Often I remark to my husband how simply amazing he is. He brushes off the compliment or says thank you grudgingly but every day I am touched in places I didn’t even know I HAD- (back when I was dating losers and SETTLING in every way possible) by the little simple things he does to make my lift better, easier, and just plain fun.
Exhibit A- After our trip away this weekend, he noticed my tire was low and even though he had the next morning to sleep in, he got up without complaint and followed me on my way to work to be sure I didn’t have a blow out on the way to air it up.
Exhibit B- We are moving, which is fun (you get a new place) and annoying (you have to pack) but he is making it really easy by having us pack a little each day (his idea and talk about a stress reliever) especially when I came home the other night to find he had packed the entire garage while I was at work.
Exhibit C- I got a ticket for running a red light yesterday, which is embarrassing and I was so worried about him being mad and he smiled and said, “We will figure it out” and started looking up defensive driving classes and telling me about how we can fight the ticket (which I plan to.. that light was SO YELLOW!) which was such a relief to me because it encapsulates so beautifully his whole philosophy for any obstacles that come our way.
“WE” will figure it out.
After we were married, It took me a minute (read months) to get used to this pronoun, and at times, I resented having to “check in” to be sure “we” were free before making plans or if I was going to be out late with the girls… but now I cherish it. We are a team, and together we are better and stronger than we could ever be apart.
I could go on and on.. and often do but the biggest point of all this.. is that every day I fall a little more in love with this man who is literally the most understanding guy I have ever met and makes my world a fabulous one.. this picture is an example of how even if he is in pain, (he had hit his toe with a hammer the day before) he will take a foot picture for me..just because I ask.
I am in the midst of taking a course on personal growth and advancement and part of the homework assignment is to ask your nearest and dearest what they think are 3 personal strengths you possess.
The point of this exercise is to get you to see things about yourself that you don’t really see (usually because you are focused on challenges and opportunities) You are also supposed to list what you think your strengths are and not focus on your weaknesses which is where most of us tend to spend the most amount of time.
I don’t know what I was expecting to hear but it was really gratifying and humbling to hear things about myself I have not ever thought of as a strength but
“something I just do”
It reaffirms something I have long believed, we are all much more influential and powerful than we give ourselves credit for being. Put another way, we are our own worst critic. So I challenge you to do this for yourself, ask your circle what they see as your biggest strengths and be prepared to really take it in and not brush aside that assessment.
Think about it!
“When you build on your strengths, the activities using those strengths come more easily to you” -Deepak Chopra
Sometimes your passion for the topic needs to be stronger than your passion for people to like you. For a former people pleaser like me, this is a hard won lesson.
I gave a speech recently at my Toastmasters Club about how it is STUPID to TEXT and DRIVE- Check it out..Let me know your thoughts at jenniferhastonsays@gmail.com or comment below!
Dear Readers, I consider myself to be a very independent, take charge kind of woman so it’s always surprising to me how freeing it is to hand off something to my husband or close friends to handle. The offer comes so often, “let me know if I can help.” “Let me know what I can do” but we so rarely take it!
When was the last time you asked for help or support? Are you afraid to do that? Why? There is a reason that TEAM stands for
Together
Everyone
Accomplishes
More
Don’t be scared to ask for help, the response you get might REALLY surprise you!
Dear Readers, this is not a new concept.. it’s actually been around long before I drew a breath, but its a worthy reminder- here are just a few quotes to illustrate
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. -Colin Powell
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. – Walt Disney
In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. -Dalai Lama
Last night I was privileged to take part in an activity called “Vision Boarding” and though I have never done it before I really enjoyed thinking about my life and what is coming and what I want. The range is as broad or as narrow as you DESIRE.
This is all about YOU. Being selfish is not only allowed its ENCOURAGED in this exercise.
Do you want a different career or move up in the job you have? Do you want to travel more or less? Do you want to be something you are not today? Put it in writing or put it in pictures and then put it in FRONT of you so you have a visual representation of what you are working towards and BELIEVE it!
It has already made a difference in the choices I am making and more importantly the words I am using to describe myself and my future.
My blog is directly related to the things that happen or don’t happen in my life and I do my best to be honest with you, my readers, in the hope that something I say will inspire you to action in your own life. So here is my question-
Is your friendship on life support?The more important question is- Should it be or is it time to pull the plug?
A few caveats, people get sick, they have kids, they have other friends, jobs, and responsibilities and for that I do make allowances until it becomes clear that the person I am trying to be friends with doesn’t really care about me at all. This is the time when you just have to say enough is enough and pull the plug. The catalyst for me making this decision was a few weeks ago, I went to The Smart Conference in Dallas and was privileged to hear Dr. Henry Cloud (author of the book , “Necessary Endings” who gave a really excellent speech about the necessary pruning we must do in our lives. In a nutshell, he talks about getting rid of the relationships or aspects of our lives that are “dead or dying” — which got me thinking, how
So a few words about this, there are relationships that grow you and change you and support you and there are then people who just make you feel bad about yourself or can ONLY talk about themselves and spending time with them is always a version of The __________ Show — (you know what I mean) and those are the ones I am proposing you prune. Life is too short, we all have lots of things we are doing so I tell you now, the next time you set up plans to spend time with someone think about what you get out of that friendship. This is not about “what have you done for me lately?” this is about what does “this friendship” do for me?
On Sunday, I ran a 10 mile race. It was harder than I thought and easier than I thought. It should be noted that like so many other things in life this is a baby step of many to get me to that marathon status which is down the road for me.
First of all, I should clarify something, up till Sunday, I had only done 5K’s but after Sunday, I have now done a 15K!!!!!!
a brief recap
Vern’s No Frills- January 18, 2014
Biggest Loser- March 29, 2014
Color Run- May 24, 2014
Casa 5K-September 21, 2014
Holiday 5K Zilker- December 6, 2014
Austin 1020- 10 Mile Run Walk– March 29, 2015
That is 6 different events spanned over several months.. but its worth mentioning that each time I ran (this weekend being no exception) it was different– Vern’s No Frills was crazy cold and and we walked more than we ran but, baby steps. The Biggest Loser was great weather and the run went really well, my partner Susie said she had NEVER seen me run that fast. The Color Run was a LOT of walking.. I just wasn’t in shape for that one.. It was tagged as a FUN run and that was more about me getting out of my comfort zone (see I hate being messy) than a run… CASA was crazy hot and the worst race conditions.. but it was my husband’s first run and super fun to have him there along with Jessica and Adam, Susie, Keely, Michael and CJ.. our team also raised a lot of money for CASA so it was lucrative in other ways. Holiday 5K was actually a 3K but I kept going to make it a full 5K, wasn’t ready for that one either and it was a pretty rough “trail run” and at night.. won’t be doing that again.
So, 10 miles — what can I say about that.. First, I found myself thinking pretty nasty thoughts about the runners ahead of me when I was on mile 4 and they were on mile 8…. ( I think its pretty natural to hate the runner ahead of you sorry but its true… ) Second, the people behind me, I felt pretty good I was ahead of them but was working on keeping myself motiviated. Flashback to before the race, you know how when a big event is looming and you go back and forth between looking forward to it and dreading it/ getting nervous about it? What do you do about that?
I employed several devices. I asked for support from all my “fans” on facebook and twitter and asked some people for some support and motivational messages. It is HARD for me to ask for help but I really needed it. The response was overwhelming. I had people post to support me that I don’t even know that well and tell me how much what I was doing was inspiring them. It really helped drive home the fact that one person really does make a difference. I also drank water and made the decision that while it would be slow (turtle trudging through mud) I would do it and finish. It wasn’t an option to stop and it wasn’t an option to quit.I also had Susie and Jessica who kept encouraging me through the weeks before the race that I could and would in fact do it.
As I say so often, because it is so true, It is allllllll about the baby steps-
I compare it to our debt-free journey. We have been doing lots of things to get debt-free but there are no short-cuts and slow, plodding, step by baby step, dollar by dollar, mile by mile we WILL get there. At one point during the race, I thought to myself it is funny, when you are in it, it doesn’t seem that hard, but before it you build up all this anticipation about how hard it is GOING to be. Mental note to self- Think less, do more. The person who got me through it when the going got hardest was Jessica, she had a running commentary about how I was getting my money’s worth by taking it slowly and not “racing” to the finish. She joined me at mile 4.2 to keep me going, support me and NOT LET ME QUIT. She told me she was proud of me throughout and it really helped to move me through it. At the last mile, (she went above and beyond by pretending to be a cheetah coming to “get” gazelle me (with sound effects) which helped me put some extra bounce in my final steps. As they say, you want to run to the finish, not walk.
JMac finishes 10 miles!
I told her I wanted to finish by myself and I did. It FELT INCREDIBLE to take that last stride and finish. I feel extremely accomplished but its important to note, I did not do this alone. I had support and that made all the difference.
Think about it……… and go support someone’s goal today. And if you are pursuing a goal, ASK for help! Sometimes that one encouraging word, phone call, or note can make the difference.
Next Sunday I will walk and run in a 10 mile race. So scary to see that in black and white.. but its the truth, I put my money down, I have trained and prepared and am on the cusp of accomplishing a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL.
In the history of the world, at one time or another there was time that something had not yet been done.
While running a 10 mile run is not on par with discovering a cure for cancer (as yet undone but any day now someone is going to wow us with that one) for my life it recommends a sea change in activity, lifestyle, health and overall goal-setting.
I invite you reading this to approach any goal or change in your life in the same way. Just this morning, one of my running buddies helped me see how important it is to take stock in what you have done, are doing and have yet to DO.
Texting and Driving is stupid. I know, I know. You only do it when at a red light or in traffic and stopped or when you are SURE its safe. Why risk it? I know, you are busy and this time is really important to be sure you have multi-texted your way through a red light. Heaven forbid, you actually be present in your own life and ENJOY traffic, yep I said enjoy traffic. Seriously, think about this.
When was the last time you were bored? Really, no phone, no facebook, no emails to read. Just sitting and staring into space. I bet you can’t remember. We are so caught up in that next post, what’s next fever that we can’t even bear to be bored.
It’s actually important to take this time- Studies show that spacing out inspires creativity and deep contemplation. Be present. Text or Drive. Do not do both!
We are so wrapped up in being connected, we sometimes miss out on real connections.
Marcelo Gleiser a world-renowned theoretical physicist and cosmologist said this-Technology should serve to enhance how people experience our world, and not as a substitution for experience itself.
Just two weeks ago I did my favourite kind of research. Unintentional Research .. its called life. My husband and I had carpooled to an event but I didn’t think about needing my phone or purse or anything until later that night when I realized I did not have my PHONE! The horror! My pulse quickened and my breathing was labored. My panic was literally going into overdrive.. I need my phone, I can’t text anyone about running tomorrow and how am I going to get up in the morning to run and on and on on.. So my husband said, I will wake you up and we will get up their earlier to get your car no problem. I realized that next day that the phone I was so concerned about was sitting in the console as we argued. If I had just stopped and thought about it, I would have realized, I could have sent a message on social media to my friends to confirm running the next day and used his phone or God forbid, an old-fashioned alarm clock to wake up. It’s a beautiful and terrible thing we have done to ourselves..
So this post is aimed to do two things..
One and most importantly- IF you text and drive, I beg you. STOP. The internet is populated with so many PSA’s about why its stupid, but the life you save could be your own.
Two. Find ways to be bored. Don’t depend on facebook or your phone to fill your life. Go outside (especially today, its GORGEOUS!) go talk to a stranger or go soak up the sunshine and just revel in the joy there is in being alive.
I am prepping to walk/run a 10 mile race in 24 days.. AIYEEEEE .. that is a very scary thing in black and white but its the truth and one of my running buddies said, you know I know you are busy at work but you really need to get on it to make that 10 mile race count.. I agreed with her (grudgingly) and she said.. start walking twenty minutes on your lunch. I have been at this two weeks now and I have to say it makes a world of difference in my outlook!
It truly refreshes the soul to walk away and be outside (okay its 40 degrees so I didn’t stay out there but I did walk up and down the stairs 7 times in 20 minutes)
This post is not to brag on myself, its to tell you that baby steps are crucial. I have said it time and time again. Meet yourself where you are. If you are tired today, walk for five minutes. If you are having a good day, walk for twenty.. Strive to do better tomorrow but don’t beat yourself up for what you “didn’t do” today.
Go, Do, BE! Go be Awesome — whatever that looks like for you TODAY!
Haston Helping Hands 