Never be afraid to ask for help…

At any stage and any age, support is a good thing. I said that to someone last week when they said, I shouldn’t need help at my age and I got to thinking about how needless that is.

Thought I know that intellectually, emotionally this remains a difficulty for me. I have a very hard time asking for help, I am working on this and my husband has made it much easier for me to ask and receive help graciously.

Case in point, we are working on gaining better health by eating better and exercising and he has been and continues to be an amazing resource for help, encouragement and love. This week is the first week I have lost weight in three weeks, he also decided that it was a good idea to measure the inches and I am proud to say I have lost an inch from my waist and my stomach which is extremely good progress and has reinvigorated my enthusiasm for the process.

Putting yourself out there is very scary but I have been posting photographs on Facebook and getting the encouragement of friends because I couldn’t see I was making progress but the outpouring of support, and just loving remarks could not have been better timed to help move me forward so I wanted to say thank you and hope that my post will encourage you to ask for help if you need it, even if its difficult.

Choose Integrity and Excellence in all things.

We are the product of our decisions. It can be as simple as, I choose to get up to go to work today, or I choose to call in and take a “sick” day.

I choose to eat an apple, or I choose to eat a doughnut. One will cause you to be in great health and one will cause you continuing health problems including heart disease and obesity. I know its hard to believe just one doughnut could do all that, but continued consumption of really unhealthy foods lead to bad health and if you are anything like me one doughnut usually leads to two.

I choose to do my work and not be distracted by Facebook, Twitter and the like. A simple decision like this can boost your productivity because as much as you might think it doesn’t really matter, and everybody does it why can’t I, your word matters and when you go to Facebook on company time, you are breaking your word to your employer to stay vigilant to the task at hand. (the people who use Facebook for work, have it even harder because you have to use Facebook professionally while avoiding the “personal use” trap.  

On the flip side of this, we could all be a little more “mindful” on how we spend time in life, not just at work. How often do you text and drive thinking I will just send this one text, and I am at a red light so it is safe. NO it is not and besides that, if you are driving and texting you miss out on the lovely view on the roadside like the guy who waves at every passerby on my commute home next to St. Edwards, He is happy as a clam, just waving. How often do you ignore your friend who you spent weeks coordinating with to get a coffee date to take just one call or read one text as it comes in? The caveat is emergency calls of course, but stop and think, what constitutes an emergency to you? Are you letting the immediate become an emergency? 

How often do you just go through the motions of your day and not really appreciate traffic. Yep, I said appreciate traffic. Its your life, and its moving very quickly, be sure to keep your word to yourself to have a great life which means really living it!

What will you do to be more mindful today?

If at first you don’t succeed, try try again..

I have heard this advice on and off for most of my life and it is good advice if not hard to swallow on the heels of yet another disappointment.

But when you don’t succeed over and over and over again, its hard to slap on a happy face and Tony Robbins yourself into a good frame of mind. With this post, I am aiming to do just that. I am trying to talk myself into doing what I know I must.

I am speaking about my weight loss in the last few weeks, or to put it more accurately, my lack of weight loss. I am doing the same things, but not getting any results. It would be different if I was chowing down on Haagen Daz  or even eating mashed potatoes at every turn but I am following paleo down to the letter and I have remained the exact same weight for three consecutive weeks and its making me ornery and a whole lot less motivated to “stay the course”

I weigh 255 pounds which is 30 pounds less than I weighed at the end of 2012, so in that sense I am experiencing real progress and should be happy. However, comparing a bad score to a better one doesn’t make the better one great, it just makes it better.

But enough of this melancholy michegas, I have a job, I am loved, I can walk, I can talk and I can read and I can write. I have to think about all the things I have and have accomplished this year. To review my goals were these. 

1. More face to face. Less Facebook- I have had no less than 5 face to face coffee, tea and lunch encounters. Still working on less Facebook. The lure of other people is strong.

2. Read 10 books. I have actually read 2 and am close to finishing a third tonight.

3. Give 10 effective speeches. I have given two and will give a third this Saturday

4. Lose 50 pounds. I have lost 30 and that is nothing to sneeze at..

So at the quartermark, I have accomplished some things and still working on others.

How about you? What are you working on? Who do you count on for support?

Rewriting is the best Writing

I don’t claim to be a professional writer, but I do enjoy it and I often turn my blogs into speeches which have been very successful. As an actor, I am always looking for wonderful dialogue to say on stage. I am deeply enamored with people who write well and one such writer is Aaron Sorkin. You may know him from a series called, “The West Wing” or “Sports Night” or more recently “Newsroom”. I love the way he writes. It is evocative of the 1940s which is a favourite era of mine characterized by “fast pace” and “rat a tat” ala “His Girl Friday” and “The Philadephia Story”. I love it so much that I was working on a monologue for an audition and in working on it, I wanted to be sure I had all the words right so I went hunting online for the script of the piece I was looking for in “Sports Night” (admittedly being lazy because I didn’t want to have to listen, pause and type) but I found the original uncut script, and while its not bad writing, it has a lot of extraneous words and character choices that serve to diminish the strong character profile as built by Felicity Huffman as Dana Whittaker.. but I digress. The point of this, is that may have been a first draft or a second, but the words that ended up on screen as said by the actor were so strong and concise and I think that is a missed lesson by writers because their “baby” is perfect and they toiled over it, and sweated over it and shed blood to create those stories and characters, but often it takes an outside influence or some distance to see how much better it can be by tweaking the original brilliant concept.

So what’s my takeaway from this? If a wonderful writer, like Aaron Sorkin, has less than majestic phraseology and he has issues getting it “right” the first time, what are you so worried about? If you want to write, get started today! If its bad, it will get better. If you are already a writer, great, keep writing!

This book that I have linked to below is all about abandoning your fear and “STARTING” to go after your dreams. Check it out!

http://www.thestartbook.com/?ectid=ja.lt.jm8

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

Hello dear readers!

I want to tell you today that it’s never too late.

Colonel Sanders fried his first chicken at 67.

Leonardo Da Vinci painted a masterpiece at 78.

Margaret Chase Smith was the first woman nominee for president at 31.

Elizabeth Blackwell started a hospital for Women and Children when she was 53.

Anna Mary Robertson “Grandma” Moses sold her first painting when she was 78.

Keep in mind, you don’t hear stories about all the failures and false starts, all you know about is the finish line. The road there is largely winding and full of pitfalls, mistakes, and extremely hard work, but you never get the end result of Awesome if you never started at all, right?

It’s time to START. This link is for a website all about being Awesome and the road map to get there. It’s written by a guy who is married and has two kids and had a dream to help other people.

My dream is to help him help other people so I am linking this to my blog to get the word out about his book to help as many people as possible access their inner Awesome.

I don’t know about you, but I think the world could stand to be just a little more awesome!

What are you waiting for?

You are everything you need to be.

I heard someone say recently, “I will be so much better when I have been in school longer, and know more and have read more” and it really made me stop and think. How many of us have stopped ourselves doing something because we are “not an expert”? I read recently it takes 10,000 hours to get to be an expert at something. That’s a really big number, and not a little overwhelming. Not being a math major, I decided to break it down- For instance, it would take 10 years of practicing 3 hours a day to become a master in your subject. It would take approximately 5 years of full-time employment to become proficient in your field. Simply work out how many hours you have already achieved and calculate how many more you need to clock up before you reach 10000.

But what if its not your job you want to have mastery at? Maybe you want to learn to cook, or change a tire or just become more proficient in something you are already well schooled in.

Don’t despair, you don’t have to spend 10,000 hours to be Awesome. What you need to do is decide right now to do your absolute best at whatever you decide to do and commit to learning along the way, be open to the mistakes you are going to make. Read that again, I said the mistakes you are going to make. You have permission to fail. It’s a natural progression to greatness to fail. Or to put it another way, “Failure is the Grandfather of Success”

Once your mindset changes, everything on
the outside will change along with it.
―Steve Maraboli

 

You are all you need to be right now. Don’t wish to be something you are not. Strive to be all you can be and more, but don’t compare Your apple to someone else’s orange or your beginning to someone else’s middle.

The next time you are inclined to say I can’t or I don’t know how, think about a time when you didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, or how to change a tire, or how to cook a chicken. I got in touch with people who knew how to do it, and asked for help, or watched them do it, and then figured out the best way for me to do it. Maybe not the fastest, maybe not the “expert” way but how I felt comfortable. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try new things, some of the most important learning experiences I have had come from someone saying, “Do this” and not giving instruction but trusting I knew how to do it.

I use these examples because for me there was a time, I didn’t know how to do all of those things, but now through the help of my husband and my friends, now I know. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or admit that there is something you do not know, for there is power in not knowing that allows for knowledge to come to you.

What can you learn today? 

 

Patience. Not just an opera

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I tend to rely on quotes for inspiration. Today is no different. As some of you may know, my husband and I decided to adopt a paleo lifestyle (not a diet) at the first of the year and one of the side benefits of this change has been pretty significant weight loss, until now.

Two weeks have gone by and we have not lost weight but gained weight. I noticed that on the whiteboard where we track our weight, my husband had placed a sad face next to his weight gain and I erased it saying, “Don’t think of it like that. Weight loss is supposed to be a side benefit, the main goal is to be in better health” Easy to say, hard to believe.

Patience is necessary for this, because we are only allowed to cheat one meal per week, so you have to constantly turn down Girl Scout cookies, Worlds Finest Chocolate and other temptations wafting about the office. So while I am frustrated by this weight gain, I realize its not a setback but a guidepost in this journey to better health and in a few weeks, when the weight loss has picked up and we are noticing a lack of tightness in our clothing and an extra energy in my step, I will remember the bitter along with the sweet fruits of the patience I have developed.

What is testing your patience in your life, what can you focus on instead?

What are you working on right now?

So last week, I stepped up to speak in the International Speech contest tonight at my Toastmasters Club and while I am nervous I am also excited because my goal is not to win. I know its pretty crazy to think about competing not to win, but I am using this opportunity to work on my goal of becoming a better speaker.

Someone I respect recently said its important to get joy from the journey and not just the destination.

Think about it, when you have accomplished a goal in the past did you feel excitement at the completion or more so when you ran into obstacles or achieved smaller goals? I don’t know about your journey, I can only talk about mine, but some of the most rewarding results I have experienced were just before I was just about to give up, but decided to stick with it just a little bit longer.?

As an example, my eventual health goal is to lose 75 pounds on this paleo diet. My original goal was 50, but after I started to see major progress (21 pounds in a month and a half)I realized I had outgrown my goal and needed a new one. I think its important when you have a goal to “check in” and see how you are doing, take your temperature, and ask for accountability partners to help you stay honest about how you are doing.

So my question to you is, Where are you going? What are you working on?

Here Comes the Boom. Yes, you read that right…

Okay, so I can’t believe I am posting about a Kevin James movie, yet I am..

Let me take you back 24 hours, Jeremy and I plan to have a very low-key, stay in, no hearts and flowers or over the top (which we specialize in 364 days of the year) Valentines day.

Pizza (which is cheating on our paleo diet) and a movie. I let him pick the movie, and as we were searching titles, “Here Comes the Boom” popped up and as Jeremy and I are avid fans of “Hitch” largely in part due to Kevin James and Will Smith I thought, okay, fun for him, and fun for me, not going to rock my socks  but it will be fun. and it was, but oh so much more….

First of all, the movie is about a teacher who in trying to save the music department has to come up with 48,000 in a short time. This got me to thinking, what would you do if you had to come up with a lot of money in a short amount of time? Well back when my husband and I were saving for our wedding, we both worked extra hours, and I took a second job, so that is an idea. It’s more about long-term gain not short-term so we would have to think about something else. In any case, this movie peppered with great quotes from Nietzsche (and yes I had to look up to spell it) like “Without music, life would be a mistake” and the usual “Follow your dreams” , and How to inspire others. The usual formula for success story.

Improbable Premise + Plucky Hero + Unbelievable, Rarely happens in life= Happy Endingbut this had a new take, and surprisingly I was very touched by the story. So what is my point, you ask? Well, its simply this, don’t judge a book by its cover until you read it and as a supporting corollary, don’t judge a movie till you watch it.

Have you had similar experiences? Have you read a book you were reluctant to read, to find out it really spoke to you?