thinking that thought it wasn’t blue, I really liked the dress and it was a fun evening and I got to buy new shoes and my hair done and it was the first time I started to feel a little bit grown-up.

I have spent most of my life thinking of myself as fat but I am really, truly not. I feel the need to say it at least twice here because of how many millions of times have I said to myself that I am.

Now my husband has been saying to me for years (5 to be precise) that I am beautiful and I have had to really struggle to not set aside his praise as prejudice.

What do you say about you that isn’t true? What can you say today to start turning that around?