Author: TheBossOfBalance

Haston Helping Hands- Jenn Haston- Author, Speaker, Activist-Helping People Find Their Balance

You are awesome. You don’t need to act like you are.

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One of my favourite shows that is no longer on television (common when you watch Netflix) is called “The West Wing” and one of the reasons is that all of the characters are fully drawn and are chock-full of nuance and erudite dialogue but sometimes their best messages are the simplest ones.

As evidenced by the episode “Hartsfields Landing” and this dialogue as spoken by the Communications Director, Toby Ziegler to the President about how you are already awesome, you don’t need to act like it. Sorkin does dialogue better than I do right now, so here is the dialogue from that scene-

“You’re a good father, you don’t have to act like it. You’re the President,
you don’t have to act like it. You’re a good man, you don’t have to act like it. You’re
not just folks, you’re not plain-spoken… Do not do not do not act like it!”

Substitute the appropriate and specific qualities and then say it about yourself.

Because it bears repeating, you are awesome. Do not, do not, do not ACT like it!

 

Your time is valuable. What are you doing with it?

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Hello dear readers. First of all, thank you for reading my blog, I know it takes valuable time out of your day to read it. I recently realized how much I was actually doing in a given week and said, “whoa!” and it made me think, how many other people are doing this and not aware of it.

What you care about shows up in your checkbook and your calendar. When I look at my checkbook, always a fun topic that everyone is willing to discuss, right? (wink) I see that most of our financial portfolio is tied up in food and shelter and debt repayment which I guess is normal and its not forever. We are actively paying down our debt and will be out of debt in three years (hopefully less) but I digress.

What I really needed to look at was my calendar and take stock there. I made several goals this year to work on my face to face time with friends, read more books and work on coaching and speaking as it is something I feel I am meant to do. So to that end, I was doing the following:

1. I was going to Toastmasters every week and speaking there about once a month.

2. I was seeing friends about once a week.

3. I was working two jobs, really three with the coaching.

What is missing? I wasn’t doing anything for my marriage.  Sad to say it is true, and while it was pride swallowing to admit, I actively started to make plans with my husband first and everyone else second and third and fourth and so on. So far its working for me and my hope is that if you are reading this, you don’t need this wake up call, but then again maybe you do.

I would love to say I just woke up and figured it out one day but it was actually another blog I read about “Intentional Marriage Method” not her words but mine after reading her post “4 Ways to Fall Asleep More In Love”.
http://thenewwifestyle.com/?s=4+ways+to+fall+asleep+more

We are all busy, the question is what are you busy doing?

Work, Life, and Who are you?

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Recently, I was career coaching a client and I had an epiphany.

Your resume is not just a cold recitation of what you have done and learned. It’s an opportunity to help your potential employer understand who they are hiring not just the skills that they are looking for but the personality type which allows them to not only see that you are qualified for the job, but that you will fit the team culture.

So I came up with five basic tips for resumes. Ready? Here we go!

1. Make sure it has no typos or formatting issues.

2. Include work that you have done for non-profit or volunteer:

Some of the hardest work I have done has been for free.

3. Have a profile on Linked In, and be sure to seek out recommendations from co-workers.

4. This is time to brag, do not be shy about your accomplishments.

5. Categorize your experience in a way that helps you be found.

Make sure you have several different types of resumes. e.g.  you might have a phone work resume, a sales based resume, and a management resume. It really depends on your individual experience.

Beef up your resume. You might just surprise yourself with all you have done.

Not failing. Experimenting!

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The following statement seems like a cop-out or an excuse but it’s the pure unvarnished truth.

You do not fail in life. You experiment and try things and sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. I tried being a sales person for a computer company and that experiment did not go well. I understand computers but not how best to sell them, took me almost a year to admit that was a failed experiment. I experimented with running and found it not for me. I prefer walking. I experimented with spicy foods and despite being a native of New Orleans, failed to find my appreciation for them. I experimented with cooking and found I prefer my husband do it. (he is better at it and I really don’t enjoy it).

But you know what, if I hadn’t tried running, I wouldn’t have discovered that I love to walk for exercise. If I hadn’t tried to sell, I would not have discovered that I prefer customer service to sales. and so on and so forth. So the next time you start to tell yourself you are a failure.. Stop and say, “Back off man, I am a scientist” instead!  All movie quotes aside, there is a lot of power in the words we use. So say, I am experimenting and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

As a wise friend said to me many times. What do you want? What are you doing to get it? How is that working for you?

Judge me not, lest ye be judged

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Matthew 7:1, “Judge not that ye be not judged.

First of all, according to my quick google study, this is one of the most misquoted bible verses ever, most people think its “Judge not, lest ye be judged” but its really, “Judge not that ye be not judged” so if you really think about it, it is saying don’t judge others and then you yourself can be assured of not being judged. Ah, if only it were really true.

It is really not like me to post a blog with a bible verse but I have gotten to thinking a lot about judgment (pause as I double check the spelling) because I have been doing a lot of it. Nothing overt, nothing that would really get me into trouble per se, but making up my mind about a situation before I knew all the facts and if I had just waited a few minutes, hours or days things would have been made clear to me. I am not deliberately being obtuse, the details of what I am describing are personal and I don’t plan to share them. Just focus on you for now. If you need an example, how about the panhandler on the side of the road at the red light, do you look at him/her and think, you look able-bodied, why don’t you get a job? Or do you think about the suffering they must be going through and how hard it is to ask for help? Now let’s take it to a more personal level, do judge your friends by the house they have, the car they drive or their seemingly “well off” lifestyle or do you think about it as just another aspect of who they are which is part and parcel of your friendship?

I am not saying one or the other is right, I am just asking you to think about it!

Introduction to -Jennifer Haston Says

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My hope is that when reading my blog you are able to get a sense of who I am, but for those wondering here are the Cliff notes.

I am a 36 year old woman who is actively seeking opportunities to help people follow their dreams. It is a lofty goal but I have always aimed high. My heritage is Irish-French which means that I have a hot temper and a romantic heart. I am from New Orleans but do not like spicy foods. I love all kinds of music from ABBA to ZZ Top and will listen to anything once to try it out. I especially love 1980’s rock, and care not who knows it. 

 

I have lived in Austin, Texas for over 15 years and while I don’t consider myself a Texan, its definitely home to me and my husband. I do not own a pair of boots, but have several hats.

I am a wife. 

I am a friend, aunt, and cousin,

I am a personal coach and a motivational speaker.

I am a singer, actor and director.

In the last year, my husband and I have been on the paleo diet and lost over 100 pounds, (him 65, me 55) (if interested in more information on that) see this website http://www.thepaleomom.com/

I have been starting to help my husband cook some of those recipes but not full time cooking as yet. In truth, he is better at it than I am and I am humble enough to admit it.

I believe in God but won’t beat you over the head with my spiritual self. I was raised Catholic and my current denomination like my life, is “in process”.  I like to read, talk, and watch movies. I like having coffee or tea to socialize. I love my phone but I abhor the text messaging that is rampant in our culture. I honestly think it is ending the art of conversation as we know it. As I highly prize conversation, this troubles me.

My politics, well that is still developing. I am ashamed to admit I still have a lot to learn before I can comment or more specifically write about the political climate in which we live. I always say when learning, “be a sponge” and that is what I am actively engaged in at the moment.

My husband is the love of my life and we work very hard at our marriage and I value it highly.

I am opinionated and passionate and have no patience for people who settle for less than the best of what life has to offer. 

It is my hope to inspire at least one person per day to stretch beyond their comfort zone.

My goal is to inspire millions to do that, but one step at a time. 🙂

Maybe I can help YOU, reach out to me here if I can: jennifermckennasays@gmail.com

Make a difference. Right where you are…

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Friends, I have to tell you I am extremely passionate about making a difference and helping others realize their dreams and if you are reading this, chances are you are one of three types of people.

1. Friend of mine who reads my blog because you have been asked to. (thanks!)

2. Someone who I gave a card to and you are checking out the blog address on the back (thanks)

3. Someone who is searching for “motivation and advice” and so my blog comes up in your search as something you should read (thanks!)

For whatever reason, you have been directed to my blog, my podium and soapbox for all things I am passionate about and the list is legion.

However, back to you, my gentle reader who is the reason I write. I was recently lucky enough to be exposed to a wonderful podcast all about making a difference right where you are which I think is a wonderful notion. I can’t speak for anyone else but I can tell you I often say to myself, “well, when I am (speaking professionally) (have more experience) (have my masters) (have my new position) (FILL IN THE BLANK with your perfect state of being) I will have such wonderful things to say on that topic and I can’t wait to help people” well the truth is I have everything I need to help people (if they need it) right now. All I have to do is listen and make myself available to be there for someone who needs help. It sounds simple because it is.

The truth is, that you have opportunities every day to help people. I am not talking about money, but occasionally 20.00 can make a real difference to someone struggling. You can offer to spend time reading to someone who can’t read, you can listen to someone who desperately needs to talk, you can just sit there silently and smile as they vent because that might be what they need.

You can be there in many ways for other people, all you have to do is look around. I have recently started asking successful people their best practices for how they got there and the thing that continues to come up is a generous spirit and a loving heart.

Here is the podcast from my friend, Tammy Helfrich who has inspired many people and continues to do so daily. She has interviews with people like Jon Acuff and many others.

http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/2013/07/01/right-where-you-are-introduction-podcast-episode-01/

I leave you with this question. Are you waiting to help people? Why?

Stop Worrying. Its interest on a debt that never comes due….

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I subscribe to a service called “Thoughts Become Things. Choose the good ones. Technically its called http://www.tut.com (Notes from the Universe) and what I love about this site is that occasionally because of goals I input into the website way back when “getting out of debt” or more specifically, “have financial harmony including balance” I get a message that has a specific message that is addressed to me, Jennifer and asks how that goal is going. I have recommended this website to many people because to me, its a B-12 shot of positivity for my day and there are days when the nugget of wisdom really hits home. Today was such a day.

The things that mystify you, Jennifer, need not worry you.

It’s a kind of mental check-up, and I like it. This tag line at the bottom of today’s message really spoke to me and I decided to blog about it because I tell people all the the time not to worry and to focus their energy on what you CAN do instead of worrying about what is to come or not to come yet I often do not take my own advice. Le sigh

Take me for example, I spent the better part of last week and weekend worrying about a confrontation with a really close friend and when the topic actually came up, it was no big deal. The reality was that when I dealt with it (duh) it was already solved but the information had not been imparted yet. I find that people deal better with issues if you have already worked on it and present the problem with a proposed answer, this is true in business and true in friendship.

So do yourself a favor, worry less and take action more. Think about it!

Wave it forward, will ya?

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I was driving home in rush-hour tonight and navigating the methodical stop and go flow of traffic and despite numerous allowances by me to other drivers,  (6) I received not one wave of courtesy. I do not expect a wave every time, but usually on a typical day I can count on one or two. Not one. This put me into a foul mood. I have no rational reason to be upset, those other drivers very well could have been unaware of the driving benevolence I bestowed… but come one.. not ONE?

I know that the opinions on this vary greatly but since this is my blog I will go ahead and put mine forth here and now. Its pretty simple. When in doubt of whether a wave is needed, wave.

I have a theory that the world would be a nicer place if we all waved at each other in traffic when a favor is done for you. I know it seems like a small thing and quite the far-fetched theory but stick with me. If you pay it forward, by buying someone’s cofffe in the drive thru behind you (try it sometime, its tons of fun and not too much moola) you don’t do that in the hopes that someone else will do it for you, you do it because its a random act of kindness and it makes you feel good and likely makes someone else feel good and before you know it we have a ripple effect of everyone in the world being nice to each other and people smiling instead of frowning.

Now its acknowledged that traffic is unpleasant and sitting in it mind-numbingly dull and the tendency toward quick tempers being riled is high. So, the next time you are in traffic and you need to “get over” even if you think you have plenty of room and the driver behind you didn’t “really need to go out of their way to let you in” wave it forward, will ya?

What are some things that get you steaming mad?

What do you do to cool off?

What is your prferred method 5 miles over, 5 miles under or just at the speed limit?