Tag: goals

Be curious. Be patient. Watch what happens!

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Dear Readers, I am taking a class right now that implores that you “be curious and be patient with yourself and others”

It occurred to me this is excellent life advice. Think about it. If you are curious, you are always learning. If you are patient, you lower your heart rate and your level of stress.

For instance, if you have a bad day or are stressed out about how you did at work, you can take the stance of being curious to figure out what you need to do to improve things. Instead of judging yourself for the difficulty, you can be patient with yourself as you learn about what needs to change.

On a personal note, in the last two weeks, I have gained almost 10 pounds due to an excess of eating foods not on our paleo diet. As my nurse friend pointed out, its easy to pack on the pounds when you go off such a strict diet. In the past, I would have shamed myself and tried to hide it or make excuses or feel guilty but now, with the advent of this advice, I am finding myself to be more patient with myself and forgiving the cheating and have a renewed vigor to resume the lifestyle choice of paleo, and give myself some grace for the past. To be clear, this is not license to continue the cheating, this is an acknowledgment that this is something I am still working on, just like the rest of life, we are all evolving and moving to whatever our next level is going to be. So I implore you, be curious and be patient. The results will surprise you. Think about it! 

This is me in June of this year 2013.

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This is me in June of this year 2013.

A year later and six months with paleo, I lost 60 pounds. I know its not June anymore but this is the most recent photo I took of me that you can see my whole body. A friend recently asked me if I was documenting the transformation and I realized I have fallen down on that lately so here goes.. The next photo you see will be from September of this year. While the weight loss is great, the increased energy and commitment to my health has been the greatest feeling. My husband put us on this journey in January and it just keeps getting better and better. I never thought of myself as someone who had a special diet or a vegan not that there is anything wrong with it, just wasn’t on my landscape. But now, I am happy and grateful every day for this diet and the changes that we have seen with it. I have done a 5K and been comfortable in a bathing suit for the first time ever…. (and that was just this month) after a life-time of thinking of myself a certain way, I see a different picture in the mirror and I like what I see….

If you are struggling with weight or just feeling run-down, I invite you to take a look at your diet and see if you are eating healthy foods and try it for a week and see how you feel. You might really enjoy it!

This website is our go to place –
http://www.thepaleomom.com/

Happiness is not always what you think it looks like

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Hello dear readers. This morning I got up at 5:15 a.m and worked out in my living room. Two things I DETEST! I did have a brief flirtation with liking “working out” after a dance class a few months ago but it was just that, brief.

I remember when I was younger, I dreamed about being an adult and able to eat cookies any time I wanted to and going to bed super late and looking very forward to all of it. I dreamed about a certain kind of job I would have and winning an Oscar (still plan to by the way 🙂

My life, thus far, has not turned out like I imagined.

It’s better. Lots better.

“Let me explain, no wait, there is no time. Let me sum up”

I have a husband who is wonderful. So wonderful, in fact that it was his suggestion that we get up early today and work out and you know what, I had fun and you know why, because he was there and we were working on our goals together and that makes a big difference.

Knowing you have a partner, whether its a friend or a spouse or an accountability partner makes a huge difference in the pursuit of your happiness.

Who is your partner and why do they rock? Tell me about it!

Your time is valuable. What are you doing with it?

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Hello dear readers. First of all, thank you for reading my blog, I know it takes valuable time out of your day to read it. I recently realized how much I was actually doing in a given week and said, “whoa!” and it made me think, how many other people are doing this and not aware of it.

What you care about shows up in your checkbook and your calendar. When I look at my checkbook, always a fun topic that everyone is willing to discuss, right? (wink) I see that most of our financial portfolio is tied up in food and shelter and debt repayment which I guess is normal and its not forever. We are actively paying down our debt and will be out of debt in three years (hopefully less) but I digress.

What I really needed to look at was my calendar and take stock there. I made several goals this year to work on my face to face time with friends, read more books and work on coaching and speaking as it is something I feel I am meant to do. So to that end, I was doing the following:

1. I was going to Toastmasters every week and speaking there about once a month.

2. I was seeing friends about once a week.

3. I was working two jobs, really three with the coaching.

What is missing? I wasn’t doing anything for my marriage.  Sad to say it is true, and while it was pride swallowing to admit, I actively started to make plans with my husband first and everyone else second and third and fourth and so on. So far its working for me and my hope is that if you are reading this, you don’t need this wake up call, but then again maybe you do.

I would love to say I just woke up and figured it out one day but it was actually another blog I read about “Intentional Marriage Method” not her words but mine after reading her post “4 Ways to Fall Asleep More In Love”.
http://thenewwifestyle.com/?s=4+ways+to+fall+asleep+more

We are all busy, the question is what are you busy doing?

Stop Worrying. Its interest on a debt that never comes due….

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I subscribe to a service called “Thoughts Become Things. Choose the good ones. Technically its called http://www.tut.com (Notes from the Universe) and what I love about this site is that occasionally because of goals I input into the website way back when “getting out of debt” or more specifically, “have financial harmony including balance” I get a message that has a specific message that is addressed to me, Jennifer and asks how that goal is going. I have recommended this website to many people because to me, its a B-12 shot of positivity for my day and there are days when the nugget of wisdom really hits home. Today was such a day.

The things that mystify you, Jennifer, need not worry you.

It’s a kind of mental check-up, and I like it. This tag line at the bottom of today’s message really spoke to me and I decided to blog about it because I tell people all the the time not to worry and to focus their energy on what you CAN do instead of worrying about what is to come or not to come yet I often do not take my own advice. Le sigh

Take me for example, I spent the better part of last week and weekend worrying about a confrontation with a really close friend and when the topic actually came up, it was no big deal. The reality was that when I dealt with it (duh) it was already solved but the information had not been imparted yet. I find that people deal better with issues if you have already worked on it and present the problem with a proposed answer, this is true in business and true in friendship.

So do yourself a favor, worry less and take action more. Think about it!

Meet yourself where you are… Mental Check-up!

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I had occasion to spend some time catching up with a good friend yesterday and we were talking about career plans and dreams we are currently chasing and it occurred to me its

time to check in…

Intentions- Less tv. More Books–

Netflix is still tv but I have cut my tv watching in half!

1. Spend more time in person. Less Facebook.

Still struggling with this, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I want to know what’s going on with my friends who I don’t see everyday but then there are the people who post all day long because they are excited ( I have been guilty of this) and want to share with the world, but I sincerely believe Facebook is hindering our ability to really and truly connect with people.. an emoticon is nice but its not the same thing as a real smile shared over coffee. I have been doing my best to find a happy balance.. Its a work in progress

2. Read 10 books, I have read 7. Some good, some just fun!

3. Give 10 effective speeches, I have given 7. I feel myself getting better each time or more accurately, finding things to make me better the next time up.

4. Lose 50 pounds. I have actually lost 50 but the new goal  is 100 and I am finding that challenging (last week represents an almost total lack of adherence to the paleo diet and I gained the 7 pounds to prove it. My husband and I discussed it and the truth is that we both needed a break, we have been RELIGIOUS for 7 months so it was time to fail and fail with gusto. For example, I didn’t just eat one cookie from the breakroom on the 4th of July, I ate 4. I didn’t just have half a breakfast taco, I had 2.

Yep, you read that right, time to fail. I feel much better this week and we have both rededicated our efforts to our health. But we both agree that this was a needed departure because you can’t do something that radical to your diet and not have a breakdown somewhere so last week for the breakdown, this week for the resurgence of dedication and devotion to the goal of great health.. Here’s to you!

What are you doing today? What are you doing this week? How about this month? Let me know how I can encourage you!

How to say no!

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Being a people pleaser for most of my life, I have long struggled with this concept of saying no.

When I directed my first show in 2008, I learned to say it nicely. It went something like this, 
“I am the director and in my vision, I see it this way so this is how we will do it.” When I directed my third show in 2010 I said it with more force and it really tested my ability to please. In that case,  I pleased myself and our audiences greatly. Looking back, I see that as a great victory.

In 2011, when planning our wedding, I had to learn to say it all over again and to people I loved and cared about but it was the end of the people pleaser as a default response.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get occasional bouts of “I don’t want to make anyone mad or hurt their feelings” but I am able to quash those impulses fairly easily when thinking about the pain it will cause in the long run by saying yes, or going along and going along till you just can’t take it anymore and you say NO, I WILL NOT DO THAT. It’s much better to let someone know up front that you do not want to do what they want you to do. I am not advocating you start bellowing NO at everyone you know but realize that you have a finite capacity of things you can do and things you can not do or more importantly do not WANT to do and say no accordingly.

The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. You can’t hope that it will magically happen because someone read your mind and sees your deepest hopes and desires. Learning to say no, is honoring yourself before others. It is one of the skills I am proudest of developing.

Now, here is the hard part, let me ask you. Who or what do you need to say no to today? Do it!

I am Shattering Expectations, you can too!

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This Saturday I am walking in a 5K. I will pause for your reaction.

This former fat kid, who was told many times, “you have such a pretty face, you just need to get rid of the baby fat” is walking in a 5K. I never thought that was possible. I use the phrase “shattering expectations” very purposefully. I have a picture of myself as fat which started in middle school and pervades daily. My only choice is to shatter that image with everything that I do that defies that image.

So when I look in the mirror I do not see the slimming figure I am becoming. I see the overweight teenager who was mercilessly teased. In other words, someone who would NEVER walk a 5K let alone run in one. (my next goal)

Funny thing about memories, they aren’t always accurate. In this case, they aren’t even close. I was recently going through some pictures of me in sixth grade (see below) and I am not fat, was not fat and this was my figure going through high school but somewhere along the way someone told me I was fat and I believed it over and over and over again and it is only now in looking back and considering the things I told myself and the relationship I have with food that I realize I am a healthy weight for my size and losing the weight is within my grasp and I have already lost 45 pounds of the weight I have carried along with a lot of negative thoughts about myself.

What do you say about yourself that when looked at through anothers eyes simply isn’t true? Image

Drum Roll Please……

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As of 6/1/2013 I have lost an additional 5 pounds making my total for the year 54 pounds. I now have to set a new goal, because my goal was 50 pounds for the year, and now I have met that goal.

I am shocked and amazed that the steps we have taken with paleo (If you are interested in Paleo- this is where we go for all our information, http://www.thepaleomom.com/)  have made such a difference. I shouldn’t be but I am. I mean, you hear all your life eat good food and exercise and you will have good health, seems really simple right? Well, when you get right down to it, it actually is. It boils down to baby steps, and figuring out what your overall goal is and then taking steps every day to work on it. If you fail, so what, you learned something new and that adds to your experience. Start again, try again, you are worth it!

When I started this, my goal was to get in better health. I have achieved that and tripped into some nice benefits like increased levels of confidence, more energy and of course weight loss. I think the biggest thing I have learned on the journey thus far is that your thinking will determine your action. Or put another way as Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude not your aptitude determines your altitude”

It sounds like a great motivational platitude but in truth it matters. Positive Mental Attitude.

If you need science to back this up, I invite you to check out this youtube video

So what does this mean to you, dear reader? Simple. Figure out what you want to do and start doing it, little by little. Do you want to learn a new language? Run a marathon? It is all within your reach. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Make a plan and follow it. If it doesn’t work, try something else. If it does work, examine what happened to make it go well, and repeat!

 

You control your life. Did you know?

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So I walked into work yesterday and someone brought donuts. My husband and I are doing a major lifestyle change including eating a paleo diet. For those that don’t know, you are allowed to cheat one day a week and hubby and I cheated Sunday. So there was no way for me to rationalize having a donut but man did I want one…. which got me to thinking each time I walked by, why do I want a donut so badly. Yes they are delicious, but you know what is better than a donut? Knowing that I lost 3 pounds last week by eating healthy foods and exercising. Is it hard to do that? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I will not die if I do not eat a donut but continuing down the path I was headed could have led to heart disease, obesity and other health problems. I am not out of the woods, I still have 50 more pounds to go, but I am gaining (ha ha) on the first 50. I only have 12 more pounds until I hit 50 pounds lost.

In a burst of I-can-really-be-a-different-person-if-I-only-try, I signed up for a 5K on June 15th. I am walking it, not running it, and can’t even really believe it myself but there was a time I thought I could not LIVE without chocolate or cheese, or bread or potatoes and 6 out of 7 days of a week sometimes more….. I now do. Amazing what we can do when we try.

What would happen if you did that thing you were scared of, what would that look like? Think about it.