You are everything you need to be.

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I heard someone say recently, “I will be so much better when I have been in school longer, and know more and have read more” and it really made me stop and think. How many of us have stopped ourselves doing something because we are “not an expert”? I read recently it takes 10,000 hours to get to be an expert at something. That’s a really big number, and not a little overwhelming. Not being a math major, I decided to break it down- For instance, it would take 10 years of practicing 3 hours a day to become a master in your subject. It would take approximately 5 years of full-time employment to become proficient in your field. Simply work out how many hours you have already achieved and calculate how many more you need to clock up before you reach 10000.

But what if its not your job you want to have mastery at? Maybe you want to learn to cook, or change a tire or just become more proficient in something you are already well schooled in.

Don’t despair, you don’t have to spend 10,000 hours to be Awesome. What you need to do is decide right now to do your absolute best at whatever you decide to do and commit to learning along the way, be open to the mistakes you are going to make. Read that again, I said the mistakes you are going to make. You have permission to fail. It’s a natural progression to greatness to fail. Or to put it another way, “Failure is the Grandfather of Success”

Once your mindset changes, everything on
the outside will change along with it.
―Steve Maraboli

 

You are all you need to be right now. Don’t wish to be something you are not. Strive to be all you can be and more, but don’t compare Your apple to someone else’s orange or your beginning to someone else’s middle.

The next time you are inclined to say I can’t or I don’t know how, think about a time when you didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, or how to change a tire, or how to cook a chicken. I got in touch with people who knew how to do it, and asked for help, or watched them do it, and then figured out the best way for me to do it. Maybe not the fastest, maybe not the “expert” way but how I felt comfortable. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try new things, some of the most important learning experiences I have had come from someone saying, “Do this” and not giving instruction but trusting I knew how to do it.

I use these examples because for me there was a time, I didn’t know how to do all of those things, but now through the help of my husband and my friends, now I know. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or admit that there is something you do not know, for there is power in not knowing that allows for knowledge to come to you.

What can you learn today? 

 

Patience. Not just an opera

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Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I tend to rely on quotes for inspiration. Today is no different. As some of you may know, my husband and I decided to adopt a paleo lifestyle (not a diet) at the first of the year and one of the side benefits of this change has been pretty significant weight loss, until now.

Two weeks have gone by and we have not lost weight but gained weight. I noticed that on the whiteboard where we track our weight, my husband had placed a sad face next to his weight gain and I erased it saying, “Don’t think of it like that. Weight loss is supposed to be a side benefit, the main goal is to be in better health” Easy to say, hard to believe.

Patience is necessary for this, because we are only allowed to cheat one meal per week, so you have to constantly turn down Girl Scout cookies, Worlds Finest Chocolate and other temptations wafting about the office. So while I am frustrated by this weight gain, I realize its not a setback but a guidepost in this journey to better health and in a few weeks, when the weight loss has picked up and we are noticing a lack of tightness in our clothing and an extra energy in my step, I will remember the bitter along with the sweet fruits of the patience I have developed.

What is testing your patience in your life, what can you focus on instead?

What are you working on right now?

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So last week, I stepped up to speak in the International Speech contest tonight at my Toastmasters Club and while I am nervous I am also excited because my goal is not to win. I know its pretty crazy to think about competing not to win, but I am using this opportunity to work on my goal of becoming a better speaker.

Someone I respect recently said its important to get joy from the journey and not just the destination.

Think about it, when you have accomplished a goal in the past did you feel excitement at the completion or more so when you ran into obstacles or achieved smaller goals? I don’t know about your journey, I can only talk about mine, but some of the most rewarding results I have experienced were just before I was just about to give up, but decided to stick with it just a little bit longer.?

As an example, my eventual health goal is to lose 75 pounds on this paleo diet. My original goal was 50, but after I started to see major progress (21 pounds in a month and a half)I realized I had outgrown my goal and needed a new one. I think its important when you have a goal to “check in” and see how you are doing, take your temperature, and ask for accountability partners to help you stay honest about how you are doing.

So my question to you is, Where are you going? What are you working on?

Here Comes the Boom. Yes, you read that right…

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Okay, so I can’t believe I am posting about a Kevin James movie, yet I am..

Let me take you back 24 hours, Jeremy and I plan to have a very low-key, stay in, no hearts and flowers or over the top (which we specialize in 364 days of the year) Valentines day.

Pizza (which is cheating on our paleo diet) and a movie. I let him pick the movie, and as we were searching titles, “Here Comes the Boom” popped up and as Jeremy and I are avid fans of “Hitch” largely in part due to Kevin James and Will Smith I thought, okay, fun for him, and fun for me, not going to rock my socks  but it will be fun. and it was, but oh so much more….

First of all, the movie is about a teacher who in trying to save the music department has to come up with 48,000 in a short time. This got me to thinking, what would you do if you had to come up with a lot of money in a short amount of time? Well back when my husband and I were saving for our wedding, we both worked extra hours, and I took a second job, so that is an idea. It’s more about long-term gain not short-term so we would have to think about something else. In any case, this movie peppered with great quotes from Nietzsche (and yes I had to look up to spell it) like “Without music, life would be a mistake” and the usual “Follow your dreams” , and How to inspire others. The usual formula for success story.

Improbable Premise + Plucky Hero + Unbelievable, Rarely happens in life= Happy Endingbut this had a new take, and surprisingly I was very touched by the story. So what is my point, you ask? Well, its simply this, don’t judge a book by its cover until you read it and as a supporting corollary, don’t judge a movie till you watch it.

Have you had similar experiences? Have you read a book you were reluctant to read, to find out it really spoke to you?

Think It, Say It, DO It!

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I have always believed in the phrase, speak it into existence, fake it till you make, or act as if you have faith and faith will be given to you.

Never has this been more true than recently with my weight loss goal. I posted about this goal of losing 50 pounds in mid-December. 

I remember thinking to myself, that’s a good goal, and eating better should help that but its going to take a while and I need to be patient. This started with the small step (felt humongous at the time) of giving up soda because I read a blog about how it helped a woman lose 10 pounds in a month and I thought, well that will be worth trying. I can always pick it back up again if I can’t do it. Then someone my husband works with started talking to him about weight loss and nutrition because we are both overweight and got him very excited about the possibility of weight loss on the paleo diet.  www.paleoaholic.com

I have been overweight or pleasantly plump for most of my life, and it plagues me. I don’t desire to be supermodel skinny, but I am looking forward to not having to wear baggy pants and hang on to that shirt that is just a little bigger so it hides my “fat”.

At the end of last year, my husband and I both had a pretty strong reason to get our health under control, and we decided to change our diet. We have both stuck steadfastly to the paleo diet and experimented with many recipes, I say we, but in truth it is my amazing husband who experiments and cooks and I just say, wow, I never thought of that as something to put together, like shepherd’s pie with quinoa, ground beef, and sweet potatoes, that’s delicious!

I realize the power of making a statement where others read it, and will hold your feet to the fire is incredible. Its not as though I get pressure from people but when they ask how its going I am excited to tell them, so far since I started this journey, I have lost 21 pounds! When you think about the goal of 50 it seems so insurmountable but I am almost halfway to my goal, which is also exciting because it means now, I have outgrown this goal and its time to set a new one. So here goes, I want to lose 75 pounds which will put me at a healthy weight for my height and body mass index which I lamented in November I might never get to and now I really believe it is possible. I also said I wanted to read more books. That isn’t very measurable, so I am updating that goal to 10 books this year. I have already read three. I said I wanted to give 10 speeches this year, I have already given one so everything that seemed so far out of reach, now seems doable, possible and even probable!

What do you want to do? Who will hold your feet to the fire to get it done?  

What do you want to be when you grow up?

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This is a universal question asked to thousands of children everywhere. The answer.

Ballerina

Fireman

Scientist

The list goes on and on as far as the eye can see and the mind can expand.. There are jobs kids are talking about that haven’t even been invented yet! Its important when we hear these answers we stoke desire in those little hearts and minds, not limitations. While on the subject of dreams and encouraging them.. This is not limited to kids. We, adults have dreams too, and its important that we encourage those too. If someone says to you, “I want to learn a new language” be sure you build them up by saying, That sounds like fun, what is your game plan?”

Please don’t discourage them because once upon a time you took Latin and hated it and swore to never speak the dead language again- I will never forget being told I couldn’t be an actress because “you will never make any money”

This idea that I am blogging about is not a new one. Its all part of a philosophy talked about in a great book coming out called “Start” by Jon Acuff, all about how to “punch fear in the face” and “escaping average” I just read the first chapter and am filled with excitement and a new energy to go after my goals. For your review-

Lose 50 pounds- I have lost 17- which leaves 33 to go!!

Read more books- I have read two, working on a third

Get more sleep- up to 8 hours this week

Give 10 speeches this year- Giving my first one tonight

What do you want to do? What kind of support network do you need to build to do it?

Think about it.

 

To pre-order the Jon Acuff’s book, “START” here is the link

http://j.mp/WMzx8d

Forming a new habit takes 21 days…. or longer

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I have always held the belief that making or breaking a habit followed one simple formula:

Have idea to change or start activity+ 21 days of doing or not doing that activity =Habit Formed

However, when opening my email today and reading an excerpt from a new book, by Jeremy Dean, “Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick

seems to indicate the harder the change, the longer the timeframe to move it from “idea” to “habit”. The range has been found to be anywhere from 21 to 96 and sometimes more depending on the complexity of the change. I have to say as someone trying to change eating habits, reading habits and spending habits all in one year, this comes as something of a relief.

 
Now, don’t mistake me, you still have to do the work, but this allows for some grace in the forming of the habit, and to allow you to realize that even if not perfect, the effort is worth it because it is in the effort to make a change for the positive, that we truly start the change.
 
By the way, changing eating habits for 30 days has yielded me 16 pounds less on my frame, more energy and sleeping better. I will get back to you on the rest.. What are you trying to change today, tomorrow and next week?

 

Flying in the teeth of failure!

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My teeth are in bad shape. They have been for years. I am ashamed by how they look in pictures, often I even close my lips to not expose my teeth. I have been told that I have genetics working against me, but its not all the progenitors fault, I share some of the blame too. For many years I was lax about my dental hygiene but in the last year or so,  I have been making efforts to improve the state of my health which includes my teeth.

After flossing, brushing, and mouth washing for months I walked into my dentist’s office yesterday very optimistic about what he is going to tell me. Perfect! I can really tell that you have been doing everything you should, and because of that, I don’t need to do any work on you. In retrospect, I realize this was a bit naive.  I sit in the chair and I brace myself, but still hoping for good news and then he tells me you need a crown, and he points out all the plaque and build up on my teeth though I have been working at this goal for a while. Needless to say, this was VERY disappointing news and at first all I could focus on is the result and what has happened and why did I waste all that time brushing and flossing and I am working myself up into quite a frothy milkshake, and then I realize its useless to complain about a bad result if you are doing all you know how to do to bring about a good one.

I calmed myself down, and decided it was time to learn what I was doing wrong.

So I ask the dentist to watch me floss and brush and I show them exactly how I am doing it and they show me how I am missing angles on this tooth after tooth and I have to slow down because my teeth are not even, I also need to angle my brush differently, and possibly get a different brand of electric toothbrush. I am very honest about my frustration and feeling that what I have been doing is fruitless and they show me X-rays so I can compare and its decidedly better. Can you imagine if I hadn’t been doing everything I have been doing? How much worse could it be?  He added, “This is an old problem, so no matter how much you brushed and flossed, you still would have needed a crown today.”  This makes me feel much better and I am re-energized in my goal to have better teeth. I can’t control genetics but I can be certain to floss, brush and rinse three times a day.

Here’s the closing thought, If you try and don’t succeed, you haven’t failed, it just means you haven’t succeeded yet and you need to adjust the game plan. Maybe get a new coach, or accountability partner. Now, go brush your teeth! Trust me!

Right place, right time

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Did you ever feel upset that your plans fell through and then you do something unexpected and it works out in a way you couldn’t possibly have foreseen?

Well, that happened to me yesterday and it is all thanks to “random acts of kindness” birthday. My 36th birthday is Saturday and instead of asking for presents, I have asked friends and family to do a random act of kindness for someone else instead of giving me a present. In years past that would not have been possible, because usually on my birthday, I just see me, and what I want but recently, I have been associated with a group of people who really inspire me to think about others and in a wonderful coincidence I was given a book called, “The Kindness of Strangers” and the idea sort of grew from there. If you haven’t read the book, I recommend you do. Its a literary meringue of goodness and written by top notch authors about their occasion to be helped by a “kind and benevolent” stranger while traveling to far off destinations. Each one a little more interesting than the next, but the thing I took from it was the ability we all have to do that “kindness” for a “stranger” So, the next time you are at Starbucks, consider paying for the person behind you, or buying someone’s groceries that they had to put back. It doesn’t have to cost money, but it will cost you some thought. 

I find the examining leads to lots of thoughts about other people and what you can do to bless them emotionally, spiritually or financially. What can you do today to make a stranger have a better day? Think about it!