Tag: working

One chapter begins as another ends…

HastonHelpingHandsLeave a comment

I was casting about for some pithy way to start this post and hit upon this quote

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

― Frank Herbert

I have several friends who are moving into the next phase of their life – going to graduate school, getting married, adopting kids, fostering kids and having kids and changing their career to name but a few.

These are all exciting things to happen but do not come without a level of stress- I learned in college all about “eustress” which is defined here-

  1. Eustress is a term coined by endocrinologist Hans Selye. The wordeustress consists of two parts. The prefix eu- derives from the Greek word meaning either “well” or “good.” When attached to the word stress, it literally means “good stress”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 I don’t know about you but I don’t generally think of stress as associated with good things but isn’t that the ultimate in reframing a situation? I am a big fan of that phrase and practice because let’s face it there are lots of situations in life that are not as we wish them to be, so in reframing you can paint it with the brush you like instead of the brush you have. For instance, I can look at today like, man I am tired and don’t want to go work out today, or as my good friend Jessica says, I have the “opportunity” to be tired because I am busy living a life I love and I have the “opportunity” to work out because my body is a working, breathing instrument that I am blessed to have working for me.                                                                           

Is that a little “being pollyanna” or viewing the world in “rose-colored glasses” YOU BET.. and most of the time it’s how I choose to view my life. Mark me, this does not exclude hard circumstances and real-life difficulty, but there are real opportunities every day to look for the happy rather than the annoying aspect of a given situation.

For example, I could look at my friend going to graduate school and moving away from Austin to become a professor as very sad and focus on the fact that he is moving away.

Yes, there is a level of sadness that goes with it, but I choose to focus on all the students he is going to impact and help live more enriched lives and the things they have yet to experience in his as yet unfilled classroom. This also gives way to the opportunity to stay in touch whether that is by email or even (gasp) a paper and pen letter.

Perhaps we could all stand to have a change like that. What chapter do you need to bring to an end to get YOU to your NEXT chapter?

Think about it…

It’s all about perspective….

HastonHelpingHands5 Comments

Dear Readers,

I talk a LOT about perspective on this blog, but you know its an important topic.

If you are someone who is starting a new diet, your perspective might be, “wow, I have a really long way to” but a better way to look at it is. “I am starting something new that is healthy and will take time for me to figure out how to do well”

If you are someone who is planning to run a 10 mile race in three months (insert scream here) you might say.. “gosh I haven’t worked out nearly enough to get to that goal.. but a better way to say it “I have thrown my hat over the wall and made a financial commitment to be more responsible about my health and that will take time and patience”

If you are someone who auditioned for the show “Chicago” with dreams of singing and dancing to “All That Jazz” and didn’t get a callback or the role, you might think, I should just give up, show business is so hard and its really unforgiving, a better way to look at it is. “I held my own with career dancers and brought it with a song” I may not be what they are looking for right now, but one day soon, I will be, I just need to keep working and playing and auditioning and studying and treating myself as the artist I am and it will lead to wonderful things.

So if you are not feeling particularly Pollyanna or Tony Robbins at the moment, I hear that, (that is kind of why I wrote the blog today to snap myself out of a funk) just don’t stay in the funk, take a beat and think about what you can reframe or change in your kaleidoscope and find the best possible way to look at it and think of this…. and be sure to yell, that is the best part of this advice! IMG_0258

What do you do when what you want doesn’t happen?

HastonHelpingHands2 Comments

As many of you know, I was up for a part in a play I adore and was doing everything I could to get picked. I was not picked and while I am upset ( I am human after all! ) I am excited to see what is next on the agenda that I am meant to do because this did not pan out.

Key takeaways from the experience?

1. Be Prepared. I practiced and practiced and practiced and received coaching from people I respect ( you know who you are) and felt extremely prepared, more so than for any audition I have ever had before. Yep, after almost 15 years of acting I just wrote that. Staggering.

2. Think Positive. I used to say Prepare for the Worst, Expect the Best and Adapt to the Outcome but that is such a defeatist attitude.. From now on, let’s just prepare for the best and adapt to the outcome whether its what you want or not.

3. Working hard is important but its not everything. – Sometimes you can do everything right and work as hard as you can but someone else or other factors make the final decision so in that case are you going to gnash your teeth and wear your hair shirt? No. Just work as hard as you can. That way if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, you can console yourself with the knowledge that you did all you could do to affect a positive outcome.

If nothing else, I had the chance to act and work with others for a night even if it wasn’t for a full run. I often have to remind myself as an actor it’s not my job to get the gig. It’s my job to audition, audition and then audition some more.

What are you working on? What is your dream? Tell me about it? I would love to encourage you on your journey!

If at first you don’t succeed, try try again..

HastonHelpingHands2 Comments

I have heard this advice on and off for most of my life and it is good advice if not hard to swallow on the heels of yet another disappointment.

But when you don’t succeed over and over and over again, its hard to slap on a happy face and Tony Robbins yourself into a good frame of mind. With this post, I am aiming to do just that. I am trying to talk myself into doing what I know I must.

I am speaking about my weight loss in the last few weeks, or to put it more accurately, my lack of weight loss. I am doing the same things, but not getting any results. It would be different if I was chowing down on Haagen Daz  or even eating mashed potatoes at every turn but I am following paleo down to the letter and I have remained the exact same weight for three consecutive weeks and its making me ornery and a whole lot less motivated to “stay the course”

I weigh 255 pounds which is 30 pounds less than I weighed at the end of 2012, so in that sense I am experiencing real progress and should be happy. However, comparing a bad score to a better one doesn’t make the better one great, it just makes it better.

But enough of this melancholy michegas, I have a job, I am loved, I can walk, I can talk and I can read and I can write. I have to think about all the things I have and have accomplished this year. To review my goals were these. 

1. More face to face. Less Facebook- I have had no less than 5 face to face coffee, tea and lunch encounters. Still working on less Facebook. The lure of other people is strong.

2. Read 10 books. I have actually read 2 and am close to finishing a third tonight.

3. Give 10 effective speeches. I have given two and will give a third this Saturday

4. Lose 50 pounds. I have lost 30 and that is nothing to sneeze at..

So at the quartermark, I have accomplished some things and still working on others.

How about you? What are you working on? Who do you count on for support?