Tag: motivation

Make a difference. Right where you are…

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Friends, I have to tell you I am extremely passionate about making a difference and helping others realize their dreams and if you are reading this, chances are you are one of three types of people.

1. Friend of mine who reads my blog because you have been asked to. (thanks!)

2. Someone who I gave a card to and you are checking out the blog address on the back (thanks)

3. Someone who is searching for “motivation and advice” and so my blog comes up in your search as something you should read (thanks!)

For whatever reason, you have been directed to my blog, my podium and soapbox for all things I am passionate about and the list is legion.

However, back to you, my gentle reader who is the reason I write. I was recently lucky enough to be exposed to a wonderful podcast all about making a difference right where you are which I think is a wonderful notion. I can’t speak for anyone else but I can tell you I often say to myself, “well, when I am (speaking professionally) (have more experience) (have my masters) (have my new position) (FILL IN THE BLANK with your perfect state of being) I will have such wonderful things to say on that topic and I can’t wait to help people” well the truth is I have everything I need to help people (if they need it) right now. All I have to do is listen and make myself available to be there for someone who needs help. It sounds simple because it is.

The truth is, that you have opportunities every day to help people. I am not talking about money, but occasionally 20.00 can make a real difference to someone struggling. You can offer to spend time reading to someone who can’t read, you can listen to someone who desperately needs to talk, you can just sit there silently and smile as they vent because that might be what they need.

You can be there in many ways for other people, all you have to do is look around. I have recently started asking successful people their best practices for how they got there and the thing that continues to come up is a generous spirit and a loving heart.

Here is the podcast from my friend, Tammy Helfrich who has inspired many people and continues to do so daily. She has interviews with people like Jon Acuff and many others.

http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/2013/07/01/right-where-you-are-introduction-podcast-episode-01/

I leave you with this question. Are you waiting to help people? Why?

Stop Worrying. Its interest on a debt that never comes due….

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I subscribe to a service called “Thoughts Become Things. Choose the good ones. Technically its called http://www.tut.com (Notes from the Universe) and what I love about this site is that occasionally because of goals I input into the website way back when “getting out of debt” or more specifically, “have financial harmony including balance” I get a message that has a specific message that is addressed to me, Jennifer and asks how that goal is going. I have recommended this website to many people because to me, its a B-12 shot of positivity for my day and there are days when the nugget of wisdom really hits home. Today was such a day.

The things that mystify you, Jennifer, need not worry you.

It’s a kind of mental check-up, and I like it. This tag line at the bottom of today’s message really spoke to me and I decided to blog about it because I tell people all the the time not to worry and to focus their energy on what you CAN do instead of worrying about what is to come or not to come yet I often do not take my own advice. Le sigh

Take me for example, I spent the better part of last week and weekend worrying about a confrontation with a really close friend and when the topic actually came up, it was no big deal. The reality was that when I dealt with it (duh) it was already solved but the information had not been imparted yet. I find that people deal better with issues if you have already worked on it and present the problem with a proposed answer, this is true in business and true in friendship.

So do yourself a favor, worry less and take action more. Think about it!

Auditioning for “The Voice”

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Auditions for “The Voice” are being held today and since my audition time was at 7 am I thought it would be a good idea to wake up early so my vocal cords were warm and ready to go by 7.. HA! I didn’t even get to sing till 11…  In any case, I got there to stand in line at 6:00 and they opened the doors and the line started to move and everyone got excited. I met this lovely mother and daughter in line and they were so obviously there for each other. From Missouri, they had to get plane tickets and hotel reservations, and in stark contrast, I had to get in my car.

The last time I auditioned, I remember being nervous and while I had a book, I didn’t read it, I was just so keyed up with the excitment in the room and listening to people talk about their song and their musical training and other auditions and just soaking it all in and we moved from room, to room to room (there were at least 10 when it was all said and done) at least this time there were only 4 stages. I ran into no one I knew which was surprising since in Austin, you usually do. This time I spent a lot of my time encouraging other people and talking to them about where they were from and more about what made them come audition. The stories were varied and very interesting and I have to say this is the first time I have been at an audition ( and I have been on a LOT) that I thoroughly enjoyed the environment and the “hopeful” buzz in the air of everyone after the same goal. I actually met one of the guys in my group who did a great song by Sinatra and actually said before he sang “I’m living my dream and so excited to be here” and it was charming and apparently the judges loved his singing and his personality becuase he advanced (good luck Bruce if you are reading this)  That kind of synergy is hard to come by so I am going to make a mental note to treasure it the next time I am at an audition and treat it for the gift that it is. While I feel I sang well, I was not what they were looking for…………………..this year.

What do you want to do that you are scared to do? I invite you to do it! Everyone is scared of something but sometimes that which we are the most scared to do is the thing we are called to do. Think about it.. and let me know how its going! 

jennifermckennasays@gmail.com – I am excited to hear about your dream!!!

Meet yourself where you are… Mental Check-up!

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I had occasion to spend some time catching up with a good friend yesterday and we were talking about career plans and dreams we are currently chasing and it occurred to me its

time to check in…

Intentions- Less tv. More Books–

Netflix is still tv but I have cut my tv watching in half!

1. Spend more time in person. Less Facebook.

Still struggling with this, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I want to know what’s going on with my friends who I don’t see everyday but then there are the people who post all day long because they are excited ( I have been guilty of this) and want to share with the world, but I sincerely believe Facebook is hindering our ability to really and truly connect with people.. an emoticon is nice but its not the same thing as a real smile shared over coffee. I have been doing my best to find a happy balance.. Its a work in progress

2. Read 10 books, I have read 7. Some good, some just fun!

3. Give 10 effective speeches, I have given 7. I feel myself getting better each time or more accurately, finding things to make me better the next time up.

4. Lose 50 pounds. I have actually lost 50 but the new goal  is 100 and I am finding that challenging (last week represents an almost total lack of adherence to the paleo diet and I gained the 7 pounds to prove it. My husband and I discussed it and the truth is that we both needed a break, we have been RELIGIOUS for 7 months so it was time to fail and fail with gusto. For example, I didn’t just eat one cookie from the breakroom on the 4th of July, I ate 4. I didn’t just have half a breakfast taco, I had 2.

Yep, you read that right, time to fail. I feel much better this week and we have both rededicated our efforts to our health. But we both agree that this was a needed departure because you can’t do something that radical to your diet and not have a breakdown somewhere so last week for the breakdown, this week for the resurgence of dedication and devotion to the goal of great health.. Here’s to you!

What are you doing today? What are you doing this week? How about this month? Let me know how I can encourage you!

How to say no!

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Being a people pleaser for most of my life, I have long struggled with this concept of saying no.

When I directed my first show in 2008, I learned to say it nicely. It went something like this, 
“I am the director and in my vision, I see it this way so this is how we will do it.” When I directed my third show in 2010 I said it with more force and it really tested my ability to please. In that case,  I pleased myself and our audiences greatly. Looking back, I see that as a great victory.

In 2011, when planning our wedding, I had to learn to say it all over again and to people I loved and cared about but it was the end of the people pleaser as a default response.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get occasional bouts of “I don’t want to make anyone mad or hurt their feelings” but I am able to quash those impulses fairly easily when thinking about the pain it will cause in the long run by saying yes, or going along and going along till you just can’t take it anymore and you say NO, I WILL NOT DO THAT. It’s much better to let someone know up front that you do not want to do what they want you to do. I am not advocating you start bellowing NO at everyone you know but realize that you have a finite capacity of things you can do and things you can not do or more importantly do not WANT to do and say no accordingly.

The only way to get what you want is to ask for it. You can’t hope that it will magically happen because someone read your mind and sees your deepest hopes and desires. Learning to say no, is honoring yourself before others. It is one of the skills I am proudest of developing.

Now, here is the hard part, let me ask you. Who or what do you need to say no to today? Do it!

I am Shattering Expectations, you can too!

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This Saturday I am walking in a 5K. I will pause for your reaction.

This former fat kid, who was told many times, “you have such a pretty face, you just need to get rid of the baby fat” is walking in a 5K. I never thought that was possible. I use the phrase “shattering expectations” very purposefully. I have a picture of myself as fat which started in middle school and pervades daily. My only choice is to shatter that image with everything that I do that defies that image.

So when I look in the mirror I do not see the slimming figure I am becoming. I see the overweight teenager who was mercilessly teased. In other words, someone who would NEVER walk a 5K let alone run in one. (my next goal)

Funny thing about memories, they aren’t always accurate. In this case, they aren’t even close. I was recently going through some pictures of me in sixth grade (see below) and I am not fat, was not fat and this was my figure going through high school but somewhere along the way someone told me I was fat and I believed it over and over and over again and it is only now in looking back and considering the things I told myself and the relationship I have with food that I realize I am a healthy weight for my size and losing the weight is within my grasp and I have already lost 45 pounds of the weight I have carried along with a lot of negative thoughts about myself.

What do you say about yourself that when looked at through anothers eyes simply isn’t true? Image

Drum Roll Please……

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As of 6/1/2013 I have lost an additional 5 pounds making my total for the year 54 pounds. I now have to set a new goal, because my goal was 50 pounds for the year, and now I have met that goal.

I am shocked and amazed that the steps we have taken with paleo (If you are interested in Paleo- this is where we go for all our information, http://www.thepaleomom.com/)  have made such a difference. I shouldn’t be but I am. I mean, you hear all your life eat good food and exercise and you will have good health, seems really simple right? Well, when you get right down to it, it actually is. It boils down to baby steps, and figuring out what your overall goal is and then taking steps every day to work on it. If you fail, so what, you learned something new and that adds to your experience. Start again, try again, you are worth it!

When I started this, my goal was to get in better health. I have achieved that and tripped into some nice benefits like increased levels of confidence, more energy and of course weight loss. I think the biggest thing I have learned on the journey thus far is that your thinking will determine your action. Or put another way as Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude not your aptitude determines your altitude”

It sounds like a great motivational platitude but in truth it matters. Positive Mental Attitude.

If you need science to back this up, I invite you to check out this youtube video

So what does this mean to you, dear reader? Simple. Figure out what you want to do and start doing it, little by little. Do you want to learn a new language? Run a marathon? It is all within your reach. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Make a plan and follow it. If it doesn’t work, try something else. If it does work, examine what happened to make it go well, and repeat!

 

One step in front of the other..

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I hate going to the gym. Every time it comes to “gymming” its the same thing, I have to rev myself up to go, get the bag of stuff together, remember the water bottle and then get in the car and drive to the gym dreading it every second of the drive.  I have come to the conclusion that the paleo diet is not enough, I need to add regular exercise to start losing weight again. I had such high hopes for today, I was going to go to a 10:30 Zumba class and then go to the bank and go the grocery store and do some other errands I have been neglecting all week because I have been taking care of my husband who is recovering from hernia surgery. Thank goodness he is healing much faster than the doctor expected!

But back to me and my gym woes, so I slept in till 9:30 and while I could have made the class I decided to sleep in some more and then head to the gym a little later. So I finally got there at 2pm and realized I didn’t have my ipod, grumble. However I was bound and determined that I would go to the gym today and work out no matter what so in I went. I headed straight for the treadmill and the bargaining process started right away, I can do 10 minutes and that will be better than nothing, and as the led lights flashed 10 minutes, I thought I can do 15, and then 20 and then I saw that I had traveled 1 mile.. and then said okay, I will make it to 30 and then do a cool-down. I know there are likely many people who ran a 5K today, or ran for an hour at the gym or did things a lot more impressive but after tallying it up I feel pretty good about my progress. I am satisfied with what I did today and I will work out a little longer the next time I do.  

I convinced myself to keep going because how can I be in integrity to the people I coach , telling them to do “one more repetition” or “keep trying” if I am not willing to do it myself?

To give the final score: 165 calories burned, 2.8 miles per hour, 1.5 miles traveled. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. My new goal is to go 45 minutes the next time I work out. How about you? What goals are you working on? What do you want to accomplish? Think about it!

Follow your dream at 8, 18 or 80! and all the years in between!

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“You had a dream, you know great! When you were 8, it was adorable, at 18 it was inspiring, at 28 it’s officially embarrassing, I just want you to stop before we get to heartbreaking.” This is what a mother says to her child to get her to “grow up and give up on her dream” after she gets laid off from her job in television news in the movie “Morning Glory” (it’s only 8 minutes in so really not a spoiler. The movie is very inspiring to me and I recommend it to you any time you need a kick in your rear to get it in gear on your dream.

It’s fictional, yes but this scenario is too often played out in real life with our friends, lovers and acquaintances. Think about it, what was your dream when you were 8? For me it was to be a professional actress and I said it to anyone who would listen and some who didn’t. I was told by several people, you will never make any money at that, you should have a back-up plan. I also heard, well its such a competitive business and there are millions of people doing it and you will wind up starving in a garret eating tuna out of cans. I was dejected and depressed by this, and while developing a back-up plan to become a lawyer, (which never came to fruition, by the way) I followed my dream and have found success and money as an actress while making a living doing something else. I did this in spite of many people telling me I couldn’t because I had a solid support system telling me I could do whatever I set my mind to, and so I have. So as it turns out, what my friends and relatives said, isn’t true, I have actually made money working in theatre. Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I want you to think about that and remember it the next time someone tells you that you can’t do something.  They don’t know what you have in you, and they are predicting a future they can not possibly see. When someone talks to you about their dream, you have a tremendous amount of power, you can lift them up or you can crush them with just a few words, so choose them carefully and work to inspire anyone you can to do anything they want to do. The possibility in that is amazing. Who can you inspire today? What can you do to follow your dream at 18, 23, or 42? Give yourself grace for the past, but start now in whatever way you can! It’s not too late, I promise!

Don’t be afraid to delete!

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How often do you read a message and feel the pressure to keep it “just in case”? Well I am here to tell you here and now, that anything you need to keep, you put in a folder.

I have been looking for ways to simplify and declutter my life and one of the most recent tips was to archive and and categorize your emails. Take the time to unsubscribe from those emails that waste your time. I did something crazy. I deleted everything in my inbox and you know what? The sky DID NOT FALL.

It was a staggering 5061 emails. Because I so heartily detest text messages, I get more than most. I don’t tell you this to impress you, likely you have more or slightly less but I feel so much better when logging in now and seeing what I need to deal with NOW and if it can wait, I will make sure to respond in a week or its deleted.

I think for most of us, the intent to respond is there but we are so locked into, I will respond later, but we never do. Unless its something you need to take action on or save for future reference (how strict you are on that is entirely up to you) DELETE IT! and don’t look back!

How much time could you free up by doing this? Think about it!