Category: Uncategorized

Dear Readers,

 

This is a picture of something some people did for me around Christmas and it was a small gesture.. (they had NO way of knowing how much it meant as I was having a particularly rough Christmas season) and it REALLY helped me to soldier through that day.

I love the idea of Pay it Forward and this morning, I paid for someone’s latte (I think).. I didn’t ask what it was.. I just paid for it.

The point of this is not to brag on me, but to inspire you to do something altruistic and something that sends a ripple of “nice” out to the rest of the population.

I enjoy thinking that my small act put a smile on someone’s face, and perhaps led them to have a nice start to their day.. Maybe the rest of their day was better because it started off on a good note.. or maybe they are a sourpuss determined to have a truly awful day and they saw my act as hostile… I choose to believe the former, and having that outlook allows me to live a happier life. The most important thing about paying it forward as they say in the movie.. I love this movie..the idea is that you do something nice for someone who can’t pay you back.. with the idea that they pay it forward and make the world a little nicer for someone else… What can you do that would help someone else smile today?

 

 

 

Think About It!

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Readers,

Howdy from the beaches of Destin, Florida. That is right, I am posting on vacation. I struggled with it for a bit but ultimately decided that I had something important to say this week. It’s about the need most of us feel to constantly post pictures of our lives and sometimes I think it gets the better of us, well me. I have made a conscious effort on this vacation to post a few pictures but not everything. It’s hard because this is a great time in my life. We are debt-free, I am 19 weeks pregnant (this is a picture of me saying- “wow, I really am pregnant!) and married to the love of my life. I just got a great promotion and raise, so why wouldn’t I want to document every single second?

Simply put, if you are taking a picture and focusing on that perfect angle and caption, are you really living in your moment?
As an actor and an artist, I have a responsibility to myself to “fill up” which means keeping some things private and not sharing everything. A concept lost on many in our “overshare” society.

Does this mean that you shouldn’t take pictures at all?

Of course not! What I am suggesting is thinking about “why” you are taking that picture and “why” you feel the need to post it.

Something we are doing on this trip is taking pictures but not posting them right away or at all.

But the “thinking” of “why” and “when” is causing us to “check” ourselves and help us enjoy our vacation and by extension live more than we post.

Think about it!

 

 

Dear Readers,

Last night at our Toastmaster meeting, the theme was fear and we had some really great like Ted-Talk caliber speeches about the topic. Some of them were even in the table topics section. It reminded me how important it is to spread the message far and wide. Fear is a liar and thief. When you worry, it steals time from you.. When fear tells you “it’s too late” it will also lie and tell you, “You are too young” or “You are too old”.. the list goes on.. I am sure you can think of some new and different ways to express those fears that hide in the dark. I heard a great speaker, Jon Acuff, discuss this in his book, “START” and while this is not an ad for his book, the message is incredibly important and what I took away from it is the idea that you shouldn’t judge your start by someone else’s middle…

I wish I had written this list that someone posted on Facebook but it’s just such a good list I have to pass it on. I can NOT stop thinking about it… so g about it so decided it would be the focal point of my post today. So in conclusion, I say, feel the fear and do it anyway, as was mentioned in our meeting last night, “Jump and the net will appear”

“At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.

At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.

At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.

Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51.

Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.

Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.

Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52.

Kathryn Bigelow reached international success after making The Hurt Locker at age 57.

Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76.

Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. It’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow.

Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.
Never tell yourself you missed your chance.
Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.
You can do it. Whatever it is.-“

I want to give credit where it is due- Here is the blog that I got this from today-

https://runningfromadventure.wordpress.com/

Thanks Drew, through the magic of the internet, I now know about you, and

am following your blog.

So back to my words, Fear is a liar, a thief and a cheat.. Don’t let it win..

DO WHAT YOU FEAR MOST and CONQUER IT!

Think about it……

 

 

Dear Readers!

My good buddy and fellow blogger, Chelsea does a post on Fridays that is called “Tell Me Something Good” (hearing Chaka Khan now in your head? I Know.. it’s awesome!) In case you are not.. Here you go! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR–nDR88b0

Here is Chelsea’s Post-

http://thenewwifestyle.com/tell-something-good-neighborly/

But back to my high! My fabulous and wonderful friend Dr. Keya Howard is getting married this weekend and I can’t believe it! Not only do I get to be there, I get to be her bridesmaid and to my fellow Toastmasters, I am actually really excited to be asked to give a toast. Believe it or not, I have been in Toastmasters almost 16 years and this will only be my third wedding toast!

Beyond being in the presence of her greatness and sweetness for 12 years, it reminds me of how that friendship started and it still kind of blows my mind. She was a receptionist at Apple (where I worked way back when) and on my way to cafe I asked if she wanted some french fries.. (I used to be a receptionist and I know that you don’t often get to walk away from your desk and if you take a lunch it’s usually abbreviated) she said yes and when I brought them back to her and we started talking about this and that and then I had to go back to work but the contact had been made and we started coming by each other’s desks and just talking.. then I asked her out to see a movie which is a very big deal. It’s not a test but (okay, who am I kidding, it’s totally a test) .. If you like the movie I pick, it means we have more in common and there is more to build on.. etc etc.. we went to the Alamo Drafthouse and saw “I Heart Huckabees” which if you have not seen it, I recommend it, it’s a quirky, existential movie with Jude Law and Dustin Hoffman, and Lily Tomlin. We bonded over it and a great friendship was born.

It’s been said about me, and by me that I collect people, not things, I think that is true..

This friendship story is one of many that I could tell about how people come to be in my “people collection”— but the thing I am most struck by is how easy it was to start something….one contact, followed by several others…. however, sustaining it over miles, time zones, (she lived in Switzerland at one point!!) weeks, months and years.. that is the real accomplishment. My darling doctor, if you are reading this, know how much I love and cherish you and am so PROUD to call you friend!

Think About It….

Dear Readers,

I am not a “go with the flow” kind of woman. Allow me to illustrate.

When I moved from New Orleans to Austin, I had an apartment and a job before I put one foot in a moving truck. (Never mind that my car broke down on the way here and I had to take a bus from Mount Pleasant, Texas to Austin) 

I meticulously planned our wedding within an inch of it’s life.  (Never mind that many, many things did not go according to that plan) 

If I have a new place I need to drive, I ALWAYS do a trial run. (Never mind that I still sometimes get lost) 

So to say I like to organize and plan is really an understatement.

But after being pregnant for 16 weeks (today!) I am beginning to realize that NOTHING is going to go according to plan, and we can plan all we want to.. but in observing my very organized friends who are parents (you know who you are!) I watch them have to “flex” and “change” all the time.. so I guess I need to think about that being something to adopt.

As you can see,  in looking back at all those events, some “going with the flow” was required and it’s important to note, the planning was NOT infallible so I suppose “flow” is not all bad and in anticipation of becoming a parent, the adoption of some “flow” wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Think about it…… 

 

Dear Readers,

For a long time now I have been actively seeking a healthier lifestyle, I eat mostly healthy food, I exercise and I drink a lot of water.

Of late, this has become even more important as I am growing a human inside my belly. It still boggles my mind to type that. The optimum diet is best for a healthy baby and I know that with my head..but then emotion takes over and the minute things get a little stressful, I run to Taco Bell and indulge the impulse to eat food that is not only unhealthy but contains lots of high fructose corn syrup which continues the cycle.. the more you eat, the more you want.. and it also has a property in it that doesn’t tell you when you are full which is even more fun!

So in talking to my Mom, who is very wise, we discussed it rationally  and logically and she pointed out a few things to try when encountering the impulse.

1. When you get a craving, why do you have it? Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? HALT..Stop and think about it! Be intentional.
2. If you get the impulse to go eat something not very healthy think about it and try to hold of for at least 20 minutes while thinking of all the rationalizations for eating the not so great food.
3. My doctor has said that the most weight I should gain for the baby is 10 pounds so it is my responsibility as a mom in the making to do the right thing for the baby.
4. Pregnancy weight is easy to gain, hard to take off
5. Begin with the end in mind. My end goal is to model healthy behavior for my child. That means that I need to have healthy habits myself that she can emulate

 

All this is NOT to say that there will not be times when I eat cake and chocolate and yes, even Taco Bell.. I know that I will give in to the impulse but at this point, I am trying hard to “THINK” before I “EAT”

I think it’s just as important to discuss the struggle as it is to discuss the triumph so right now I am celebrating the fact that I didn’t eat Taco Bell or other fast food for lunch today.

Think about it!

Dear Readers,

If you are anything like me, you spend a good amount of time worrying despite the fact that as the saying goes, “Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due”- I have gotten decidedly better about this but it is still a struggle to not constantly worry. I used to worry that my relationship with my boyfriend (now husband) would all of a sudden fall apart and the “other shoe would drop” and then I would see the “Real him” but guess what? there was no other shoe. We definitely have our problems, but we work very hard to solve them and I don’t worry about “the other shoe” anymore.

This post is about the fact that while I am 14 weeks pregnant and very happy to be so, I am still worried about things that can go wrong. I have seen the picture ^^^ Hi baby! and I definitely feel tired and there are some cravings (peanut butter and a constant need for milk) but other than that, there aren’t yet visible signs of my being with child. Several people I have told that I am pregnant were far more excited than I was and I couldn’t put my finger on why. By the way, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with any level of excitement, as it is MY pregnancy and how I FEEL will be how I FEEL and feelings are not bad or good, they just are.  That took me almost 25 years to learn but it’s a very important thing to remember.

Back to my lack of enthusiasm (which is truly out of character for me) and the abundance of worry… I was troubled by this for a while but realized after a conversation with my Mom that it is a natural part of the process of being pregnant. Can you say emotional? Can you say hormonal? Especially because we were pregnant before and at 5 and 1/2 weeks, March 10, 2015, we had a miscarriage and I lost the baby. I am being very careful to use specifics like. “miscarriage” and “lost the baby” because its really important to use the words that describe what happened. That is as horrible as it sounds and I am having a difficult time typing through the tears because though I am pregnant now, that was a hard loss for us.

I went through the five stages of grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. It looks extremely clinical when you read it in black and white there but I want to tell you it was anything but that, There is no particular order to those stages and you can find yourself in a few at the same time, and its not a predictable schedule. I would go from being totally “okay” to “utter basket case” – I had supportive family of choice members, as well as very close friends who did a great job of listening and taking care to just “be there” which is an underrated skill, believe me.

It has taken me this long to talk about it, but I knew even in the midst of the pain I was feeling both physical and emotional that I WOULD eventually talk about it. The more I discussed it with people, the more I found out how common it is. 7 out of 10 women have had miscarriages and it doesn’t get talked about a lot. I guess because it isn’t the cheeriest topic, but as a speaker and definitely as a woman, I felt like it was something that I SHOULD talk about no matter how difficult.

It was actually my wonderful and supportive husband who first floated the idea by me on a particularly weepy night in May when I told him I was having a really hard time getting past it and he suggested it might be cathartic to give a speech about it. So we did, It was well received and my hope is that if you are reading this and have been through something similar, that you take heart, and find comfort in the fact that there is hope and there is support. If you haven’t had a miscarriage but know someone who has and you think it will help them, please share this with them.  Here is the speech- I am still a little scared to share, but the vulnerability of others is how we progress, right?

I think we could all stand to be a bit more open about the struggles we face in life. Who knows? Your struggle could inspire someone else to keep fighting the good fight.

Think about it……

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Readers, My family of choice is so dear to me, and I would not trade them for anything, especially given my horrible, no good family of origin. As for my family of origin, I will say this for them, they brought me into the world and I thank them for that.

Sometimes I get really mad when I think about how much they weren’t there, didn’t support me, didn’t love me the way I deserve to be loved. Sometimes I hate that I care about people who don’t deserve it.

But then my cheery disposition takes over, and then I am grateful I that I do. It means I am capable of feeling more than they EVER did, which ultimately means I loved them deeper than they will ever love me. I am better off because I learned to love only those who deserve it. 

If you find yourself in a similar situation, Feel what you feel,(the pain, the anger, the sadness) but KNOW this, you are stronger for the choice you made to leave and love yourself.

Think about it…….

 

 

 

Dear Readers, today’s post is dedicated to those who are afraid to try something.

Stop being afraid and do it. RIGHT NOW! Start that run, book or blog post you have been toying with doing.. What is the worst that could happen? You would fall?

Maybe, but my darling.. what if you fly? 

In thinking back on some of the scarier moments of my life, I have to admit they are followed by some of the most exciting.

I moved to Austin from New Orleans the summer of 1997 and while it was very scary and other than a job and an a one bedroom apartment I didn’t have a friend in the world, it was very exciting to be on my own for the first time- Scary and I definitely made mistakes.. (using my credit card to get into thousands of dollars of debt springs to mind as one)

I worked right after high school before attending college and that was mostly by necessity, because it turns out I didn’t have a magical college fund (don’t you hate it when life is NOT like the movies?) and had to work to earn some money before going to school. I started Austin Community College in January of 1999 and I actually looked forward to going to class, I was paying for it so I was absolutely motivated to go and do well. I asked tons of questions and learned so much in every class even the ones I was less inclined to enjoy.

In 2007, I was asked to stage manage my first show by a dear friend who trusted me to handle it.. Her famous words to me were “You are incredibly organized so I know you can handle this” and little did I know that a few years later, this very valuable experience would lead me to directing several of my own shows.  Scared? yes. Did I do it anyway? You bet!

In 2014, I lost 50 pounds by using the paleo diet and to mark the milestone I planned a glamorous photo shoot and when I did the dry run and growing increasingly more freaked out…frantically went through the costume closet…  I found out… “you will be wearing a swimsuit, because it’s the only thing we have in your size” – At first I was pretty mad, after all I lost weight doesn’t that mean more options should be available? This was not the case, so I looked around for a other outfits and panicked thinking.. how can I wear a swimsuit.. but eventually (due to advice from my Mom and several of my mutually sexy friends) decided to go for it and I must say it was very exciting to me how good I did look. Being scared didn’t stop me and I can tell you it wound up being an incredibly edifying experience. For more on that you can read this post:

https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/former-fat-girl-to-pin-up/

When an opportunity came for me to do a workshop for 120 people as a professional coach and speaker I was 100% not ready to do it.. but I said to myself… Do it. you will never feel ready to do it but jump in and say you will. Doing that built my confidence even more and I can honestly say, I was not ready.. not even close.. but I got there..

So back to you, gentle reader, is there something that you want to do, have always wanted to do and just feel scared, intimidated and NOT READY? I have bad news and good news.

 

Bad News- You will never FEEL ready.

Good News- You can choose to do it anyway…

Think about it….

Dear Readers,

When I was singing with my church on Monday, during first Monday prayer (which is a totally awesome event that my church does once a month, its a time for us to gather and pray and we all sit and pray and sing songs.. I love it.

Can I tell you a secret? I used to hate it, because I felt like everyone else’s prayers were more eloquent than mine and so I would strive to be more descriptive and impressive until Monday night. I sang the songs and then when it was time to pray, I said aloud exactly what was on my heart. I didn’t care about impressing anyone.. truly.  That is scary and liberating at the same time. I could definitely stand to read my bible more but the praying thing is a step in the right direction. This post is not about me and how well I pray or even how well you pray.. It is about the idea that you do pray.

When you want for something, if you don’t ask for it, how do you expect to get it? I am not saying God is like a genie in a bottle and you rub that lamp and bam its done.. no. Prayer does not work like that. I have had some experience with this. I have prayed for “patience” in the past and God does not give it to you in a beautifully wrapped package with a brightly colored bow.. It tends to be a bedraggled box that you see on the side of the road that through your gain of that gift becomes the asset you seek. It looks different for everyone so watch for it.

Whether you believe in God or not, whether you are guided by the Universe or Karma, I think its a worthwhile thing to meditate, or pray or contemplate what your purpose in life actually is. Also, there is no one right way to pray or do any of the above. 

I think something that has been weighing on my heart and mind of late is to stop all the busyness. It is often looked at as a badge of honor (and I have certainly said it) “I am sorry I have been too busy to call, write, text, visit, (fill in the blank)” — It doesn’t help that social media lends itself to keeping us in the loop of liking and commenting but not CONNECTING with each other.

So the question I have is.. when saying that.. ask yourself, what are you busy doing?

Are you living the life you want to live? Spending time with the people you want to spend with? Or are you spending time on activities and people that are toxic and don’t add to you or your goals? Really think about that the next time you start to make an excuse for your
“busy”… What are you “busy” doing?

Think About It….