Author: TheBossOfBalance

Haston Helping Hands- Jenn Haston- Author, Speaker, Activist-Helping People Find Their Balance

Stepping out!

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Dear Readers,

FootPhotoBall2015

I had the absolute privilege of attending a glittery gala event on Saturday (which I chose to view as a BALL that I, who never had a debutante ball (which are very big in New Orleans where I am from) would get to go to with my real-life Prince Charming. We planned for months to wear fancy outfits complete with shoes, hat and fancy hairdo. Now, I should clarify something. Prince Charming is not perfect, he is human and has flaws but he is perfect for me and I rediscover that daily. My childhood was not the happiest and when an opportunity for a do-over pops up, I have to give him credit, he really makes up for the past misdeeds of others.

So a little back story, I picked a gorgeous blue satin dress for my bridesmaids to wear to our wonderful wedding in 2011. My maids, being lovely submitted to my desire for blue (being my favourite colour it was the natural choice) and had dresses made in different styles but all in the color blue. After the wedding was over, one of them said, “I love you but I am NEVER wearing this again, do you want it? “Yes! Maybe I can wear it!” and an idea began to take shape…. now she is smaller than I am so it took me a while to be able to fit into it, but with a fabulous seamstress, paleo diet and frequent exercise I was able to wear it and if I do say so myself, I look FABULOUS! By the way, for anyone reading this, I think this a great tradition that we should start, because if you think about it, the bride really does pick the dress “she” wants and no matter how hard you try, we normally don’t pick something that flatters “you” so what a great idea to take the bridesmaid dress and recycle it into something the bride gets to wear? Maybe a dress or a purse or a skirt.. the possibilities are pretty vast!

JennJeremy&BHFebruary2015

I want to talk about the ball for a second because it was wonderful to be so dressed up and fancy and pretending to be rich (people at the next table were bidding up to 15,000 which is nowhere near our budget, YET!!!) and it was a lovely night that I will not soon forget populated by dancing, food and lively conversation

However, to be completely frank, I had just as much fun having fast food on the way home (munchies struck us!) with my very hungry man! I told him one of my favourite things about him is that he is always fun to be with whether in a drive through or arm in arm on our way to a fancy dress up ball!

Why do we feel guilty when doing self-care?

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Dear Readers,

Maybe its just me, but when I get a pedicure or a manicure or a massage, I always feel a little bit guilty about the money or the time or the fact that it is someone’s job to take care of my feet and hands or my hair or my back. I may be alone here but I have trouble spending money on myself. It may be a by-product of being told “Jenny, we can’t afford it” all through my life but I say its time to break that pattern. This wasn’t a habit or attitude developed in a day so it will take time to adjust. So if you hear me saying anything like that, go.. “ahem”!!!!

I work hard, and deserve to be pampered, (hard to write but its a step!)Another big step is going to a real, honest to goodness BALL (that is not a typo) with my very own Prince Charming on Saturday night. It is a dream come true to go to a BALL and to wear a fancy dress and sparkly shoes.. and I can’t wait. One of the reasons I was doing all this self-care and pampering was to be ready for that BALL!

I am not hurting anyone and some might even argue I am keeping massage therapists, hair dressers and pedicurists and manicurists employed. The other day I walked into a nail salon and they were dead (likely because it was cold) but as I let myself fully enjoy the chair massage, the arm and leg massage I realized how long it had been since I had really let myself enjoy it and not focus on my phone or my magazine or the other person I was with or more importantly feeling guilty about the sheer luxury of it, while doing this very necessary, very rejuvenating treatment for myself. My mood was much improved and I wasn’t even in a bad mood!

You don’t have to spend a lot either! I had a gift certificate from a very lovely friend and I STILL felt guilty. I don’t have the feeling that I am alone in this so shout out and share. Let’s all embrace the idea that we deserve to be pampered and this not just for women.. we all deserve to feel like queens and kings and princesses and princes (depending on your preference) I myself, prefer QUEEN!

Think about it!

Step outside your comfort zone.. its not as scary as you think!

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Dear Readers,

I have signed up to do a 10 mile walk/run at the end of March and I am scared but I am doing it. Between now and then I need to run longer and faster but work myself up incrementally, I know that I can do it but it seems a daunting task at the moment. I got sick right after my birthday which impeded my progress but I am back on it now. I will work out tonight no matter how late it is or how tired I am when I get home. I know that sometimes you have to let that go and sleep instead of work out or sleep in instead of working earlier like you planned but there is also something to be said for accountability and the fact that I have told the 1087 of you following my blog that I will do it means that I have to.

A note about that, I started this blog 3 years ago and it astounds me that I have that many followers. Lots of people have a lot more and lots of people have a lot less. It’s not a measuring stick, but a factoid. If I am going to accomplish my goal of world domination it is nice to know I have that many people’s rapt attention.

I tell you this because I think it is very important we do things that scare us – To paraphrase the great director Baz Luhrman- “Do one thing every day that scares you” — I am not talking about crossing the street without looking both ways or purposely doing something you know will endanger you. I mean step up to do something that scares you because its “unfamiliar” and “unknown”. You will never truly know what you can accomplish until you try. If you don’t believe me, try it and see and then argue with me about how I was wrong. Even if you don’t succeed, you have lived a little more fully than you did the day before. We all hear those platitudes- “Seize the day” “Do one thing a day that scares you” but what do we really DO about it? Well I will tell you beyond the 10 mile walk run, I have volunteered to do a work presentation which may not seem scary but I have not done one before so I am scared and it represents a major step as well putting myself out there for an even bigger opportunity all in aid of getting to my Ted Talk.

It’s scary to type but there it is in black and white. Ted Talk, I will do a Ted Talk.

In the world of doing the baby steps I inquired and found out that you can’t even apply to give a Ted Talk till Summer 2016. I was disappointed, a big part of my “but I want it now” and the total impatience that does not go with delayed gratification but as my darling husband pointed out, this gives you time to be perfect. Well, if not perfect at least the most prepared. One more thing about that, I started realizing that if I have a long-term goal like that I need to go from that goal and work backward and develop a game plan for “getting there” much like my “steps to a marathon” coming up in March!

Think about it!

1. What represents stepping outside your comfort zone to you?

2. What is something you say that you want to do but never take any steps toward? (mine was learning French as an example)

Health is a gift…. Do not SQUANDER IT!

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Dear Readers, Some of you may have noticed a post missing last week some of you may not have.. Well I was sick which really made me mad because I got a flu shot, am exercising, (not as much as a should) but exercising, drinking water.. getting enough sleep.. (well again not as much as I should) ah wait, I am beginning to see a pattern here.. are you?

There is nothing like a bout with sickness to make you appreciate health. We all know what we are SUPPOSED to do for good health.. but we don’t do it.

Get 8 hours a of sleep.

Drink 64oz of water day.

Eat good for you food.

Exercise.

So when I did a personal inventory I have to admit I was pretty lacking in all of these areas, so I am renewing that effort with a vengeance. I know, I know, its not always possible to get 8 hours, kids (kids sickness), work demands, life demands but try. I tell you what, just do one thing on the list. Hydrate more.. even if it is just one of the things. Exercise– Take the stairs once a day, and take them slowly but take them. Yes, the elevator is faster, but what is your hurry? It’s your life, ticking away one minute at a time. Don’t rush, take your time. Stop and smell those roses.

I see people around me dropping like flies so I fought the good fight, I drank orange juice and did all the things I do when I get sick but I truthfully think it was my body saying, ENOUGH! I will force you to take care of yourself and if this is the only way, SO BE IT.

Don’t let this happen to you, do something to embrace your health today, its a great gift we ALL take way too much for granted.

Think about it!

Date Night with a Stranger

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Dear Readers,

If you have read my blog for any amount of time, you will know I am unabashedly in love with my husband. He is my Prince Charming in every sense of the word, I love him in a besotted way. I could go on and on and on… and often do!

My birthday was this past weekend and among many things we did was a movie night/date night. I got a free movie because it was my birthday (go me!) and we are on a budget so he also used a coupon for 2.00 off so because of that, we were in two different lines and he used this opportunity to pretend not to know me in the ticket line. At first, I thought, this is so cute, and was ready to give it up, but he kept flirting and pretending not to know me, so we made up names and peppered our conversation with little snippets of things only we know after being together for 7 years. The great thing about this is that we switched personas and pieces of each others story. That first brush of the hand near the popcorn was truly electric and it felt like the first time all over again. As a lifelong fan of “revisionist history” and “time space stories” such as Back to the Future, it was fun to play pretend especially because the longer we played the more I became convinced that we end up together in any timeline!

It was fantastic and I highly recommend you do it with your partner, because its very exciting to flirt with someone who already belongs to you!

New Year New Goals!

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Dear Readers,

I woke up today filled with inspiration and excitement to talk to you about the new year! What’s that you say? New Years was 15 days ago? Au contraire.. In Jennifer’s world (which, let’s face it.. this blog is Jennifer World) my New Year starts on My birthday which is 1/19/2015 and it got me thinking about the following things

My friends are up to some pretty wonderful things!

One friend is applying to graduate school and I am so proud of him (you know who you are!)

One friend is living in NYC and living her dream of being an actress and REALLY doing it, not just talking about it

Another friend is readying herself to buy a house!

Another friend continues to work on her budget, finances and career simultaneously with specific goals that are measurable and I am VERY Proud.

Yet another friend started a new job and it was hard and difficult to do something new but she is SO glad now.

As for me, I am planning the following things-

1. To prepare a Ted talk and apply to give said Ted Talk.

2. To exercise three times a week no matter the weather or my mood

3. To continue exploring my spirituality in whatever form that takes

4. To find ways to random acts of kindness through the year.

5. To get out of debt! creditcarddebtfree112913(this picture is when we got out of consumer debt on 11/28/2013– all we have left is the car!!!

SO here is the point– January 19th is my birthday and also my New Year. What I ask of people is to do one random act of kindness, you choose what and where and who and all I ask you to do is to tell me about it. That is my present from you, pretty simple and no shipping required.

Ready, Set, GO!

It’s all about perspective….

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Dear Readers,

I talk a LOT about perspective on this blog, but you know its an important topic.

If you are someone who is starting a new diet, your perspective might be, “wow, I have a really long way to” but a better way to look at it is. “I am starting something new that is healthy and will take time for me to figure out how to do well”

If you are someone who is planning to run a 10 mile race in three months (insert scream here) you might say.. “gosh I haven’t worked out nearly enough to get to that goal.. but a better way to say it “I have thrown my hat over the wall and made a financial commitment to be more responsible about my health and that will take time and patience”

If you are someone who auditioned for the show “Chicago” with dreams of singing and dancing to “All That Jazz” and didn’t get a callback or the role, you might think, I should just give up, show business is so hard and its really unforgiving, a better way to look at it is. “I held my own with career dancers and brought it with a song” I may not be what they are looking for right now, but one day soon, I will be, I just need to keep working and playing and auditioning and studying and treating myself as the artist I am and it will lead to wonderful things.

So if you are not feeling particularly Pollyanna or Tony Robbins at the moment, I hear that, (that is kind of why I wrote the blog today to snap myself out of a funk) just don’t stay in the funk, take a beat and think about what you can reframe or change in your kaleidoscope and find the best possible way to look at it and think of this…. and be sure to yell, that is the best part of this advice! IMG_0258

Be BIG, be BOLD, be BRIGHT!

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Dear Readers, its 2015! Hooray!

Every year we get a chance to do something new, start over or just plain start.

This year, I am starting off by auditioning for a show I love. It’s absolutely not something that I would have thought possible without the help of my very intense Meissner class over the last year and a half. The instructor said in one of our early classes, “I coach principals” and to clarify for my non-actor readers perusing these words.. that means he coaches Hamlet, not Horatio.

I have worked harder this year on my craft and opened myself up more than I have ever done before and its scary, soul-shattering stuff. In case you thought being an actor was easy, you were wrong. I am living proof.

I find it important to write these words BEFORE the audition when the hope wells up inside of you like a fountain ready to burst forth with all the energy and enthusiasm you can muster. I have auditioned a lot this year and felt good about each and every one but you don’t have control over casting. As a director, I know this but it doesn’t mean I like it. On the other side of the coin, part of being an actor is full-time auditioner, part-time role taker. It really is that simple. A no comes a lot more often than a yes but the no’s make you savor the yes that much more.

I do not know what will happen with this audition on Sunday, I only know that I am preparing myself and working as hard as a I can to be the best I can be and that’s where my control ends.

The thing I hold fast to is these words-

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

So I hope that by bearing my soul to you, my dear wonderful reader, that it encourages you to shine your light, to be BIG, Be BOLD, and BE BRIGHT!

What do you have to lose? Nothing. What do you have to gain? Everything!

Think about it….

SwirlyGirlJenniferHaston

What

Friendship is a dance… are you dancing alone?

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Dear Readers!

Happy Holidays to you and yours! Be you Christmas or Hannukah or any other holiday I am leaving out please make sure you take a moment to call or text (yes I said text) the person you love to tell them so.

I really hate text messages but got a really wonderful one ( you know who you are) so maybe, just maybe I am being a little too hard on text messages. Don’t get me wrong, I still prefer face to face over facebook and voice to voice over texts.. but sometimes text messages are an electronic hug and I am really okay with that.

I saw a great quote yesterday about celebrating the occasion of taking down the tree with just as much fervor as you do putting up the tree and I liked it so much that it inspired this post. I know we can’t be 100% happy all the time but it’s definitely worth embracing the good and loving things and throwing out the bad.. as my dear friend Rachel wrote in “Phineas” “Keep the bad out and all good things close” — its worthwhile advice and while its a little early for New Year’s Resolutions here comes a big one from me. I am going to put in equal parts effort in each relationship I have. What does this mean? I am not going to seek people out to be my friend. If you want to be in my life, you have to work at it. I am advanced citizenship. I am busy (so are others) but not too busy for people who make the effort and I find myself tired of those unwilling to do so.

It’s not hard to be a friend, It just takes effort which looks different for each relationship and in return you make effort.. its a dance and its no fun to do it in the corner alone.

So dance with me and take a long hard look at what people need to make the effort with you!

Stop, Take Stock and LOOK at what you have done…

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Dear Readers,
Today’s post is dedicated to my good friend Susie Gidseg. A year ago I was prepping for a fabulous photo shoot see this post for those details https://jenniferhastonsays.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/former-fat-girl-to-pin-up/

and at that point I was just starting out on this journey of exercise to lose weight. She and I started working out every Sunday and it has helped me stay on track for healthier eating and exercising. I hopped on my treadmill ( thank you Leslie ) and walked for a while and then ran for a while. I also started eating healthier and found new energy levels heretofore unseen by me .. ever ( and I am including the 19 hours I took at ACC while working three jobs) so it’s worth noting that the me of a year ago is not the me of today.

It’s heading towards the end of a year so I invite you to stop, and take stock and figure out what you did right and figure out where you can improve and change but really truly, focus on what you did right first.. our tendency as humans is to focus on the negative and one of the things I did right this year is focus on the positive and I plan to continue that trend into 2015.

Some things that JMac, Lady McKermit, The Goldfish, McKenna, Gazellionaire Girl, Poppy O’Shea (so many nicknames) did right include:

1. Glamorous Photo shoot to celebrate new health choices

2. Invest in my future by continuing to audition and work hard at my craft as an actor and discover new avenues in voiceover and modeling jobs.

3. Work lots of extra hours to help us pay down our debt.

4. Spend time with friends in the open air instead of one that requires a wireless connection

5. Active search for what church means to me and how to make that work for me and my family.

6. Join the Fighting Irish Cheerleaders (life long dream realized in 2 minutes) thanks Liz Roark!

7. Keep running even when I don’t want to, even when I am tired, even when I am cold, hot or otherwise unengaged in healthy behavior (thank you Keya!)

8. Keep working to be the best I can every day, somedays that is harder than others to uncover

9. Being a good wife to my husband

10. Working on my speaking in Toastmasters to get to my goal of giving a Ted Talk.

The list could go on but I am more focused on you, (that’s you on the other end of this screen) what did you do right this year? What are you excited about accomplishing next year? Take a beat, really take in that question and then answer it below!

Think about it!