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Dear Readers,

I have a reputation for being a perky Pollyanna which is deserved but there are times when even this “turn your smile upside down” girl struggles to keep it happy.

Today is one of these times. I heard two Ted Talks back to back about how we are failing our young women by continuing to hold an ideal standard to them as “the” way to be. Specifically there are teenage girls posting pictures of themselves on the internet and begging to be judged “Am I pretty” and the comments back are vicious and unkind.This makes me sad and angry because its completely avoidable. The teen should not have to post pictures to get feedback from strangers. She should be able to get this from family and failing that friends and teachers.

One of these talks started out by saying there was a time when we were children that we loved ourselves so much that we blew kisses to the mirror, thoroughly pleased by what we saw and the thing I am writing about today is why and when did it stop. When do we stop loving ourselves “just as we are” no qualifiers or “if only” statements. I have made great strides in this area in just the last year and I am 37 so I will admit to a major struggle with this. Even today, as I write this, I took a picture earlier that my immediate thought was, “ugh, look at my legs”  but I am posting it anyway because that is what I see. I don’t know what everyone else sees. It comes down to perspective. My husband would say, “that is my gorgeous wife” Joan Ellen would likely say, “that’s my girl, all grown up”.. so what exactly is my problem? What standard am I holding myself to? The answer is nothing. I don’t have a comparable person to compare myself to because I am me and no one else can be me.

All this self-reflection makes me stop and think, when was the last time I fully loved myself (besides the pin up photo shoots) and blew kisses in the mirror? I certainly never did that, but I do remember when I had a new dress and I was quite pleased with myself. It was velvet and green and had matching ribbon and I remember twirling in front of the mirror and saying “whee” — I think we could all stand to say “whee” more. It’s kind of silly but heading to my treadmill last night, I blew a kiss to myself in the mirror and plan to do more of that, I think we could all stand to love ourselves more.

Think about it!

Dear Readers, I am ashamed to admit it, but I love my IPhone…..

I have a checkered past when it comes to technology. I never really liked it much until the day I got my IPhone. I was working for Apple at the time June 29, 2007 and got it for free (my favourite word) and was all set to sell it as passage for my trip to France but just a few clicks of the button I saw how intuitive it was and how easy it was to use to check email and facebook and of course stay in touch with my nearest and dearest and it was fait accompli, and quell dommage, I did not make that trip but I had made a new friend.

It sounds weird and feels even weirder to call your phone your friend but how else can you explain the sorrow I felt Monday when upon trying to charge my phone getting a red lightning bolt and it felt hot to the touch and no charge to boot which means the phone doesn’t work. Let me say that again, it doesn’t work, which means you can’t call or email or facebook or tweet or use a GPS to get places or look up your calendar to see what you are scheduled to do!

I am suddenly and acutely aware how much I use the phone to plan my day and get from point A to point B and to stay in touch. I do a fair bit of troubleshooting in my day to day life so I will tell you I tried several things. I tried taking the Kermit case off, and getting the charger more firmly seated and then turning it off all night – I also held it against the vent of my air conditioner to cool it off and then trying to charge it and that seemed to work but as soon as I took it off the charger it dropped from 100 to 68 and 31 and 24 and 2. A truly disheartening moment as you realize you are back to square one after 10 minutes!

So I took it to the Apple Store where the “geniuses” (even when I worked for Apple, I thought that was a LOT of pressure to put on one person) told me my battery is toast. I do not qualify for an upgrade as I did not buy the extended warranty. At the time, that seemed like a good call, as I pocketed the extra money and simply spent the 50.00 on my upgrade from Iphone3 to Iphone4s … way after it came out because let’s be clear here, I am NOT an early adopter and the idea of moving to a 5 doesn’t appeal to me let alone a 6. They said I need a new battery but it will take an hour to install, I don’t have that kind of time and I say I will come back another day.

I had to marvel at the irony as we all sat patiently at the tables waiting for our diagnosis (we make it sound so serious too!)  all the people with broken Ipad and Iphonage all were talking to each other, not texting, tweeting, facebooking zombies so as a fan of socializing that made me happy and it also caused an epiphany in me. Despite taking a few “unplugged” days off in July, I am rarely without my phone. That is a sobering thought, how much of my life am I missing because I am posting about it. I think I am more mindful than most but could always stand to improve in this arena.

So moving forward, I will seek to plug in more to people not my devices.

Think about it……..

Dear Readers,

I am delighted to tell you that I had an audition! I know that I should be ever so cool about it and not mention it but that just isn’t me and I don’t think it ever will be.

I am an actress so an audition “should” be old hat to me.  In fact it is not, nothing could be further from the truth.

Every time I have an audition, I am reminded it is not up to me whether I am cast or not. I am like all other artists, full-time auditioner and part-time player. When you run the numbers that is an easy equation to follow. Living in the hope of getting the part is very exciting and I wish I could capture that feeling, that adrenaline rush I feel after an audition is over and it went well but even more exciting, is the idea that I could be cast! Now, I wait in anticipation……. and you get to wait with me cause I don’t have a tidy end to this post.

Dear Readers, When I was younger. say 16 or so, I thought about who I would marry. I wanted to marry several successful actors and foreign diplomats (love to travel) including Scott Bakula mainly because I figured as his wife, I would get to be a guest star on “Quantum Leap”. At the time, I did not realize that things don’t work that way in the business but I digress.

I did not marry Scott Bakula, have not even met him (yet) but the reason he comes to mind is I was thinking about time travel and if you had told the me of 11 years ago that I would
be melted by a man doing my laundry I would have laughed in your face. I had dreams of far-flung exotic getaways, french novels and chocolate, lots of fancy Belgian chocolate because it was so far afield of my real-life experience.

Instead, I married the man who does my laundry, goes to five stores to buy me fudge rounds because I barely mention that I want them but most importantly prizes my happinesss far above his own which he shows in little and large ways every day.
He learned how to make gumbo paleo so I could still eat it. He wrote me a love letter that never fails to move me when I read it and he is constantly surprising me with his generosity to others.

So in this case, my dreams were NOTHING compared to reality.

Love is laundry, and laughing at something only the two of us find funny, too many inside jokes to count, and every day I fall a little more in love with my husband.

Jeremy, you are Awesomesauce!

be melted

Okay, deep breath. I gave a speech in June in aid of getting better at giving speeches.

My friend, Ryan Avery just recently reminded me that the goal should always be to give a message from the heart. While this is a message from my heart, I also it to be effective, so I am posting it to all my readers (gasp!) in hopes that you will comment and give me feedback on what went well, what did not go well, what I could do better. In particular, I would like to focus on the points of strength you find and what you would suggest I leave out or expand upon in future speeches.

As I discuss in the speech (Spoiler Alert) – I have a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL to give a TED TALK and would love your help in the process. This may be part of the speech I end up giving at Ted (flutters in my stomach, just typing that) but your feedback is greatly appreciated and vital to that process.

so here it is, tell me your thoughts. I know many people ask for feedback and they only want the good. I am actively seeking the good, the bad, and the ugly so let me have it, it is the ONLY way to grow.

 

Thank you in advance for taking the time- Please email me your feedback or comment below

jennifermckennasays@gmail.com

Dear Readers,

I am not the first to say this phrase certainly but as I walking on my treadmill last night I realized I am on Workout Day 65. That represents 65 times I have chosen to exercise this year. GO ME!

But I have to realize that there are far more people who are inches away from “workout day 1” because they haven’t started yet because they feel too far afield of the process to ever “catch up” . I have news for you, there is no such thing as “catching up” when you are competing to be the best you that YOU can possibly be. I could very easily be upset by the fact that in my first dance class in 9 years that I was having trouble keeping up and even knowing what the heck the instructor was asking us to do but you know what, when I started working out in December of 2013 I walked, slowly and had trouble going for longer than 5 or ten minutes, so like so many things in life, it is a process and in the world of dance, I am a beginner, a neophyte, a total novice. For someone who prizes the expert status I have in so many other fields, this is a hard sentence to type.

That is okay by me because I have seen the progress I have made in the world of fitness, so dancing “one step at a time” into success is going to be fun and I hereby declare I will NOT feel bad about my progress by watching someone else do an amazing pique turn, I will instead focus on the approaching day when I do a perfectly executed cha cha. Is there something you say “yeah, I would like to be better about that, but …. (insert excuse here) but haven’t? Start now.

Let today be your Day 1 and stop complaining, start doing!

Think about it!

Well my dear dear readers, I am so excited to report that I had a FANTASTIC visit with the dentist on Tuesday.

These are truly amazing words considering the posts of the past– two years ago –

https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/your-health-needs-integrity-too/

Suffice to say, In the past, my dental health has been deplorable and so I have spent time, money and tears on my teeth and it has NOT been FUN.

After several months of more concentrated flossing and brushing and using mouthwash, the results are a very healthy report from my dentist!. By itself that is a wonderful thing, the sense of accomplishment I feel is real, the real proof though is that while getting a routine cleaning this Tuesday, it only took an hour and there was no pain! Usually I need about 7 shots of anesthetic to handle a cleaning! NO PAIN is HUGE for me since the dentist is normally an ORDEAL and I dread going, I dread being there (despite the extremely kind and considerate staff, you know who you are) and its an absolute misery.

Now I will go ahead and admit, I have not done it every day but I have been much more focused on taking care of my teeth and these are the results, can you imagine if I did it every day, how much better can it get? It is such a nice feeling to know that we are no longer in “recovery” mode with my teeth and working on “maintenance” YAY!

As a public service, the following youtubes are provided so you don’t have to wonder what is the proper way to brush your teeth, floss your teeth, also .. ask your hygenist at your next cleaning, they will be happy to show you.

Flossing

Brushing

My tips-

1. Set a reminder for yourself and floss, brush and mouthwash twice daily

2. Make it fun, pick a toothpaste that will help you work on your problem areas but put fun stickers on your tube of toothpaste

3. Realize baby steps (daily activity) will REALLY work.

Think about it! and Brush, Brush those Teeth!

Dear Readers,

I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. Last year I had an incredible breakthrough about loving my body as it is and a big part of that was the glamorous photo shoot (albeit to celebrate some major weight loss) I scheduled for my 37th birthday and I have continued to make strides on “not calling myself fat” “thinking of myself as overweight” even though several people around me including my loving husband tell me I look great,

It matters that I believe it and slowly, ever so slowly I am coming to the conclusion that this many people saying it, it must be true. I carry myself with more confidence because for the most part we eat paleo and I do not feel deprived because I know the cheat day is coming and coming soon when I can have all the dairy, processed foods, and grains that I want.  It was recently that I decided that I was done with the guilt that comes along with eating foods that make me happy. You know the ones, ice cream, cookies, fries, nachos, anything that has cheese or chocolate attached to I am in love! I recently read a wonderfully witty book called

“French Women Don’t Get Fat” http://frenchwomendontgetfat.com/ (check out the website!)

for years, she has been teaching women about bien dans sa peau–

roughly translated-it means feeling good about how you look-

that spent a good deal of time exploring the differences between American and French women and a big takeaway is the guilt we (Americans) feel over eating that piece of cake instead of eating it and truly enjoying it and then not feeling the need for more. The author provides some great advice including adding exercise (don’t tell me your building doesn’t have stairs) in your daily routine.

Julia Roberts touches on it playing Elizabeth Gilbert in “Eat, Pray, Love” – “I have no interest in being obese but I am done with the guilt… ” and so am I.

I exercise and I eat healthy foods (what a concept!) except when I don’t and I REFUSE to feel guilt over it any more!

Dear Guilt,

For a long time now, you and I have been together.

I have realized that you don’t help, you are hurtful and really not productive.

It’s definitely not me, I am AWESOME, you suck

We are never, ever getting back together,

Not Love,

Jennifer