Author: TheBossOfBalance

I gave a homeless person 5.00 today. I don’t tell you this to brag about myself, because 5.00 isn’t really that much. Now, I don’t know if he is really homeless but he seemed to be in need and was grateful. I normally do not do that, justifying to myself, I work hard for my money why should I just give someone else that hard-earned cash? Then I stop and think, what if that were me, standing outside in the cold and rain and I had fallen down on my luck (doesn’t really take much) a job loss, a health issue. There really is a thin line between us all as humans. We all hurt, we all suffer, we all love, and we all laugh some more than others.

Yes, you and I work hard for our money but that doesn’t mean we should be miserly with it. I think about that around this time of year and I am ashamed to say this is the first Christmas that I am not thinking hard about “What am I going to get?” , I have been thinking more and more, I have everything I need. What can I do or say to give something back?

I recently joined an online group whose sole purpose is to help other achieve their fantastical, chimerical, wonderful, amazing out of this world goals that they haven’t been able to do thus far or are on the road to the goal but need a push, as they have hit a plateau. I think that two heads are better than one and four heads are better than two and so on, So I am super jazzed to start this process. It is scary but it is also so exciting to know there are so many other people out there with goals and dreams that are too scary to say out loud for fear of ridicule or comments from the peanut gallery. The way I see it, your dream lives as long as you give it life, and to give it life, you have to give it breath and to give it breath is to give it words. An example:

I want to write things that inspire people to live the life they truly want to live.

I want to lose 50 pounds.

I want to find something to do once a day that intimidates me.

What is scaring you and more importantly what plan do you have for feeling the fear, but doing it anyway? I believe in you!

“Babydoll, I left you the Asian rice. Dollface”

Out of context, this note from my husband seems casual and not a huge sacrifice, but coupled with the other small acts, like frog socks to get me over a migraine, Godiva when I am in a bad mood, going to the store just one more time for the specific tea I like, just makes me grateful every day that I married such a prince. I call him a prince because he constantly makes me feel like a princess despite being a practical, pragmatic woman of thirty-five. He daily provides magic.

Now he isn’t perfect and we have our problems, but it’s small actions like this one that make me want to be a better wife and friend. He doesn’t think twice to do something for me just to make me happy and that is the kind of person I am striving to be. It doesn’t take much, just a call to a friend when they haven’t called in a while instead of an email or text. Maybe offering your time instead of your money to a volunteer effort. Perhaps there is a person you have neglected to be there for. It’s not too late to do that now. What can you do TODAY that is little to you, but might mean the WORLD to someone else?

Well dear readers, I do not know how many of you have been watching the truckload of people on social media and other sites tracking the reasons that they are grateful to the universe, God, Allah or any other deity. I have been watching all of this go on with a rather disdainful air, thinking to myself, why can’t they be grateful quietly, why must they put on a show? Then recently, I was reminded of the ripple effect. If a person says why they are grateful publicly it encourages others to think about why they should be grateful and furthermore inspires the “pay it forward” concept that I am such a fan of and which governs my daily life.

Bearing that in mind, I thought it was time to put out my own list..

1. I am grateful to be alive, breathing, walking, talking and healthy.

2. I am immeasurably grateful to be married to a man who is a partner, friend and encourager of me and my goals.

3. I am grateful to friends that make my life wonderful.

4. I am grateful to have a job I enjoy and where I am admired and respected.

5. I am grateful to have passion and ambition to always strive for bettering myself and helping others.

What are you grateful for?

How often do you ask someone, how was your day? and get the answer which is a litany of complaints or dissatisfaction?. If you are me, you not only hear it from others, you say it yourself. In a discussion with a friend, I thought what would it be like if you asked, “What was awesome about your day?” think about the empowerment you could create through one question. There is a movie I love that shows the family at a kitchen table talking about the High/Low of their day. What a great way to talk instead of “What did you learn in school today?” or “How was your day?” Let’s all be mindful and remember,  What you do, say, and think matters. Make sure what you do moves things forward, not backward.

Confession time. Though I adore Kermit the Frog and The Muppets in general. I have to admit I never really saw the appeal of Elmo. I thought he was red and loud and squeaky and really the antithesis of Kermit. How wrong can one person be?

Really, really, REALLY wrong. On Saturday, I was wearing my Muppets as Beatles on Abbey Road, t-shirt, so my music teacher told me about a great documentary I should check out called, “Being Elmo”, a great story about the puppeteer who created the famous muppet. Not being a big Elmo fan, I was skeptical but thought, hey maybe they will talk about Kermit. I sat down ready to “endure” Elmo’s genesis to get some Kermit/Jim Henson tidbits. What I experienced was a great story about someone following his dream to work with Muppets on Sesame Street. He had a dream and followed it and took wonderful chances and made great personal sacrifices. Not only did this man work with Kermit Love, Jim Henson, and Frank Oz he was respected by all of them and a lot of other people. He does work with the Make A Wish Foundation and countless other organizations that are actively engaged in making people’s dreams come true and I found out when he created Elmo he was told by Frank Oz to find a hook, the one thing that would make that character work, and so he decided it would be about love. Elmo always loves you, Elmo is always happy to see you. What I learned much to my delighted surprise, Elmo embodies all things Kermit, just in red fur not green fleece. Color me Tickled.

Think for a second about the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare-

Slow and steady wins the race, you hear that and think yes, but I KNOW I can do it faster, or use this shortcut or find a quicker way to do this task, why would I take the time to slowly, methodically do it?  Well the answer is simple. You hurt yourself by giving up the opportunity to learn. Think back on the last time you had something you had to do that was difficult, there was a process to get there and likely it wasn’t rocket surgery. Now, after you completed your difficult task, did you get a feeling of accomplishment? Yes and no shortcut would be nearly as satisfying.

In our society of hurry up and go, its very tempting to use a microwave when a crockpot will do the job much better.

I find it on my heart and more importantly on my mind to talk about boundaries. Choosing your friends wisely is important, and you choose your friends in the act of spending time with them. Think about it, by spending your time, (as precious a commodity as money) you are sending the message I care about you, your life, your dreams and hopes. Relationships, romantic or otherwise require work and equal amounts of effort. It’s not always easy in the maelstrom of work, love, life and the pursuit of happiness to support friendships but its almost always worth it.

Boundaries are important, if for no other reason then it sets up for people you interact with what you will accept and what you will not. This includes boundaries for your friends, colleagues, and partners. It is so easy to just let things be what they will and its hard sometimes to ask for what you want but in my experience it is the only way to get it.  So if you are unhappy with the state of your relationship, ask yourself the question. 1. What do I want? 2. What am I doing to get it? 3. How is that working?

If you know what you want, and are doing all can to get it and its not working, the problem isn’t you.

You can’t just talk about it, if there is something you are passionate about it, its time to do something about getting you there.. What do you want to do? Climb Mount Everest? Plant a vegetable garden? Learn a new language? Too busy? Well, we make time for the things that are important, so if it is really important you will find a way to do it, think about that the next time you make an excuse instead of a move toward your dream!