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50 blog posts, 10 minutes a day and something simple

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This is my 50th blog post and I have been honestly struggling with what to write. I had a few ideas earlier this week regarding patriotism and the history of our country. I thought about posting details about my complete lack of adherence to paleo this week and the gaining of 7 pounds that came with it but realized because nothing felt strong enough it was not time to write.

I do my best to write once a week, usually Tuesday because it let’s more of the weekend set in and according to some statistics I have studied, Tuesday afternoon is a prime time for bloggers and blog watchers to read posts…

I decided none of those things mattered and therefore didn’t post. 

I realized I was trying to come up with something meaningful or profound but in truth it wasn’t until tonight that I was inspired to take pen to paper or the modern version, finger to key…

It was only after watching a Ted Talk ( I am so very fond of them, and plan to give one in the future) about taking 10 minutes a day to “recalibrate your brain” by doing nothing. I mean literally nothing. No email, no phone, no television, no radio and just let your brain have thoughts without judgement. Previous to this the only experience I have had with meditation is that its my favourite part of any yoga class because at that point I am relaxed enough to let my brain rest or more recently watching Julia Roberts in “Eat, Pray, Love” struggle to meditate and quiet her mind for more than a minute.

You are likely thinking you need incense and the ability to pose like a champion gymnast but you don’t. I sat in my recliner, and set my timer for 10 minutes. I closed my eyes and started breathing. I will not lie to you and say it was easy. I found myself distracted by everything, the hum of the air conditioner, the sounds outside, the itch that suddenly made itself known on the back of my knee, wondering what time it was and trying to suss out exactly how much longer I had before I was done. I then thought about what Andy Puddicombe said, when was the last time you took to do nothing and I literally can not remember and considering that your brain is responsible for so much and processes so much, my poor brain needs a break so I shook it all off and just focused on my breathing and then all these ideas started to come to me and I let them just happen, no judgement and just let them flit by like colorful, but undeveloped film and then my timer sounded and I realized exactly what I wanted to write about.  

Here’s a hint, I had this idea to post a blog while I was meditating, not before and this is only after 10 minutes, I wonder what could happen when I do it 10 minutes a day for a month? What could it do for you, think about it….

Here is the Ted Talk referenced below

http://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes.html

How to say no!

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Being a people pleaser for most of my life, I have long struggled with this concept of saying no.

When I directed my first show in 2008, I learned to say it nicely. It went something like this, 
“I am the director and in my vision, I see it this way so this is how we will do it.” When I directed my third show in 2010 I said it with more force and it really tested my ability to please. In that case,  I pleased myself and our audiences greatly. Looking back, I see that as a great victory.

In 2011, when planning our wedding, I had to learn to say it all over again and to people I loved and cared about but it was the end of the people pleaser as a default response.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get occasional bouts of “I don’t want to make anyone mad or hurt their feelings” but I am able to quash those impulses fairly easily when thinking about the pain it will cause in the long run by saying yes, or going along and going along till you just can’t take it anymore and you say NO, I WILL NOT DO THAT. It’s much better to let someone know up front that you do not want to do what they want you to do. I am not advocating you start bellowing NO at everyone you know but realize that you have a finite capacity of things you can do and things you can not do or more importantly do not WANT to do and say no accordingly.

The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. You can’t hope that it will magically happen because someone read your mind and sees your deepest hopes and desires. Learning to say no, is honoring yourself before others. It is one of the skills I am proudest of developing.

Now, here is the hard part, let me ask you. Who or what do you need to say no to today? Do it!

From XL to L in 6 months- Yes, you read that right!

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I am SO excited to be wearing the shirt my husband had made for me with my slogan

“Nobody has a voice like Kermit, just like nobody has a voice like you”

as created in my 10th speech (detailed here)

https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2012/11/)

Jeremy originally bought it from CafePress in a Large thinking it would fit me but realized after it arrived it was too small, but due to CafePress being super amazing , they let him keep it and then sent him the 2X which I happily tore into on Christmas morning and have been wearing for months with the duplicate in the back of my drawer waiting, waiting, I tried it on this morning and OH MY GOD, ladies and germs it fits!

Thanks to Paleo and all the wonderful changes my husband and I have been implementing I have never looked or felt better. I am still working towards my ideal weight but more important than the weight loss is the increased confidence and overall happiness!

See for yourselfImage

What do you do when what you want doesn’t happen?

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As many of you know, I was up for a part in a play I adore and was doing everything I could to get picked. I was not picked and while I am upset ( I am human after all! ) I am excited to see what is next on the agenda that I am meant to do because this did not pan out.

Key takeaways from the experience?

1. Be Prepared. I practiced and practiced and practiced and received coaching from people I respect ( you know who you are) and felt extremely prepared, more so than for any audition I have ever had before. Yep, after almost 15 years of acting I just wrote that. Staggering.

2. Think Positive. I used to say Prepare for the Worst, Expect the Best and Adapt to the Outcome but that is such a defeatist attitude.. From now on, let’s just prepare for the best and adapt to the outcome whether its what you want or not.

3. Working hard is important but its not everything. – Sometimes you can do everything right and work as hard as you can but someone else or other factors make the final decision so in that case are you going to gnash your teeth and wear your hair shirt? No. Just work as hard as you can. That way if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, you can console yourself with the knowledge that you did all you could do to affect a positive outcome.

If nothing else, I had the chance to act and work with others for a night even if it wasn’t for a full run. I often have to remind myself as an actor it’s not my job to get the gig. It’s my job to audition, audition and then audition some more.

What are you working on? What is your dream? Tell me about it? I would love to encourage you on your journey!

I am Shattering Expectations, you can too!

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This Saturday I am walking in a 5K. I will pause for your reaction.

This former fat kid, who was told many times, “you have such a pretty face, you just need to get rid of the baby fat” is walking in a 5K. I never thought that was possible. I use the phrase “shattering expectations” very purposefully. I have a picture of myself as fat which started in middle school and pervades daily. My only choice is to shatter that image with everything that I do that defies that image.

So when I look in the mirror I do not see the slimming figure I am becoming. I see the overweight teenager who was mercilessly teased. In other words, someone who would NEVER walk a 5K let alone run in one. (my next goal)

Funny thing about memories, they aren’t always accurate. In this case, they aren’t even close. I was recently going through some pictures of me in sixth grade (see below) and I am not fat, was not fat and this was my figure going through high school but somewhere along the way someone told me I was fat and I believed it over and over and over again and it is only now in looking back and considering the things I told myself and the relationship I have with food that I realize I am a healthy weight for my size and losing the weight is within my grasp and I have already lost 45 pounds of the weight I have carried along with a lot of negative thoughts about myself.

What do you say about yourself that when looked at through anothers eyes simply isn’t true? Image

Drum Roll Please……

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As of 6/1/2013 I have lost an additional 5 pounds making my total for the year 54 pounds. I now have to set a new goal, because my goal was 50 pounds for the year, and now I have met that goal.

I am shocked and amazed that the steps we have taken with paleo (If you are interested in Paleo- this is where we go for all our information, http://www.thepaleomom.com/)  have made such a difference. I shouldn’t be but I am. I mean, you hear all your life eat good food and exercise and you will have good health, seems really simple right? Well, when you get right down to it, it actually is. It boils down to baby steps, and figuring out what your overall goal is and then taking steps every day to work on it. If you fail, so what, you learned something new and that adds to your experience. Start again, try again, you are worth it!

When I started this, my goal was to get in better health. I have achieved that and tripped into some nice benefits like increased levels of confidence, more energy and of course weight loss. I think the biggest thing I have learned on the journey thus far is that your thinking will determine your action. Or put another way as Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude not your aptitude determines your altitude”

It sounds like a great motivational platitude but in truth it matters. Positive Mental Attitude.

If you need science to back this up, I invite you to check out this youtube video

So what does this mean to you, dear reader? Simple. Figure out what you want to do and start doing it, little by little. Do you want to learn a new language? Run a marathon? It is all within your reach. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Make a plan and follow it. If it doesn’t work, try something else. If it does work, examine what happened to make it go well, and repeat!

 

You control your life. Did you know?

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So I walked into work yesterday and someone brought donuts. My husband and I are doing a major lifestyle change including eating a paleo diet. For those that don’t know, you are allowed to cheat one day a week and hubby and I cheated Sunday. So there was no way for me to rationalize having a donut but man did I want one…. which got me to thinking each time I walked by, why do I want a donut so badly. Yes they are delicious, but you know what is better than a donut? Knowing that I lost 3 pounds last week by eating healthy foods and exercising. Is it hard to do that? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I will not die if I do not eat a donut but continuing down the path I was headed could have led to heart disease, obesity and other health problems. I am not out of the woods, I still have 50 more pounds to go, but I am gaining (ha ha) on the first 50. I only have 12 more pounds until I hit 50 pounds lost.

In a burst of I-can-really-be-a-different-person-if-I-only-try, I signed up for a 5K on June 15th. I am walking it, not running it, and can’t even really believe it myself but there was a time I thought I could not LIVE without chocolate or cheese, or bread or potatoes and 6 out of 7 days of a week sometimes more….. I now do. Amazing what we can do when we try.

What would happen if you did that thing you were scared of, what would that look like? Think about it.

One step in front of the other..

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I hate going to the gym. Every time it comes to “gymming” its the same thing, I have to rev myself up to go, get the bag of stuff together, remember the water bottle and then get in the car and drive to the gym dreading it every second of the drive.  I have come to the conclusion that the paleo diet is not enough, I need to add regular exercise to start losing weight again. I had such high hopes for today, I was going to go to a 10:30 Zumba class and then go to the bank and go the grocery store and do some other errands I have been neglecting all week because I have been taking care of my husband who is recovering from hernia surgery. Thank goodness he is healing much faster than the doctor expected!

But back to me and my gym woes, so I slept in till 9:30 and while I could have made the class I decided to sleep in some more and then head to the gym a little later. So I finally got there at 2pm and realized I didn’t have my ipod, grumble. However I was bound and determined that I would go to the gym today and work out no matter what so in I went. I headed straight for the treadmill and the bargaining process started right away, I can do 10 minutes and that will be better than nothing, and as the led lights flashed 10 minutes, I thought I can do 15, and then 20 and then I saw that I had traveled 1 mile.. and then said okay, I will make it to 30 and then do a cool-down. I know there are likely many people who ran a 5K today, or ran for an hour at the gym or did things a lot more impressive but after tallying it up I feel pretty good about my progress. I am satisfied with what I did today and I will work out a little longer the next time I do.  

I convinced myself to keep going because how can I be in integrity to the people I coach , telling them to do “one more repetition” or “keep trying” if I am not willing to do it myself?

To give the final score: 165 calories burned, 2.8 miles per hour, 1.5 miles traveled. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. My new goal is to go 45 minutes the next time I work out. How about you? What goals are you working on? What do you want to accomplish? Think about it!

Follow your dream at 8, 18 or 80! and all the years in between!

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“You had a dream, you know great! When you were 8, it was adorable, at 18 it was inspiring, at 28 it’s officially embarrassing, I just want you to stop before we get to heartbreaking.” This is what a mother says to her child to get her to “grow up and give up on her dream” after she gets laid off from her job in television news in the movie “Morning Glory” (it’s only 8 minutes in so really not a spoiler. The movie is very inspiring to me and I recommend it to you any time you need a kick in your rear to get it in gear on your dream.

It’s fictional, yes but this scenario is too often played out in real life with our friends, lovers and acquaintances. Think about it, what was your dream when you were 8? For me it was to be a professional actress and I said it to anyone who would listen and some who didn’t. I was told by several people, you will never make any money at that, you should have a back-up plan. I also heard, well its such a competitive business and there are millions of people doing it and you will wind up starving in a garret eating tuna out of cans. I was dejected and depressed by this, and while developing a back-up plan to become a lawyer, (which never came to fruition, by the way) I followed my dream and have found success and money as an actress while making a living doing something else. I did this in spite of many people telling me I couldn’t because I had a solid support system telling me I could do whatever I set my mind to, and so I have. So as it turns out, what my friends and relatives said, isn’t true, I have actually made money working in theatre. Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I want you to think about that and remember it the next time someone tells you that you can’t do something.  They don’t know what you have in you, and they are predicting a future they can not possibly see. When someone talks to you about their dream, you have a tremendous amount of power, you can lift them up or you can crush them with just a few words, so choose them carefully and work to inspire anyone you can to do anything they want to do. The possibility in that is amazing. Who can you inspire today? What can you do to follow your dream at 18, 23, or 42? Give yourself grace for the past, but start now in whatever way you can! It’s not too late, I promise!

Don’t be afraid to delete!

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How often do you read a message and feel the pressure to keep it “just in case”? Well I am here to tell you here and now, that anything you need to keep, you put in a folder.

I have been looking for ways to simplify and declutter my life and one of the most recent tips was to archive and and categorize your emails. Take the time to unsubscribe from those emails that waste your time. I did something crazy. I deleted everything in my inbox and you know what? The sky DID NOT FALL.

It was a staggering 5061 emails. Because I so heartily detest text messages, I get more than most. I don’t tell you this to impress you, likely you have more or slightly less but I feel so much better when logging in now and seeing what I need to deal with NOW and if it can wait, I will make sure to respond in a week or its deleted.

I think for most of us, the intent to respond is there but we are so locked into, I will respond later, but we never do. Unless its something you need to take action on or save for future reference (how strict you are on that is entirely up to you) DELETE IT! and don’t look back!

How much time could you free up by doing this? Think about it!